The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

21 hours ago, Captain said:

.... the perch due to their advanced age, and those that remain find that their pensions no longer support flying all the way to WA against the wind, so they now .....

......go to Tocumwal.  It's central to NSW, SA, Vic and after a short over-water flight, hopefully without a drenching, Tas.

With Turbo's Planning activities he'd learnt about "Revenge Strips" If someone lived off the end of a lane and wanted to be sure no one could extend the lane and build dog facilities or a motel, he bought one metre of the lane. So when developers swaggered in and bought 250 hectares of the end of the lane, they would find two fences erected across the lane with daffodils freshly planted between. Turbo was offered over $1 million for one once. At Tocumwal, Turbo had been quietly buying up laneways and RS's as they're called in the business until one day he owned the access from the airfield to the Tocumwal Golf Club. In this way the flyinees could walk the Tocumwal Golf Club Resort (a motel owned by the Cooks Tour Stops Ltd conglomerate). From there it was a short walk to the huge Tocumwal Club with three hat meals. It was at the TGCR one night that Turbo, weary from a day's business which had started in Mildura, saw a dark grey, plain, Ford Falcon glide in and park outside a room. Two men with smart grey suits and guns on their hips got out and walked over to the Club. Turbo gave it 10 minutes and walked over being careful to sit in the opposite corner of the dining room. When, an hour later, he went to his room, someone had bashed in the windscreen of the Falcon.  Turbo believes it was .....................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

When, an hour later, he went to his room, someone had bashed in the windscreen of the Falcon.  Turbo believes it was .....

.... someone who, for the NES, we shall call "Brent", and he had a penchant for telling other NESers that he was a pistol packing tough guy.

 

Except that there was always a wet spot near his holster, where the bung leaked on the top of his newest water pistol.

 

For the purposes of anonymity around Tocumwal, Turbo wore a hood and decided to investigate further, so he took his personally monogrammed set of Alan-Keys and he approached the falcon from behind (NTTIAWWT, but never let him do that if you are having a coffee or similar recreational pursuit with him) where he explored the .......

[turboplanner]

........locks.

He could usually find a way but was prone to being caught between the sheetmetal and the the rocks at ..........

 

Turbo reports that he was talking with Jack Rameses the other night, to see if he had an updated encabulator, and Jack told the story of how Cappy had got caught in the time machine and finished up in Bombay.

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......locks.

He could usually find a way but was prone to being caught between the sheetmetal and the the rocks at ......

....tacking anyone that walked past.

 

That behavior was the genesis of the machete attacks that have become so popular in Melbournistan, where the .....

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo reports that he was talking with Jack Rameses the other night, to see if he had an updated encabulator, and Jack told the story of how Cappy had got caught in the time machine and finished up in Bombay.

.... where he was elected to be a Maharaja, with a heap of volunteer Maharinis, and Cappy was given the task of injecting a new bloodline into Bombay society and the Indian peoples more generally.

 

Not many people know that it was Cappy who authored the Karma Sutra in 27 languages.

 

Below is a portrait in stone of a small sample of Cappy's Maharinis. Note the smiles on all of their faces.

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Crappy is very disappointed in his best mate, Turbo, for depicting him 2nd from right, in a poze guiding a 767 into its parking spot. Cappy doesn't even mind the lizard head on that guy, as Cappy has sometimes been described as skink-like. But the hurt comes, as not many people know that Cappy has a 3 ft tail that he usually tucks inside his cargo pants and denies if questioned. Turbs saw it when they shared a trench up the Khyber, but I did not expect him to blab in a painting such as this. 

Edited Thursday at 10:35 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Crappy is very disappointed in his best mate, Turbo, for depicting him 2nd from right, in a poze guiding a 767 into its parking spot. Cappy doesn't even mind the lizard head on that guy, as Cappy has sometimes been described as skink-like. But the hurt comes, as not many people know that Cappy has a 3 ft tail that he usually tucks inside his cargo pants and denies if questioned. Turbs saw it when they shared a trench up the Khyber, but I did not expect him to blab in a painting such as this. 

NESsers, of all the things Turbo could depict about Cappy, the very lease would be to break the secret of his tail. Up on the Khyber that tail doesn't know how many times it could have been cut off to make soup, instead of eating gnu every day.                                                      He should have a thought for the guy protected only by the insulator holding on to the filament, or the poor little prick underneath at the top who is the earth.           

Edited Friday at 12:35 AM by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

He should have a thought for the guy protected only by the insulator holding on to the filament, or the poor little prick underneath at the top who is the earth

That's a fair point Tubb, and I note that I also have the earth depicted in my loins,  so will do my best to take advantage of that.

Or is that symbol a foreshadowed hip replacement? 

[turboplanner]

WOW! I hadn't noticed THAT!  Cappy is wearing the revered Circle of Yon!!!!!!!!.

[turboplanner]

20 hours ago, Captain said:

....tacking anyone that walked past.

 

That behavior was the genesis of the machete attacks that have become so popular in Melbournistan, where the .....

.....evening news includes the six Machete wound results, the number of fingers left, and the make and blade style of the machetes; more or less taking over from the now passe; "the 17 youths escaped in a white Jaecoo; 16 of them were out on bail........................................."

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....evening news includes the six Machete wound results, the number of fingers left, and the make and blade style of the machetes; more or less taking over from the now passe; "the 17 youths escaped in a white Jaecoo; 16 of them were out on bail......"

