turboplanner

Loxy again! I told him just becaise he was a Captain and drove a Benz fire truck that didn't quailfy him for water bombing, but he didn't listen.

.........come from Rotax gearboxes which lead to passengers giving the pilot dirty looks. It's a fact that of the people who fly Rotax powered aircraft (doubtful avref), very few have lasting marriages. "Mt treatment" said Dr Turbo "consists of 3 weekly  vaccinations, followed by a rehab sessions. There's no cost to it, it's all covered by Bulk Billing, so you can have every potential passenger treated and they won't have to put up with that offensive smell, but one of the side effects of the treatment is ...................................."

[Most NES readers would be familiar with Bulk Billing, probably thinking it comes from the Government, but in fact Bulk Billing Corporation is a subsidiary of Turbine Bulk, and when a Doctor signs up he is allowed to issue unlimited invoices per year, and gets a free apartment on the Gold Coast for two weeks each year with a pass to Dreamworld. Turbine Bulk in turn claims directly from the Government, retaining only 1/3 of a cent per invoiced visit. This brings in $42 million net profit per year.

On another Note Dr Turbo these days mixes with Millenials and the singular of thesis these days is TH. (these days they don't bother with Grade 4 English because it takes too long). The plural of that word is TH2, TH3, or even, for Turbo (sorry, Dr Turbo) TH1,000.]

[Warning; disturbing story of how the original population of Australia got their lunch]

.......mulga leaves and an 8 hour walk from the Murray River. There's no other water, so when that happens the only thing to do is hide beside a kangaroo pad, grab one by the tail, ignoring him kicking you in the balls, rip his heart out and drink his blood, as well as whatever you can lick off of your own, because I usually finish up so scratched that cars hurry by, but life has to go on .....................

[We apologise to the many thousands of NES readers who will be shocked by reading this, but Salty was one of the old brigade that didn't need doctors; he just sticthed himself up. In fact he also left us in stitches a few times.]

.........binoculars to study wildlife on the other side of the river, while practicing his gender-equality skills.

By now, Salty had tired of the whole scene amd was about to pull the old Jab out of the shed, clean the possum nests out of it and ...............

.........test on the Ocuupational Health and Safety Manual, particularly in respect to those ambiguous clauses 602.3, and 1321.5.

"I'm ambiguous" confessed Salty, who was still lying low on the river in Remnark with his friend Gerald, who ........

*weak

1 hour ago, Jerry_Atrick said:

UInsure about Aus, but over here, councils don't tend to pay the best, so they get monkeys... 

Here, they usually not only pay upmarket solicitors, but frequently employ Barristers to present to the Tribunal.

I won't say what the common mistake is, but that is more of a help than a hindrance.

The downside in Councils and Developers doing that is that it introduces big costs, hence the new trend of trying to reef them back with a win, or walking away if the case looks week. It adds another dimension to these cases.

BREAKING NEWS.....Speaking from New York after breaking off an important speak to the General Assembly of the United Nations exhorting all Nations to do more about improving Children's health, Mr Turbine has conformed that he has not supplied any staff to Parliament House, and that a company Captain's Anchors had the current contract for staffing offices.

Cappy desperately tried to deflect the crisis he had slipped into. Staff around Australia held demonstrations in every Capital City. Ten thousand staffers on the steps of Victoria's Parliament cried "Enough is Enough!!" not realising that this new crisis had nothing to do with them, but ........

......wingover themselves, reminiscent of the days when they used to have Aero Commanders, and bend the wings off them.

These days of course they didn't get to fly real airctraft, but were given a subscription to Flightsim, which saved a lot of lives and was just as real as...................

5 hours ago, Jerry_Atrick said:

What is the issue with Tyabb? I can see the council want it shut down, but why? It's not in the most populated area and from memory, it is sort of light industrial/agrigultural around there. I noticed in the article someone was complaining residents didn't get their democratic day in court? What's the beef?

 

 

Council allowed residential developent around it. My recommendation if you are proposing to build an airstrip, and where the Zoning allows this as a permissable Use, is to add a clause reserving an area extending out past the circuit area to retain the current Zoning until such time as all aviation activty ceases.

So in 15 years time when residential development is creeping towards your field, it will stop with enough distance from the circuit area, that there is no argument about noise.

What has been happening is owners have been reserving just the paddock they own, so when the inevital happens and suburbia gets close it creps under the circuit flight paths and people start to complain and organise to boot the airfield out of "their" new residential area.

A party withdrawing from a VCAT Hearing is a relatively new trend. VCAT (and all the equivalents in other States and Territories) was set up as the "Peoples' Court" to handle small claims at low cost. There was a fee of about $20 to request a Hearing and you could pull on a Council or multi-million dollar developer and quite often win. However, to "reduce red tape" (stop this) an $800 fee was introduced, and more recently, if you lost a case costs could be awarded against you.  

