turboplanner

.....and they found out when Turbo, who'd just arrived, shot the top off Cappy's gin bottle to get his attention. The BB shot ripped skin off his thumb and there was blood everywhere. Thay all had a good laugh when they realised the owner of the poky little factory had stitched them all up with worthless product then they walked down the street to have a telephone box conversation with him.

As we know, nothing is as fast as Chinese gossip, and the owner was crapping himself as they arrived. OT, who'd thought he had a winner with the Rooter........

....but CT's voice had become squeaky (like Cappy's) and he was becoming bigger and bigger, and his feet were leaving the ground. Rabbit pelts were falling out of his belt.

The local Chinese, who'd only expected to be having a quiet dinner and were terrified of these Australians, and started .........

....suspension. Bull had been watching all this in disbelief, but when he saw CT floating around the room in a Tutu, he couldn't help himself and called CT a .............

was made of tough fibre and .......

.......booked a Penthouse room at the Peking Duck. Of course it had been renamed the Beijing Duck but the owners doggedly refused to lose their marketing edge and conform to the Gough Whitlam version, just as most Australians didn't sing "girt by sea" to his Anthem.

When the receptionist answered "Mae Wei.." the uncouth O jumped in with "You bet!" so he was allocated a "Trouble Room".....they'd experienced Australians before.

On his first morning .............. 

....Mandarin lessons (CT had decided he might even get lower prices if he bypassed the distributors and dealt directly with the Chinese), and .......

.........caught a flight home to Carlton and her penthouse and Canberra turned the page for the next stranger than fiction act.

In the meantime that sneaky OT had been quietly building up his CAT franchises, the latest one shown here.

He'd misspelt his name of course - we're lucky he didn't us a reverse "t" as well.

The OT Parts all have a pussy stamped on them; implying they have something to do with Caterpillar, and there's a hint of Cat yellow in the logo, but green in case the customers claim parts are knockoffs.

He was going to hang two bull gears above every dealership until  he found that four out of every ten were oval.

Bucyrus Caterpillar would turn in his grave if he saw this.

The section in front is the entry module, styled on an old Arizona Cantina, where someone coming in for a set of grousers or a few pistons is encouraged to linger with the hostesses over a jug of beer. The beer is that rotgut from WA, Swan Lager, so by the time the customer gets to the factory counter, he's lost part of his sight and is shaky at the knees.

The franchise uses the well - known "retired professionals" to steer the customer off what he came in to buy and talk him into some junk that had started to rust.

It was into this process that CT fell when he entered the new Darraweit Guim Onetrak franchise and ...............

......Lidia jumped the rail. It was like a female rooster fight, and the Speaker who had tried saying "Order" several times stode out onto the floor, grabbed two of them by the neck and threw them down the stairs. The visitors in the Hall cheered because they thought this was what went on in Parliament.

"คุณมันโคตรปัญญาอ่อน" screamed Lidia.

Sarah burst into tears and yelled: "........

......to be the news the follwing day as the media tried to piece together what happened.

Lidia had been shouting and pretending to throw spears from the gallery after being banned from the Senate when Jacqie, diplomatically told her to get XXXXXX. Lidia spat back with some language we can't use here  and there was a .........

......the colours of the Republic of India on her fuselage and legs with spats.

It wasn't long before Dave was seen waving from his new kitplane to the  farmers on the oustkirts of the town. He didn't have a Certificate, but hey, nor did anyone else around these parts. One day he had an undercarriage failure on landing. Dave claimed that a willy willy did it, and there was an 87 page discussion on it in WreckFlyne where the conclusion seemed to be that six people were going to Old Station this year.

He ordered the parts; they didn't arrive, so being a politician he demanded to see the owner of the kitplane business who immediately agreed to come down and help him. What Dave didn't know was that no one had ever succeeded in pinning this person down. He had the character of a wombat [A small Australian Marsupial which eats roots and leaves].

