turboplanner

Viscous was the word.

He went down to the local Visco and started singing "VISCO visco VISCO MANNNNNN!" while dancing from one skinny leg to the other in the hope of attracting a partner, but only a stray cat showed any interest in him. She pounced....

Collect ...... Rive the ugry Lat arone

Because, with his gold tooth, he can be viscous (10/50).

 

"Don't wolly" yelled the Nob, "For I am a ...........

"....Viscostatic Man.

"I go to the Visco every Saturday night, and when a brawl looks about to elupt, we gou outside and bow to each other repeatedly in the most insulting manner because....."

Yes, he is UGLY.....

Yes, but where did she finish up? that's the interesting story.

"I'll second that" responded that Nobu bloke, who was back in OZ and keen to play hide the ..................

"...sushi"

Then Sheila added "Youze should all refer to us as ...................

"aviatrixes"

They all laughed and the Rat said "trixers more like it...."

And that's where the old saying "There's no flies on our sheilas" came from

The Japanese escapees were kicking up their heels seeing the sights of modern Osaka, so they had no need for RVanythings. Aki was immediately appointed CEO of the JeansRUs chain, Nob got a jib at McDonalds, Michio went in Unemployment, and the others decided they'd just bum around on Harleys for a few months.

It was 7.45 pm, well after the bed time of some of the Cowra visitors, like the Rat.

Some had gone to the dinner, some had gone to bed and some were just idling around talking, but all were away from their aircraft.

"Let's make a run for it" whispered Akahiko (Australian name hiccup)

Turbo saw the shadows crossing the paddock, and stiff legged, followed them with half a dozen rabbit traps which alternatively would serve to scone them then secure them, in the old way.

Just as they reached the aircraft there was a blood curdling "HALT!" and the area was bathed in floodlights.

It was the ASIC man.

"Show me your cards!" he said, but the escapees just looked at him blankly.

"Show me your passports" said the ASIC man, confident he was on a winner tonight.

"We are Japanese prisoners of war" said Aki, Serial numbers 2,3,4,5 and 6, so you can see we been here quite a while.

"What happened to No 1?" asked the ASIC man

"He rand on ship on way out" said Aki tactfully.

"Well", said the ASIC man, "If you haven't got cards and you haven't go passports, I'm going to have to deport you"

Aki turned to Nob and whispered "This a Light Fligging Iriot!", but turning back to the ASIC man said "Well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Shortly after, the visitors heard the whine of a Rex starting up ready to take off downwind. The flight reached Sydney soon after and there was a quiet transfer to the Jetstar direct flight to Osaka, or Oska as the locals call it and nine hours later they were eating sushi and being debriefed.

None of the Cowra visitors were aware of the near miss; as far as they were aware the Cowra Breakout occurred during the War and all escapees were recaptured.

Turbo had been caught on the airfield without an Asic Card and in possession of non-humane rabbit traps, which was a more serious offence.

The Feds did a deal with him. Go back to Victoria, say nothing about the events, and donate one boat motor per year to the ASIC water ski club Inc.

The escapees were getting well and truly sore by now holed up in the plantation. They couldn't move across the open ground until dark.

"Or Big Noters here now", said Aki "Rook at way Lat plance around his Jab admiring porish"

"There Tan Pussy" said Nob and they all giggled "SSSHH!" said Aki, "he not TOTALLY deaf"

"There AdminDilector" said Toshi "he rook very formal today"

"We got one each now" said Shin "Just wait till dlum get led hot and they start p*ssing in each other's pockets, then we go".

Turbo was lying under his cover of branches a few metres away. The blow flys were really starting to buzz round him. He's taken the SAS practice of not washing for a week before an operation, and he was beginning to wonder if the buzz would give him away.....

Turbopranner wasn't quite sure what Tomo meant, but he was currently freezing his but off, dressed in camouflage, face blackened, lying in a tree plantation adjacent to the field, covered in branches which were dripping freezing frigging water down his neck.

He was looking at 10 cheeks of five bums of the escapees who had also covered themselves with branches but had forgotten to cover their rears....

In many hours of flight time I have not had that many engine outs.

Having said that, you've put the scenario very well in terms of minimising this risk, and shown how it's possible to safely traverse "tiger" country.

The second point I'd like to make is that since the mid '80's we lost the legal ability to decide whether to take a risk or not. As we've seen in past discussions, when this comes to light after an accident many insurance companies enforce their non payout clause, and if someone else gets injured you can also face criminal charges where it is shown that you knew that what you were doing represented an increased risk.

So the good old hero days are over.

An example to underline this point is the announcement this week by the Federal Government that Front Underrun Protection Systems (FUPS) will become mandatory on heavy trucks in Australia from 2010, and they expect this to save 10 lives per year.

"But the excape plan is to .........................

"...stick together" said Akihiko patiently "there'll be prenty of bean soup back in Tokyo, no steak though, cost is 60 dorrars a serve"

"WHAT!" yelled Nobushi. "Why we returning to Japan then"

The escape plan was beginning to unravel.

"And you reckon that I'm a pirrock?" commented Nob "I'm just a sadine compared to these blokes, and they are ...........

"......real artists!"

"Gather lound" Aki said "just a few more hours to go. Now remember, we wait until dlum fire going and stories getting bigger and bigger, especially Lat's stories because they are full of BS and everyone likes them"

"Then we cleep towards aircraft being VERY quiet. If you stub toe on rock, don't start sucking air through your teeth rike Japanese woos!"

The escape plan was set.....

You cannot guarantee you will not have an engine failure - something which is outside your control.

