turboplanner

Winsor68: You're halfway there recognizing that writing security codes on gates is not real smart. Publishing information, right or wrong that Mackay is an easy mark could also get you into trouble.

No one is suggesting terrorists are stupid; it is strategically smart to save months of planning by using readily available Intelligence as Orion says, particularly from someone who indicates he works there, and so gives it credence.

I'm reading a book by Richard Helms on his time with the OSS (which grew into the CIA) during WW2, and the allies gained a massive advantage early on in the war by listening in on the gossip of signallers as they transmitted thousands of messages per day spending a bit of time after each message to commiserate on what a hopeless lot the nazis were and why the latest plan wouldn't work. Saved them dropping spies into Germany, walking through the snow.

Orion: This must be frustrating for your wife, given that we haven't really seen any Chinese terrorists. Hopefully the latest methods will reduce that.

Turbo was up early, having bought a little puppy :heart: (12 Jab flys) which usually crapped on the lounge room floor about this time of day, so on the one hand he was pleased he had beaten it to the punch so to speak, but on the other he was finding it difficult to work out where the flow went from the Lovaks post of last night.

So he decided on a Turboblog.

Yesterday hadn't been so good. Easter had been set aside to build new Boxerproof fencing (6 Jab flys), but Turbo had been slipping inside to answer the rapier sharp wit of Capitan.

At one stage the post hole digger had cut into the main sewer pipe, so Turbo placed a piece of rubber over the hole, placed the long handle shovel so it squeezed the rubber on to the hole, then added some quickset (sets in 12 minutes) and raced inside to be faced by a particularly barbed comment that he apparently was incontinent. Like Lovaks he had written a superb rebuttal, but pressed the wrong button and it disappeared.

He became engrossed in writing a new post but they are never as good and finally he gave up.

Out in the garden to greet him was a shovel firmly standing upside down so, taking a leaf out of the Bigglesworth construction Manual he made a post out of it.

He hadn't been flying lately and, living in the Moorabbin (sorry YMMMB) training area, the dozens of students seemd to be picking his house for forced landings and really rubbing it in.

It had been a bad year really - Outboard 1 seizing (58 Jab flys), Outboard 2 seizing (29 flys), Vet bills (33 flys), and so it went on.

Then he had to read the cutting comment of Morsecodetomcat.

"It was true" he thought, that Queensland was a weight that we southerners had to carry on our shoulders.

"We nearly got rid of them in WW2 when we set up the Brisbane line" he thought, "but typically the Army HQ forgot to tell the 150 Chocos fighting the 2500 Japanese on the Kokoda Trail (only the Port Moresby based loafers called it Track) to call a meeting with the Japanese and invite them to take over Queensland.

(Secret Maps released 50 years aftrer hostilities indicated the "Brisbane" line was a myth - the line generally followed the NSW border but included some NSW towns which had been giving trouble.)

For the young, Chocos or Chocolate Soldiers were the weekend volunteer troops, not regular army, and they were expected to melt like chocolate in any real battle. Some Chocolate!

Just think of it:

There would be no Cuddy Station, so Adelaide residents would not have to drink sheep urine.

Queenslanders would have to bow to the rest of us.

Japanese cars would be a lot cheaper.

There would be more Japanese tourists spending money in the southern States.

And Tomo, you would be flying a Zero crop sprayer....

.... as it will be softer than your hand puppet when wrapped around your .........

...undercarriage.

Meanwhile back at Wagga Wagga the ASIC inspector had Mahatma Koti wrapped in a head lock. Although there were two Feds in the terminal, they had rushed out the back as soon as trouble erupted, leaving the hard work to the Inpsector, who also worked part time at the dog pound.

After a four hour interrogation during which Mr Koti admitted getting a false passport through his cousin Mahatma Pantis, and using Narromind to enter the country during Easter since there were more backs to be turned, and judging by Le Crappe,s photos (the 2007 event for those of you who hadn't noticed), little chance of being recorded, the ASIC inspector turned his wrath on the slackarsed bunch of clowns in charge of security at Natfry 2009.

