turboplanner
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Everything posted by turboplanner
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....spoils of war. Cappy realised OT was making good money. Unfortunately the Cook family DNA kicked in. In the mid 1800s OT's ancestor Benjamin Over Traveller, convict, had scraped together the remains of a wrecked ship and managed to build a small dwelling in Melbourne's Fitzroy Gardens. It was the first BNB to be opended in Melbourne. BOT, as he was called had almost made enough money to pay off his debts, when Captain (doubtful) Josiah Collingwood Cook built a Guest House and included Breakfast and dinner for half BOT's price. BOT was already doing it tough when the soldiers came, and told him to get out of town. "There's gold in the West" one of them said helpfully, but BOT missed Ballarat and finished up in Kalgoorlie, so he had extra travel costs. Captain Cook's guesthouse is still in the gardens today and whenever the City Council tries to bulldoze it or shut it down, mysteriously The Governor herself shows up in her Bentley Sports, and threatens to belt the crap out oof them. So it was no surprise that when OT started making good cash with Hellcat parts and Land Rover lug nuts who shouilld show up but the alleged descendant, out own Captain Cook VII (no bars)........
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......Kununurra? The dapper little figure wearing only a pair of shorts would scurry down Riverfig Av to pick up his "five pounds of pork sausages" then into Coles for the groceries, loading them into the old Landcruiser tray with the old trailer on which sat a Sling with foldup wings like a Corsair Carrier aircraft. He'd patented the hinges which came from track shoes on an old Cat D3 he'd picked up in Dingo. He never told anyone what he was doing or where he was going , but would drive a few K out of town, unload the Sling and search for any yellow CATs or Orange Allis Chalmers. He wouldn't do what all the others did and winch their old 40 tonne find onto a semi which cost $40,000 to get it back to civilisation and another $230,000 in rent by the time he'd sold all the parts. Oh Nooo; The Outback was his storage shed and he only took home the part ordered by his customers. He got a kick out of the free rent courtesy of the land owners and the Commonwealth, and particularly when an old CAT or AC was on Noongar Country. It was ............
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suspect. Some NESsers might be wondering how we've driftered off the av theme and now we can reveal the reason some AUF members can afford new over the top airctraft and others can't; it's the Grammy Method where OT does the cash extraction with his quill, leaving many satisfied but without their millions. Current Affair had been after him for years but (a) the Ch 9 expense account didn't run to WA trips and (b) .........................
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....there was an "O" on one side and a "T" on the other. The crowd....................
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....a pattern that had won the Launceston Show's Sponge Cake Championship year after year. This amazing invention was also partly responsible for Turbine Beef's string of 17 Champions of Show and the annual Longreach Royal Show, Rodeo and Rooster Chase. Turbo's bulls would be trimmed then groomed by the Longreach Hair Salon, and if they dropped a load, Patty, as he was called would move in before the last drip and fashion a beautiful pattern, whereas the other entrants just left the copats as they were. Over the years Turbo often noticed the longing look of the Judge, thinking of his grandma's sponge all covered in patterned cream. That was until the 2023 show when............
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.......decided to set EP up one day. EP could be unpredictable when you flew......just like the Jab, so you had to be ready for anything, but EP always did the same sequence when testing students. Well not always; every tenth student go it reversed, but 9 out of 10 you knew when you were for the cow pat test. The females were tested just the same as the males; EP was a stickler for Diversity. It was time for Pip's test (we can't give you her real name because she went on to a senior position in CASA.) Student Paul secreted himself behind an agreed Gorse bush with a bucket of blood from the local knackery. Sure enoughh EP pulled the cow pat trick. Pip set a trajectory to take here near the gorse bush, and suddenly exclaimed "WHAT WAS THAT BANG!" "What bang?" asked EP who had been reading a newspaper. They circled and there spreadeagled was a person covered in so much blood he was almost certainly dead. They flew back to the strip, jumped in the ute and drove back over the paddock. When they got there the body was gone but in its place were police numbered markers denoting the body and a trail of squashed cow pats. Pip squeezed back a laugh at EP's face ............................
