turboplanner

I bought some Japanese ones. They are a little bit different. Not sure whether I'll be able to get them up in time.

I might be lurking around.....and I might not

"I'm a rough tough Speedway type" replied Tubb "And I'll .........

"....take yer kneecaps off with one flick of the steering wheel, making sure I'm in the Chief Steward's blind spot" he said thinking fondly back to old times when you could sort problems out in much simpler ways.

"With all these nubile young girls travelling to Narrowmind for a feel of Ian's buns, the tent's going to be a bit squeezy, and when they realise their mistake they're going to eat the hot cross buns, and having learnt a thing or two at the B&S pre-party, will start to eat the buns, so Ian, having provided the loaves, is now going to have to work out how to produce little fishes or the conversation is going to get right of aviation matters."

Tub didn't have his heart in the fight because he knew in his heart that Ce Crappe really was the BS king....

No worries, have put in an email, we'll see what happens

"Oh no" she exclaimed 'That means I'll be ...............

...subjected to squizzies by those crazies who write the storiez (sorry) about the Aunties, who put the squeezies on the snoozers, who are just a bunch of boozers"

"I'd much prefer you Kev" she said remembering she'd seen an ad for vegetarian dog food, and there may be another way to solve this.....

He must either have a speech to give this arvo or there is a concert on tonight."

Or is he perhaps afraid of Steve B :star::star::star::star:, who might pick his lock and clean his clock (or maybe wind it)? :yuk::yuk::yuk:

 

"No he has a .....................

 

The Aunt is incensed and insulted by Peter G, where she is in tears in the corner of the garden :broken_heart:

Being the consumate politician that he is, Peter G addresses the issues one at a time, because people are usually bored after the first point.

"Before I say that, let me say this, my Government (I thought we owned it) led by Basher Rude cannot be held responsible for every Tom, Dick, or Crepe spraying false accusations about our secret intentionas, so he's not getting the five hundred dollar bonus (sounds of clapping as taxpeyers in the audience recognise the government is saving their money)

"Secondly, not a speech or concert, but more fun, I'm off with the big end of town making them the opposite promises I made when I was a tree hugger.

"Thirdly, I know for a fact Steven B will remain outside any locked gate, so I had a lot of cardboard locks made up when I was in China with the big end of town, got a 10% discount for 50,000.

"I'm not sure what number comes after thirdly, none of our songs went more than three verses, but thirdly and a bit, I can categorically state that I certainly do not.

"Finally (how's that for getting out of counting), this Aunt in the garden thing has gone on too long. If she has a garden then she's obviously one of the Obscene Rich earning more than $20,000 per year so we're going to introduce an Aunt in the Garden Tax, and we expect to bring in another $Trillion per year which we will spend on travel for President (Sorry, get it wrong sometimes, heh,heh) Prime Mutterer Rude.....

Well, for a start, based on what Captain has been saying, you might not be able to handle the speed of the Jab compared to the Sports Star.

Seriously, it only seems to add extra training hours if you switch from plane to plane and have to get your eye reference/co-ordination/speeds etcup to recency standards.

A bit of flying on a holiday with an instructor is likely to broaden your experience. Give CFI Ian a call - he one of the best in the business and will advise based on your own case.

"Right", thought Geronimo Garret Turbo, "that's Wagga", and you'll note Le Crappe was able to refer to all the supporters by name (not realising that Kevin Rudd was our Prime Minister, not Barack Obama), "now the world" and he settled back trying to complete a 300 page scan which, due to giggles and the need to think faster than Le Crappe had already been broken up into 7 segments all needing editing and additional scans.....

OK dracer, I did ask you to PM me if this was occurring, but I'll see what I can do to help. If you get a phone call, please don't turn a hose on the person, this will be someone trying to cut red tape.

married?

"Yes, ban him" chorused ........

..the eight pairs of Waggas which had bred up as a result of record summer temperatures.

The City had kept this quiet with almost the same tenacity as they'd tried to quieten down the repentant footbal player - the only one they could ever produce.

The truth was a lot more terrifying.

In the 19th Century when the aviators of the day were still plucking the tail feathers out of seagulls and deducing that it was lice which made them fly, the squatters (ancestors of today's Farmers Federation) were grabbing each others land and women further and further towards the west.

Finally they came on an area with sweet water, beautiful climate, and wonderful pastures (they were idiots).