An investgative journalist got onto the story that there were no parts available for Australia's new secret Attack Aircraft, and there were questions in the Senate where Sarah broke down in tears. Lidia spat the dummy in the dirt and Jaqui said "XXXXXXX wombat!

Someone asked  "Where are these SHXXboxes being made?" and Dave, in a flash of honesty stuttered C..C..C..C.... but the Senate had risen for the day and ...........

....up with the idea of riveting one end of a bra string to the prop tip and the other just to the side of the spinner.

She looked a little out of  balance at first but the plane flew well and was often seen.....

3 hours ago, Captain said:

..... a Morgan is a Morgan and all you need to build them into a saleable product is a team of carpenters and a warranty policy that puts all liability onto the customer.

 

Dave had been a chippy in his early days so he ......

..took out his No 2 sledge hammer and 20 minutes later he had belted the left side of the aircraft into an aerodynamic shape. The right side had already been given similar treatment by Australia Post.

Next he pulled the rather unusual engine out of its box, hosed the chicken dung off it and it slid on to the mounts smoothly. He knew that a least the four mounting holes had been drilled this time and in the correct position.

Next came the prop, and in 27 languages the attached description said it was CE compliant, and care should be taken when using it indoors.

It only had one blade though..............

'm always there to help, especially if there's some airtime fiull of ads in it.

It had all started when Turbo had seen an add for a cheap Morgan knock-off and figured they could carry four cannisters of napalm if they supercharged the Rotax to suit the high altitudes.

So they went to Dave Marles with the plans and a glowing endorsement from OTRecreational, Chung Ling.

Dave could see no further than how good these would be operating from the new subs due in 40 years time, so he ordered a couple of hundred.

They arrived a couple of days later in cardboard cartons and as Dave undid the shrink wrap on the first pack an instruction sheet fell out. It was printed in 1 pt font, in 63 languages, but not English. That didn't stop Dave; he was from Geelong, but ........

.....managed to get her into the Mustang and give her some chewing gum.

It was about 1 pm the next day that CT noticed the black smoke from the D7 had died away and the ripper was siting up higher (A trained D7 Operator like Turbo would have picked that up during the morning)

This was a sure sign that the tynes had word out.

CT raised the ripper and started scratching the dirt off with a shovel; the tines has completely worn out in 5 hours of operation.

Since OT had given him 5 years warranty on the tynes Ct started unbolting them ready to take photos.

His eye fell on the brand; in place of CAT, it read "888 Gold and Treasure Co, Xuen."

CT picked up the shotgun, got into the Mustang, and five km out of DG was pulled over by the Highway Patrol.

"Good afternoon" said the Officer "Do you have any reason for exceeding the speed limit by 55 km/hr?"

CT started to cry and told him what OT had done to the CAT. "On your way then Sir" the Officer said "and give him an extra charge from me" and they talked Ford for the next half hour.

When CT finally arrived in Onesville, WA he held the ripper tyne up and attempted to ram it down OT's throat, but it snapped in half and they both started to laugh.........

46 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......thought came to mind that a "Singular Root" might also include a square root which is the shape of the rippers for the dozer ......

......and of course by definition, One Track is the collection of sprockets, rollers and grousers on one side of a bulldozer and from there ......

".........very sore after lifting 25 D7s on to the old Bedford, I'm thankfull I'd read that ancient book and learnt how they did it when they built their home from giant rocks."

Both Cappy and Turbo knew that this wasn't the day to question OT, and they knew about the wrath of a WA high flier from being there the day Bob Hawke said to Alan Bond, "Im not going to give you $13 million taxpayer funds for a fool's errand like that har,har,ha OW!, you little XXXX!!!!", and the rest is history.

This morning, hoping for a new day, new mood Turbo served Cappy with some fresh Corn Flakes and Cappy put a shot of Glenfiddoch in OT's hot milk. The air was electric and wasn't in need of a charging station any time soon [topical reference], and into this delicate situation stomped.......