He commandeered Cap's bun ridden Jab at flew into Narowmind at 113 knots.

The boys all came out clapping and cheering, thinking the Rat had returned, but as the ASIC inspector marched toward the metallic blue overalled President Eugene, they realised the easy going days were over......

Don't .............

...ever tie down an aircraft with cotton rope", said Avlovak, for he had picked that Tomo was a cotton picker who picked cotton, and knew a thing or two about cotton wool. In fact Tomo, who normally preferred speaking in Morse Code rather then English, and who came from the place made famous by a well hung ram, was busy working in partnership with Slartipants designing a landing gear, for Sheeters, using cotton wool.....

I aim to check out a few Echuca "Hemispheres" when I am down there on the 25th, so if the tent is a rock'n, I'll be a knock'n" said ...............

Big2$ while admitting it would be with a piece of 2" pipe for the nose leg, engine mounts made from a Coles shoppng trolley, and no fabric on the top side of the wings (Bernoulli was only an Italian peasant). Caroline caught the bus for Swan Hill.....

Turbo was there to save the day, beating cappo and Loks

But what about ....

...the damage they'll do to Echuca, Church City" said the Mayor who was always thinking up new ways to promote his town.

With a rat like twist to his whiskers, and the faint gleam of a gold tooth the Rat said "Don't worry Grandad, the place was in need of a good rip up"....

Thumper.....Thumper....you out there?

"Remove before Flight" ....

......"Geeeeeeezus!" yelled BigPete and his face turned white.

He grimaced, exposing his huge tobacco stained teeth and wondered what to do next. Without an ASI (avation term+ acronyn - 10 points for Turbo), it would be impossible to land this thing. Like a lost space shuttle the Jab flew over the rough saltbush country towards Booligal where, after it hadn't rained the cracks in the clay often swallowed merino rams........

There is some very specic information in some of these posts about lax security.

Just bear in mind that Victoria has tried, convicted, and locked up at least 15 genuine terrorists. hasn't made the headline but they are there in Port Phillip prison.

And, this is the most frightening part, their associates haven't been caught yet, so be careful about pointing out weaknesses in your airport security - you could be one of the injured.

"And the other stains on his dacks are from .....

...the oil well which just came in", said Nanna. "We knew if we told anyone we were drilling for oil at Booligal there would be a rush of graziers, recflys and biker molls trying to shift our pegs, so we just shut up, and now we've got the money, and we're about to share it aout with our friends like BigPete."

"What's that you've been saying about me and Turbo?" asked Nanna rhetorically and Natfly Rat's heat sank.

BigPete who had been nursing his grandchildren on his knees ans watching an old Gregpry Peck movie threw one out the window, and the baby into the sink (caution:don't try this at home grandfathers)

Without any preflight checks and with the tie ropes still firmly anchored he set off for Booligal.....

"Don't say that about the Crapp Rat" said ...........

..the bikie's moll, "they called him Nat Fly Rat for a while because he ran right through Natfly with his fly open. Some wanted to report him to the Federal Police, but others said it was no big deal.

But Mahatma Koti was just beginning to find out what powers an ASIC inspector possessed.....

Tubb replied "Yes, you can ................

"....draw the conclusion about microwaved hot cross buns, but I happen to know he always drops in at the Kentucky fried shop after work, goes down to the now sold for development air precint and pretends to fly, just sitting there making brm brm noises while he eats his 7 pieces, so a lot of chicken fat drips on to the controls, and that's what leads to people commenting on his slipery flight style"

"However, Capitan, I have to tell you that after you left Narrowmind, some evil people dubbed you the Natfly Rat.

"has a ring to it, and we'll keep it for future use, but I, your friend, pointed out to Ian that it was the epitome of what a professional pilot should do in the face of uncertain weather, and we shouild wait to see how many wheat farmers have new furrows in their paddocks by Easter Monday."

There was screaming at Natfly, where Ian had just offered buttered hot cross buns and tea to President Eugene Wingover and his entourage, reached into the packet and realised Capitan, while oozing all over him yesterday, had pinched the lot for his new venture....