The local Chief, Geronimo Turbocharger (it's true, I was named after him) told them to p*ss off, but not in so many words.

Noting, after they had shot sixteen of his men that they were reluctant to do so, he said "Come over to this water hole and I'll tell you why no European should live here"

Curious, Captain Crap (whose great great grandson still retains part of the name) played along and said "Why Not?"

Now the aboriginals of that time had no plurals, because they hadn't needed them - there wasn't much food, there wasn't much housing and there was no money

It make sense really; if someone brought back two roos instead of one, you ddn't need to count them to know it was going to be wild in town tonight.

So all Geronimo could say was Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga on, and on.

Crap thought it was a bit much when it had gone on for several hours and cut the discussion short by saying: "All right, I get the picture, you don't have to nag, we'll call the place Wagga Wagga in deference to your stutter, but this looks like the place for a village and a gordforsaken airstrip with RPT's hanging out of every tree.

Geronimo said to his son Twin Turbo, who had wasted no time cross breeding "Take your son and go to South Australia (which hadn't been named then but this man had foresight) because you know what's about to happen."

It was Twin Turbo who warned Captain Little Crap what was going to happen.

"You've heard of Dirk Hartog, the Mahogany Ship, and the Marie Celeste" he said "well those guys all came here to live, but after a hot summer the Waggas swarm like locusts.....and they are scrotum eaters! ..... they take human form!

Little Crap told his father and they decided to say nothing, but sprayed every year.

However memories fade and one year someone forgot to spray.

The eventually came the hot summer of 2009 and Wagga Wagga was about to become infamous in world history as the 8 Waggas, who had used the ruse of regrouping a very old and seedy pop group started to breed.......

'Ive even seen him .....

".... polishing his rudder, while no one was looking....."

'I'm hitching up to Narromine" said Nanna "And I'm hitching up my cottontails too. I can't wait to get a hot cross bun into the oven, and then I'll .............."

"...take me teeth out to the rust busting drum of Molasses acid, get some pink lipstick, paint me toenails, and go back for a grab of Ian's buns..."

=

"Typical LAME" said some unkind soul ... and it sounded like Lional the Level 2.

"Some of them don't even ...............

"....have To-Moh-Orks, they just use their teeth, which gives a very rough crew cut" , said General Cont....

Prenatal, but I see he is modifying so watch out for a bang!

Captain shot too early

.... she was from Narrowmind which meant that Larry was right. She just knew 2 things (on a good day).

'You should have seen me and Cont when we ...............

"...went to Narrowmind last year" said Larry Lycoming "we knew she didn't like over ambitious flyers taking advantage of her apparently simple nature (she had a PhD degree) and we knew she was an expert in the squirrel grip, which was why General Cont was so wary.

"So we told lurid stories at the bun tent and then sat back and watched.

"Sure enough there was a procession of flying heroes chatting her up and disappearing under the wings of their overnight accommodations, usually followed by screams which led to panic in the camping area, dampened after Narrowmind Management put out a newsletter saying they were the calls of dingoes who had never been known to enter the camping area.

"The joke went sour when Le Crappe was seen chatting her up, following by a lot of fibreglass bangs, which was surprising considering the Jab is a high wing. Narrowmind Management again showed smart footwork by putting out a leaftlet apologising to those who had missed out on Midnight Mass.

With just a few sleeps to go to this year's event, Le Crappe rode his motor bike Indulgence (bikie gangs note he wears Elvis leathers and only fights other RAA chapter members) out to the Hume Highway to see which way was North.

He noticed a huge stream of Getz, Barina, Yaris and even Rav4 traffic, all driven by young blondes and wondered what was going on.

He tried to wave one of them down, but she rightly identified him as an old perv and swerved out of the way, her foot slipping off the accelerator. Her book of instructions had blown out the window a few kilometres back, so she didn't know where to put her right foot.

Le Crappe pounced: "I'll show you where to put it" he said, a single gold tooth glinting in the afternoon sun, then remembered why he had stopped her.

"What's the big stream of traffic heading north?" he asked

"Aren't you on twitter, you old goat?" she replied "If you were you'd know that Slarticats is putting on a three day Pussycat B&S ball to get us in the mood, and then we're all off to Narrowmind to see Ian's Buns, which Starti said were the best in the State.

Le Crappe, just smiled and put a call through to General Cont.

"Get the cameras on the Clear Prop tent this year" he said "once they start trying to get at those buns, it's going to be more exciting than Big Day Out...."