It may be more likely if you pick the wrong engine (not make) because every manufacturer has a failure rate, usually more than 3%

It may be more likely if you fail to maintain the engine's specifications correctly

It may be more likely if you use fuels and oils not designed for the engine

It may be more likely if the aircraft is a home built

It may be more likely if critical nuts/connectors aren't wire locked etc

It may be more likely if someone has added some electrical componentry and not increased cable diameter

There's a lot of potential here for a bullet to find its way into the chamber.

The significant difference in safety consideration between a car and an aircraft is that if an engine fails or if you run out of fuel you don't just roll to a stop.

It's all in the getting down without wrapping yourself around a tree.

The key to a safe flight is to always have a rat hole, and it would be interesting to see how many people know their glide ratio and use it for planning purposes, and how many people have physically checked it.

Using this simple precaution you can flight plan your altitude to suit gliding distance to suitable survivable forced landing sites, in which case the area is no longer tiger country.

I'm pretty sure there is an example of this in the latest RAA magazine.

Qwerty I just had a look on Google Earth around George Town and there's heaps of non-treed areas you can hop to.

I was only going over my Wiltshire Stud figures this morning and trying to figure out why they haven't bred at the rate they should have, what impact neighbouring dogs will have on the 10 year population ($50,000.00) and why stud process seem to fluctuate up 100% when I need to buy some and down 95% when I need to sell some.

All in all I'm reasonably happy with the outcome, but it's a tough job pulling together all the variables that you can control as well as coping with those you can't.

At least I'm not producing wool. Saw the last rams shorn on the family's property a couple of years ago - they were making a loss every year, could make more money in motels etc.

Sorry to hear the dairy farmers have been screwed again. I remember this happening about 30 years ago, then Government action being taken and the guys were back buying new cars again and making the sort of income they deserve. Hope it comes to a head again soon.

That's called Russian Roulette Qwerty.

Yes, wouldn't be practical in winter over there, what a windy City Vancouver can be - I've walked up and down your streets, skiied overlooking the City - magnificent experience, you seem to be about to drop into the streets.

Two possibilities:

If you're doing it a lot, see how feasible it is to remove the drop down window, and try a wrecker, make up a small opening with a shield to stop slipstream, or check out a Cherokee 140 or Warrior.

They have a small flap beside the pilot and you can fly and take photos. It only creates wind flow if you poke the camera out into the slip stream - the Cherokee seems to have a low pressure area each side - as I found out once when I didn't close the hatch properly.

""No mate" said his loyal friend from Wagga "We all know that you carry your key cutting machine around down back to help out stranded aviators and motorists."

"Geeeez" said Nobu "We could have used that back in '43. If AhLo had been around then it would have been The Cowla Sneak-Out and we could have ................

"......key cut our way back to Tokyo"

"They sirry buggers" said Taka, who had picked up the essentials of the local language "they not taking any notice of thleat"

"Nob, nick into town and get some sump oil. We'll bracken our faces with it on Saturday night. That way the Jab pirots won't smell us", said Taka....

I got poor sharpness through windows and distortion through bubbles.

I use a 172 and photograph out of the open window.

(a) You need to hold and steady the camera with a vice like grip (maximum strength), or you'll lose the camera (but I can take a hundred or so shots), although if you stay within the line of the fuselage for more oblique shots there's very little slipstream.

(b) You need a pilot - no way can you do it single handed

From 500 feet photos are sharp even with a Canon Powershot A40 - better camera = better sharpness.

Sounds like a good story Flying Dog.

These reports date way back into the Cable/Telex days when the reports were Telexed to places like Moorabbin/Bankstown Airports, or you could have a telegram sent to you.

These things were not like an email, the practice was to use CODE, and some of the keyboard mistakes could be hair raising, such as:

"..T DIED YESTERDAY"

After wracking your brain for any relative with a name ending in T, you'd make a TRUNK call only to find out it was the neighbour's cat.

To avoid this sort of misunderstanding, some of the key words were often repeated, or words such as REPEAT CAT were added, especially after a previous unfortunate transmission such as NEW GIRLFRIEND.....

You can still see repeated information at times in today's weather reports.

"But" continued the Turbobunghole "What about Steve Ahlow and the adverse effects of his ...............

".....excessive rear COG....."

"Yeah, too right" said Acki "It's like .....................

..."45 all over again".

Turbo was seriously concerned that the people going to Cowra were not taking the threat to their aircraft seriously.

Not all Japanese escapees from the Cowra breakout were recaptured. Four of five of them were never recaptured, and no one knows where they went or what happened to them.

It couldn't be publicised, for propaganda reasons - you can imagine the fears of nearby property owners expecting to have their throats cut at any time.

Traces of a garden were found, but nothing of Japanese origin, and there were rumours that some people of lower morals than most had been buying cheap vegetables, but investigations all came to nothing.

So Turbo had been active, travelling to Cowra as a carpet cleaning contractor and nosing around.

Eventually he had come across a well organised camp in the bush, well camouflaged and with quite an extensive garden under the canopy of trees.

No one was there, but there were tracks in the direction of Cowra. He followed the trail to the southern side of the airport where a makeshift hide was found indicating the group was watching and waiting.

Seeking to protect the people coming to the fly in he reported all this to the Federal police and was mortified when they just roared laughing at the thought of hidden Japanese pilots stealing aircraft from somewhere like Cowra.

But the men haven't been found, so guys lock up your aircraft just to be sure.

[Not you Ahlocks, you'll never get home if you do]

Looks like a policy of take no chances, take no prisoners, John.Would not like the chances of a "red light runner" at those traffic lights.

 

Decca.

Or a wayward Ape just strolling down to pick up some nuts.

As far as I could pick up quickly, Toll own about 68% of Virgin Blue but it certainly isn't Australia's own airline.

Looks like a bit of sour grapes against Qantas to me.