....episode of nervous tension, it's when the great Albert Einstein gets confused about his lines. He of course wasn't a King and never wanted to be, but since, at the age of 3 weeks he had told his mother to get off the booze because she was only giving him 13/16 of the milk he needed to grow fast he had always wanted to push the boundaries of mathematics, or as some people say Matematics.

It was in Grade 1 when his teacher said "Now kiddies, we are going to learn today that one and one makes two" and little Al had said "Not always" that people knew he had a gift, or more precisely the teacher rushed into the staff room at morning tea time and slammed the kettle onto the table, yelling "that XXXXXX Einstein kid is correcting me again!"

These deep thoughts had been started by a bad batch of vindaloo, and Cappy was thinking it was lucky that Bombay No3 curry hadn't been on the menu, when OT walked in, threw his Chinese 888 jacket on the floor, kicked off his No 8 tennis shoes with the yellow soles, flung his Temu watch into the spittoon, and would have taken off his Pleasant Dreams jocks if Turbo hadn't calmed him down with some genuine New Delhi whiskey. Cappy approached him cautiously and asked "..............

Bunnings.

Very good question, I'm hitting the books now.

........the achievements of Benjamin Franklin, Nigel Farage, Albo Einstein and our own AHlocks on the grounds that none of these were digital people who use AI, or copilot.

Ahlocks should be taken out of this equation (see photos of Albo's blackboard), because he still reads social media 14 hours a day, but Mrs AHlocks took his keyboard off him 7 years ago and the great man has been silenced ever since.

Turbo had been talking about this to Albo at a Matematics Convention in Las Vegas, and Albo ran his fingers through his ample white hair and said "......................

.....this could lead to digititis, and issue in computers where there was too much keyboarding, which overloaded the digital system and led to .....

36 minutes ago, KING said:

Like you Stalling and Spinning were part of the PPL syllabus in the UK [thirty+ years ago], however the problem came when the US statistics showed that more people were dying in spin training than actual accidental spins. Power on stalls in the climb can lead to violent wing drops and therefore [bearing in mind many RAA training types aren't spin rated] it seems it is impossible to do anything but thoroughly brief around scenarios that might lead to stalls in the climb, and what to do if God forbid a low hour/non-aerobatic pilot get themselves into that position.

 

For what it's worth my advice to new pilots is to go and do an unusual attitudes/upset recovery course after initial training with an instructor who specialises in that. An FI with limited experience in these matters is more likely to cause problems than solve them IMHO.

There is a long thread on this subject on the site including the different g loads in turns (so there's no point in thinking a single speed is all you need to know; you'll just fall into a stall on a steeper turn and so on; but the biggest consensus was on your suggestion about going for specific training on unusual attitudes/upset recovery and several people did the training and swore by it.

....left digit; a sure sign that he had been......

RC Aircraft.

There's a film on a kid who built one about 40 years ago.

Scaling up is the problem.

.....atreum.

Turbo had been a Junior News Spotter at hthe Bombay Journal before he signed up for the Khyber and now he remembered there  was a controversial lawsuit about a Hindi who had used a similar beard to entice ............

1 hour ago, F10 said:

Yes! In addition, what is the effect of load factor? In a level 60 deg AoB steep turn, you need to hold 2g. To see the load factor effect, take the square root of your 2g load factor (1.4) and multiply 50 Kts Vref by 1.4, that gives you 70 Kts!! So wanging around in tight orbits…better bump up the safety speed! This is an exponential effect. A 4g turn will double your aircraft’s stall speed.

Good information. I learnt the hard way trying to do a 90 deg turn in a Chipmunk.

If the instructor hadn't been on board I would have drilled it into the ground, having no idea of what was happening. Haven't spent the need to demonstrate the 90 deg turn like my uncle demonstrated to me.