planedriver

Thanks eightyknots, I already knew that. It was just a silly attempt at humor on my behalf.

Sometimes it works, but not always

There are a fair few aircraft from Mittagong heading up on Sunday.Should be a good day weather wise, fingers crossed!

It's no wonder you were looking so proud.

Your aircraft is is a real credit to all your hard work, and looks a real treat.

Just think, probably, now only another 4 or 5hrs, and you can fly it wherever you want.

Lucky Bugger!

Kind Regards

Alan

You are such an inspiration Nev.

Many of the young guns on here, wouldn't realise that in-flight meals often consisted of a a few slices of bread and a long handled toasting fork, where they could make some toast from the glow-in-the-dark exhaust.

Would I even try to kid you of all people?

I must admit that many moons ago, I was very concerned seeing a glowing exhaust at night while flying in an Aviation Traders ATL98 Carvair (DC4 conversion), after putting up with a very wobbly face with all the vibrations during engine warm-up prior to take-off.

How things have changed, to what we have nowa days!

The severe shaking and rattles now seem insignificant, and a thing of the past

I wonder if the appropriate NOTAM was issued beforehand?[/quote

WTF is a NOTAM? Don't spoil our fun! we have short fuses.

Well done Av8ta, keep us posted mate.

What are you training on?

My God, is it really that time again?

Maybe I should get the photo's printed from the last one.

The Smiths.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family..

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later,just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs.Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really? said the photographer. Well, that's good.

Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped for. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me, she thought!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my word! Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat..

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied.' And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling- I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted .

Some observed differences in round engines and jets

1. To be a real pilot you have to fly a tail dragger for an absolute minimum of 500 hours.

2. Large round engines smell of gasoline (115/145), rich oil, hydraulic fluid, man sweat and are not air-conditioned.

3. Engine failure to the jet pilot means something is wrong with his air conditioner.

4. When you take off in a jet there is no noise in the cockpit. (This does not create a macho feeling of doing something manly).

5. Landing a jet just requires a certain airspeed and altitude---at which you cut the power and drop like a rock to the runway.

Landing a round engine tail dragger requires finesse, prayer, body English, pumping of rudder pedals and a lot of nerve.

6. After landing, a jet just goes straight down the runway.

7. A radial tail dragger is like a wild mustang---it might decide to go anywhere. Gusting winds help this behavior a lot.

8. You cannot fill your Zippo lighter with jet fuel.

9. Starting a jet is like turning on a light switch---a little click and it is on.

10. Starting a round engine is an artistic endeavor requiring prayer (curse words) and sometimes meditation.

11. Jet engines don't break, spill oil or catch on fire very often which leads to boredom and complacency.

12. The round engine may blow an oil seal ring, burst into flame, splutter for no apparent reason or just quit. This results in heightened pilot awareness at all times.

13. Jets smell like a kerosene lantern at a scout camp outing.

14. Round engines smell like God intended engines to smell, and the tail dragger is the way God intended for man to fly.

16. Round engines have a tendency to make strange noises, especially at night over water, which causes the pilot to not only study the operators handbook and ERSA, but mainly concentrate on his prayerbook .

Not unknown for comedians to be depressed. Several have comitted suicide. Tony Hancock comes to mind. I doubt that Yank comedians suffer, I just suffer listening to their complete lack pf humour.

Now get back to building that RV, we all want to see the finished product

Great news Stew, If I come up to The Bay again, i'll be twisting your arm to demonstrate to me, some of what you have learned:plane:

So you did'nt tell us whether you are getting a Tui painted on the nose pod fairing?

You must feel so chuffed flying your own A/C

Kind Regards

Alan

A boat is hole in the water you throw money intoA plane is a hole in the air you throw money into

A helicopter is a hole which actively sucks the money out of your hands as you hold it up

 

A wife ( and her divorce lawyer) actively turn you upside down, go through your pockets and then vacuum everything out of every crease and fold before throwing you into one of those aforementioned holes

 

Sadly have now been the proud owner of every one of the above :-(.

So see what a young gun you really are.

Just look at Jabiru Phil. Puts me to shame, but well done Phil.

Thanks for your inspiration to others Phil, including myself.

Kind Regards

Planey

How the heck would you go obtaining public liability insurance launching a thing this big?

My nephew (in the UK) bought a fairly small jet powered model which is good for about 200MPH, but after about 18mths still hasn't been able to fly it, unless he almost re-mortgages his house, to join an elite club and pay the exhorbitant insurance.

The info I got from the FlightAware weekly this morning and it stated that permission to dig them up had finally been given.

Maybe i'm too much of a trusting soul. However it could be very interesting if it turns out to be true.

Hi Dazza I always wear loose fitting casual shoes and remove them completely on long flights but wear 'slipper socks'. I never have problems fitting my loose shoes back on.I wiggle my toes, excercise my feet and legs but still find that the occasional walk up and down the aisle helps a lot more. I usually try to get the seat alongside of the door so that I am able to stand up and do leg excercises and encourage other passengers to do the same, we've had a bit of fun doing that sometimes.

Alan.

I does help you know:happy dance:

Guernsey reckons it works so much better if he gets all the passengers singing as well

They should have shoved a dwarf in it.

I can claim "three owners, almost house trained"!!

Aeroplanes and Yachts are designed to relieve you of all your money,( and then some). Some women do that too. Nev

Funny!

Guernsey, Is that one of those Date drugs?

Stop mucking around with little ones. They're only for sissies!

Having been advised that I should have a colonoscapy, I called my friend Ben Doone, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment.

A few days later, in his office, Ben showed me a color diagram of the

colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all the way from Hobart to The Gulf of Carpentaria and at one point passing briefly through Ayers Rock.

Then Ben explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP MY BEHIND!'

I left Ben's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for

a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a

microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it

to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of Australia's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In

accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I

had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavour.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder

together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.

(For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre of this stuff is about 32 gallons).

Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes at least an hour, because

MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and

urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great

sense of humour, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel

movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off

your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a

nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever

seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience,

with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the toilet was fitted with a

full harness seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom,

spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you

must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which

point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start

eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not

only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing

occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I

spurt on Ben?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?

Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and

totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a

room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little

curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital

garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on,

makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.

Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already

lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep..

At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered

what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom,

so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no

choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where

Ben was waiting with a nurse and an anaesthesiologist. I did not see the

17,000-foot tube, but I knew Ben had it hidden around there somewhere. I

was seriously nervous at this point.

Ben had me roll over on my left side, and the anaesthesiologist began

hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was soft music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was

'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Ben that, of all the songs that

could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be

the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Ben, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for

more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am

going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no

idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing

Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in

the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Ben was looking down at

me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent

when Ben told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with

flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite

humorous!!!!! A proctologist physician claimed that the following are actual

comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing

rectal examinations, including colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Tasmania, we're now legally married.'

6.'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Telecom, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

13. 'How is that throat infection of mine looking?'

And the best one of all:

14. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Well done avi8tor, keep the posts coming

You lucky bugger, I can visualise you flying there, and am so happy for you Stew.

That's wonderful news!

Kind regards

Planey