..... or Dan's much revered and missed Covid death count.

 

Everyone in Vicmanistan (except the Bike Boy and his parents) loved and revered Dan because he kept them all safe, and 90% of Mextorians think that the machete issues would be completely under control if Dan was back in power, so they all still "Stand with Dan" and sing the Chinese National anthem each morning at 6 am, then .....

Edited Friday at 08:24 PM by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

WOW! I hadn't noticed THAT!  Cappy is wearing the revered Circle of Yon!!!!!!!!.

Turb's disclosure of this is uncanny as not many people know (or realise) that Cappy is the power behind the Yon-Ka French skincare brand that is sweeping the world.

 

Spooky eh, and here is proof that the Crappy spiritualism goes all the way back to when he came up with the concept of building the Great Pyramid and he was tied up with Cleopatra and a few others of her ilk.

 

What a rich life.

[turboplanner]

.......then prostrate themselves in front of the little photos Dan sold for two dollars (he never had much of an idea about finances; they cost him five dollars to  process).

 

Dan's not well these days,and not many people know about the accident so NES readers are asked not to go spreading rumours. Dan took up bike riding in retirement; bought himself a top of the range magnesium frame mountain bike, and was talked into putting nitrogen into his tyres.

He went into a drag racing accessories shop and asked for a bottle of nitro.

 

A cup full of Nitromethane, if you dropped it, would take out the Gold Coast.

 

Dan dropped the bottle.

 

He was saved by his Great Dane, Jacinta, who now might be sitting up there on Mars wagging her tail, but...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He was saved by his Great Dane, Jacinta, who now might be sitting up there on Mars wagging her tail, but......

..... instead, she is all bandaged up and ready to give evidence anonymously to the Big Build Corruption Enquiry.

 

Based on my searches of the witness list (Cappy has inside access due to his capacity as one of Australia's leading Baristers), Turbo & bull are also mentioned as making an appearance in camera (they are Persons 16.4 and 29 1/2 respectively), as they are both closet members of the Coffin Cheaters, because by rights both should have been in one long ago. bull is actually the Coffin Cheaters Sergent-at-Alms, which just meant that he begs for money at his local pub & rissole, where he competes with the Salvos for donations even though bull cannot play the tambourine to save himself.

 

CT, on the other hand, is the President of the Darraweit Guim 1%er chapter of the Common-Cheerios and he always .....

Edited Saturday at 08:05 PM by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does any NESer know why Tubb wasted so much valuable space on Eeean's website in his last post?

[turboplanner]

Een's pushing for pages?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[turboplanner]

......give the Harley a rev as he goes past the bike shop because, as we know, when you buy a Harley it's a spare part a week.

Ct got his start on bikes when..............

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Ct got his start on bikes when ....

.... some unkind and jealous rival declared that he was the local one.

 

That is when Turbo chimed in with some sage advice, as before the war (Civil/Boer/1st/2nd/Korea - Cross out which does not apply) he had been known as ...... 

Edited 23 hours ago by Captain

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Een's pushing for pages?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This, dear Readers, is what Turbo is all about. Always trying to help others. He is a great guy and a certified worthwhile member of the aviation community.

[turboplanner]

.........."Carburettor" by the British and "Carby" by the Australian diggers and "No Carbs Me Good" by the Turks.

Not many people know where the word "digger" really came from when the Australian male population were at Gallipoli.

The daily food was tinned English beef which tasted like cardboard.

The Australians started digging around looking for better food.            The Senior British Generals, who dined on Roast Beef and 3 veg, with plum pudding dessert accompanied by Sauternes and finished by several Ports on the 8 Hospital ships lined up in the Bay, thought they were digging trenches, and fondly called them "diggers". (The Australians called the Generals "XXXXX" and that was on good days.)

The Australians were in luck because the Peninsula was infested by a Turkish version of the witchetty grub, so they ate well right through the Campaign.

Turbo knew the Turks were doing it hard, and he would often stand up above the trenc first thing in the morning. The Turks never fired at him because they knew he'd be coming across with a bag of grubs and and all the football scores from Istanbul. As usual someone had to spoil it and one day a British General, through a telescope saw Turbo............... 

 

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, Captain said:

(Civil/Boer/1st/2nd/Korea - Cross out which does not apply)

(Civil (The Harley of Hyannis Port)/Boer (The Jawa of Johannesburg)/1st (The BMW of the Bosch)/2nd (The BSA of Burgundy)/Korea (The Kawasaki of Korea) - Cross out which does not apply .... this might be hard as Tubb has really been around.)

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

As usual someone had to spoil it and one day a British General, through a telescope saw Turbo......

..... give the wrong score in the Pommyland Vs Turkey European Cup Final that had been played in Switzerland, and Tubb then turned and gave the Pommy General a 2-finger salute.

 

The Turks and Aussies cheered as one and all buggered off to the pub down by the beach, called the Dardanelle Arms, where the ......

[turboplanner]

......bartender, surprisingly was a young Mavis. She had her teeth then, and managed to serve XXXX with her face uncovered. XXXX had tried to get a footholding in South Africa during the Boer War, but the Boers confiscated the lot and drank it themselves without paying. That's why you never see a South Efrican in a XXXX pub for very long.........