My local Council recently opted not to take a developer to VCAT after the developer threatened potential costs of hundreds of thousands of dollars, so we are now getting a development with health risks, and as a small Club or individual you have to think twice about taking someone to VCAT even though you may be morally correct.

So even though, in this case, the Council's withdrawal was good news, in your own district you could be facing a similar situation in reverse if you decided to take the Council to VCAT.

....do.....

alley, and aside from paying CT9000 a visis and guaranteeing a ramp check in the near future, we are seriously considering making Gin [CappyRef], Glycol [avref] and Ice the official CASA beverage to be stocked in our board rooms around the country and carried on the entity's vehicles.

Turbo pulled out a large bottle with a beautiful Label "CASAGGI" with scrolling letters and showing European peasants tending to vines, pointing CO2 guns at glasses of water, and lying down flat on their backs, and announce that the CASA boys would soon be getting packs of these produced by The Old Turbine Distilling Coy (Est 1832), which should give them a ....................

..........of ice and what to do about it.

"Would you put gin on it? asked Turbo helpfully, knowing taht he wouldn't ave given CT any mercy, or a full IFR, even at night,  or ................

Turbo doesn’t know where to start since Captain Chocksaway got so excited about CT’s information that he forgot to give us a lead, so Turbo will..........

.....best lower case. I've been watching you barter those Ultralight things so now you can tell me how you finished up with an ex Qantas 747, fitted out inside with more luxurious equipment than air force 1 - tell me how sunshine or you're in for 12 years of ...................

........Crap Muster, which he'd based on the Deni Ute Muster, where ...............

IT IS SAD that cappy was crawling home from a party at that time, but Turbo was simply doing what he does best - working through the night for a loyal Client. For this one he gets to use the Company Condo in Cannes, France for two weeks.

........could do to save the day.

He yelled out "I'M A FIERY!!!" banking on the community goodwill throughout Australia.

But this was French Polynesia where gay marriages were banned, and the death penalty still applied to men kissing in public.

The crowd turned and rushed for Loxy, murder in its gut, but just as.................

".......Loxie did aerobatics [UntralightShockRef], and bad ones at that. You could hear the frame groaning and the aluminium skin crackling like a machine gun when the rivets started popping, and that was only in a barrel roll"

"It got worse from there when ......."

....a Lubricant of CP2 and castor oil to sell for fixing stuck locks.

He tried it in his Benz and the locking system seemed to work better.

He tried in in his wife's Benz and it seemed to work even better.

He tried it in the spare Benz and it wasn't as good but that car sat around a lot.

He tried it in the Benz van and it worked much better.

So he went to the CopShop and tried to sell a can to Senior Sergeant Doubfire who was doubtful.

So he poured some lubricant in the back door and he poired some in the front door and said "Try the lock now, I think you'll find it much easier on the key.

Both doors were locked solid; they were locked in; Doubtfire looked at him and...................

He was investigated by ASIO and found to be a communist so office probably a Morris Minor

............her face where the parachute had hit, leaving a nasty bruise.

"You XXXXXX XXXX" yelled Granny who didn't see the joke in being fired from Wagga to The Rock  "You get me down out of her Loxie you little XXXX, or I'll tell your mother what goes on down at the Fire Station!"

Loxie went up the side of The Rock hand over hand like a monkey on steroids, grabbed Granny and sild down on his bum, such was the urgency of the matter, because if his mother ...........

The Rock which was reputed to have been used by bushrangers to store their stolen treasures.

There were many nooks and crannies.

Half way up the rock in a cranny they saw Granny.

”How will they get her down” asked a local hayseed, but  Cappy had phoned for his coffee mate Loxie and soon the Mercedes Benz showed up, but as usual his ladder was too short, and......

[We apologise to NES readers; Cappy has had one of his dementia spells and reverted to a post with 20 other posts after it, but Turbo will faithully follow on the last post, un-numbered post # ******]

............on your toes.

Several people have correctly PM'd pointing out that there's no igition agent in either cat or rat p!ss.

The combustion ingredient is Chardonny which fits in quite well because many people will tell you it tatses like cat's p!ss.

5% Chardonnay when mixed with the cat and rat waste product catalyses them both (90% Cat and 30% rat) and makes this excellent fuel which gives a huge power boost over petrol, diesel or methanol.

Cappy decided he'd put some in Loxie's grandmother's Honda City, and she shot straight off the end of Wagga's main street, and they're still trying to find her and .........

....about to demonstrate the loose muffler when there was a huge BANG! and ..............

....shake it like this, and he ...........................