Tyabb and Tooradin, both about 30 mins away. I know at least two rag and bones are based at Tyabb.

It would be interesting to see if you could build a mic into a full face helmet. A little heavier on the neck muscles, but you don't lose your bottom jaw in some accidents.

Anywhere you can get a bang on the head is a good place for a safety helmet. If your crash is going to be fatal you might just get off, but the big benefit is where you might finish up with ongoing brain damage and the helmet reduces the injury to a headache.

Hit the net - there are inexpensive Race Helmets, and some of these incorporate headphones.

"Yes said Cont ... do you have any experience with the Geronimo model of Garrett turbochargers?"

"Sure do" said Larry, who was a smallish Lycoming and thought Custer was a big Cont. "My sister had one and it was ....................

"like lightning off the line, which was very handy for me because I was also very quick off the line in those days."

"My sister said it cooled down very quickly though, and that caused a lot of cracking, particularly when it had been fitted to a radial", said Larry

Larry's sister knew a thing or two - she was from Narrowmind...

"le Crappe disappearing out of sight?" she queried "Not in my book; visitors to Narrowmind should sniff his fuel filler", and as a result of several startled looks she whispered "he has to use Nitro......."

Just then McAhlow pulled up in his big red phallic, with his helmet in his hand, and yelled out "I'm gunna McGet me a 230 as soon as I ...........

...learn how to fly (everyone knows that SportsCZars fly themselves - just look who's got them)........

PS Le Crappe fancies himself as a translator, but his Usbeckistani (the Country was previously called Nyetskigrabontite, but was renamed due to the massive influx of Pakistanis) lets him down.

The name was Geronimo Garrett, and he invented the Garrett turbocharger after hearing a story regarding the time his grandfather's horse got into the turnip patch. he had more recently been working on a design to run a car on water but realised now water was dearer than petrol, sales might be slow.

"So" observed Nanna (who is quite observant). "While most men suffer from MSB at times (but not for long after they meet me and my girls) McAhoh has been suffering from MNESB, but he is better now that he is back in composition mode."

"No he's not" said ...........

 

Ferme la fenetre, mon Aunty ...................

...Mrs Stewart (Turbo, who tort himself to read, had looked up MSB on Wikipedia and assumed Captain meant "Mrs Stewart's Bluing", since Maintenance free Sealed Battery didn't seem to work)

"Tell him to come over here and I'll guarantee he's blue when he goes home" she said "He'll feel a lot better though."

McAhoh cringed in fear because Mrs Stewart was a well known Jabaru pilot.........

Le Crappe can look out his fenetre, but Turbo eats Croissants.....

Vincent Comet, 500 single, seized at 170 km/hr which was exciting, didn't know what a piece of history I had, but remember the aluminium overhead gear rattled so much you could hear it from a long way off, and it dropped oil on all the nice driveways.

Vespa Motor scooter, practiced laying it over from side to side on a beach north of Adelaid until the gearbox caught and it threw me along the beach, fortunately in soft sand.

Mini Bike, built it with engine hinged and belt drive used as progressive gearbox, very bumpy.

Mini Bike with McCulloch chainsaw motor, opened the throttle, came on the power band and the entire bike took off from underneath me leaving me to skid on my bum along the concrete.

Mini bike with coil spring front suspension and Vespa motor, good, light bike to travel bush tracks.

Vespa with Triumph 500 Speed Twin engine and two wheel rear axle to make a trike. Hit some bumps, instinctively put my leg out to steady the bike and ran over it, dragging me off the bike - not one of my best design successes.

Built a Formula 500 speedway car with the Speed Twin and that was the end of the bikes.

Sorry, I posted this in News - should have been here.

I'm very disappointed to read the Post Admin Has Left The Building, but I can understand how Ian feels after being subjected to months of bullying of the vilest kind, and that's what it amounts to.

I would hope the Police do prosecute for what appears to be a clear cut blackmail attempt.

Ian, you should be assured that the massive amount of work you've done is appreciated by the thousands of good people, who will be shocked to see the depths these bullies have gone to in order to inflict maximum damage on you and your family.

However, they didn't just hit you. It appears that around 150 of us have had our private data lifted by someone who is clearly in need of some counselling.

Those of you going to Narromine might want to look up the individual and ask him what he thinks he's doing misusing your private information, and let him know he's not just up against Ian, but hundreds more.