There was also trouble at Wagga Wagga International Airport (two RPT's per day), as Capitan, after responding to a call of nature while showing his card to the ASIC inspector, began unpacking hot cross buns into a couple of old pig feed bags in readiness for tomorrow's market.

There seemed to be a lot less than he'd loaded......

He looked towards the terminal;there seemed to be some sort of commotion....

For the first time ever the ASIC Inspector, who'd been demoted from CCTV controller at Kingsford Smith Airport after being found to be a bikie's moll, had discovered an intruder....

"What is your name", he said, face going red, two day growth standing on end, purple nose and jowls twitching.

"Mahatma Koti", said the obviously Indian genetleman PCers - he had an I love India T Shirt on) with the belly full of buns.

"I've just come from the Bunjab" repled Mahatma

"How did you get past immigration" said the ASIC Inspector

"I've lived here for thirty years" said Mahatma, I have passport and all papers.

Sensing he may have made a mistake the Inspector went back to firm grounds: "Where's your ASIC Card?" he asked with a slef serving smile on his face.

"Oh goodness gracious me, there's no problem, I was on my way to Brunswick to get one" he said

"Why Brunswick?" asked the Inspector cautiously because the pricks in admin changed the rules so many times this might be the new retail outlet.

"I was told to go to Brunswick by my cousin, and ask for Malarkos Kotsas (no relation), and he'd print one for me and sixteen for the rest of my family so we could come and go any time", said Mahatma.

And that, NES friends shows how ASIC slackness at an airport like Narrowmind can lead to undesirables infiltrating Wagga Wagga, training location to the stars, and rumored soon to be used by NASA for space launches...

"Thanks goodness SlartiButtCrack doesn't know about my ........

"...HotCrossBunsRUs venture or he'd be calling me KingRat. I couldn't help it that security was slack at the RA tent and Ian kept looking out for the hordes of nubile blondes after reading Turbo's very well concocted story.

"The Jab was bulging with buns on the way home, and somewhat down from its 115 kts at 4200 rpm, but we made it with the stock, and tomorrow in the main street of WGA it's going to be Bun On!.

"I know I'm on to something here because BigPete has developed a fetish for iced hot cross buns, so there'll be no problem disposing of the old stock.

But there was just one problem for DPR (DownPipeRat)....

Told you he was cunning...probably got a plane load of hot cross buns as well!

I wonder why the CCTV doesn't work.....

Captain has been very possessive about this and has banned New Zealanders , everyone who doesn't have a beard, eveyone who doesn't fly a Jab (which didn't reduce the numbers much, and everyone who doesn't have a southern cross painted on the tail (which did), so he's the only entrant. (Don't tell anyone about the Southern Cross - he uses it to navigate, assuming it points to the south)

Never mind BigPete, the Echuca fly in is going to be something you've never experienced before!

I've entered you in the Gumleaf music competition and the mud wrestling. Was that OK?

We are now more than half way to 2000 posts. Seems only a short time thatsome devious but lukcy poster celebrated 1000.

No, that's OK Adrian, but you gave me a potential legal problem and I had to fix it fast.

There are two issues - one is the threat to the PIC licence, the other, potentially a lot more painfull is the public liability should someone be injured. A Quadriplegic passenger with around $7 million compensation on the table is quickly going to bring out the full details of any arrangement.

Never fly near Rodds Bay - he'll get you one way or the other!

Don't know much about it. My Uncle let it out late into the night at a party. Had got together with a couple of US Navy guys who flew a PBY round and found it - mentioned it was off a point a bit like a pen nib. They went back and sneaked a PT Boat around the area, but couldn't find it.

Reminds me of the Liberator that went down just off the southern tip of Badu, carrying gold bullion Macarthur had been using in the Phillipines. HQ left in a hurry when the Japanese were coming and this load didn't make it. The fin used to be visible at low tide but the place was inaccessible, so it was eventually forgotten.

....-..__;Slarti;.._.]..spotted,---;,,i..... if you get my drift...

.... but at least with Nanna there he knew that he wouldn't need to give his sock puppet a run. He could just ......

.... ... .. . (sorry, out of word quota)