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.......at this, Epaulette snarled and squinted, they way he did if you stuffed up a ground guide where he expected you to use the wet cow pats to glide at 20 mm above the ground for as long as the Jab was prepared to stretch it; the fear of what EP would do to you if you actually touched dirt was ..................
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.....the first person came out of the booth area. "HECKLE! FRECKLE! why so speckle!!!!!!?" asked a shocked Pae Mee Nao. "It's alright for you Spick and Span; where were YOU when the sh!t hit the Fan!!" replied ........
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.....knocking on the door so to speak. Then someone did a search and found a Public Comfort Station up the street and the crew of desperates ran for their life. A couple made the Great Deposit, but the rest, male and female poured recklessly down the stairs where they were greeted by a Chinese Host Pae Mee Nao. It was only a dollar but three of them threw their wallets at him and one male stopped to loan a female a dollar and accidentally dropped his load .............
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....$1 slot toilets where some wag had superglued the slots.......
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If relatives have been traumatised they should contact one of the Public Liability Lawyers before the time runs out. -
.......something different to what we know was on his mind and would soon.......
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.....and the moustache trimmed to a surgeon's accuracy. That piercing look.........
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........those "AviatorSupreme" sunnys ...............
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.....the Delegate from the Upper and Lower Murray Scout Flyers Association walked into the room, straight from the Dairy with his hob nail gum boots gouging the new planed and polished floor. He froze, his mouth open in a rictus of fear. On the screen was a powerpoint slide; on the slide was the back end of a Mutton Bird and on the Mutton Bird was the tattoo of the dreaded Moderati. The Moderati were believed to have died out in the Medieval period when warriors from the Turbine clan put them to the axe, but every now and again one shows up. Loxie was one and Cappy had seen his tattoo but never told anyone. After Loxie was caught with his hand in the biscuit jar at AUF he was never heard from again. Nobody noticed the three small scars under the Dele.gate's left ear, but they noticed he was starting to transform...........
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........the Dress Code Department of AUF to swing into action. There was a strange silence in the AUF office. there were usually long periods of silence; after all how long do you need to spend on the minimum standard of a wheel spat. This however was a STRANGE silence and no one was prepared to go first.................
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......excelled himself in his aviation skills, persuasive teaching methods in Jabirus, and immaculate flying uniform which would make Biggles look like a slob. Only..........
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.......Farmers Association (Aviation Division) Inc in ACT, and someone we all know well by his ..........
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......... make it mandatory to fit Bull Bars to all recreational aircraft and Cessnas (since more Cessnas crash than any other make). A CASA team will be flying around the Country shortly to explain the rationale behind this new CASA initiative, and who should be leading the Education Team but ......................
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....the aileron hinges, or a door latch, or the lower half of the ASI.These things don't get much traction in the NES, but, like the Bus Spotters Association photos of the No 2455 leaving Bondi Station, these things trigger raging arguments within the broader rec flying groups around the country, where it's not the ..........
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Serious damage to the aircraft and the pilot's face, particularly the mutton birds with Horns, and not just that. On rainy days in Tasmanian Flying Clubs there are some amazing stories about what happened when a pilot was hit in the face by mutton bird balls. You never see video of this of course because one minute they're holding their phone filming the approaching mb and the next minute ........
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........run down another Mutton Brid or continue to cross Bass Strait. The rough seas have washed up many recreationat aircraft and the carcases of their pilots onto the beaches of those lonely islands that once were filled with wrecked sailing ships. Many of the aircraft showed traces of feathers on broken screens. The debate raged on for months, some blaming the crashes on not using ESB engine mounts; others adamant that if you used the same windscreen glass as their Cessna 310 there should be no further problems and yet others saying it was all in the allocation of tasks to the Co Pilot at the right time - very excitig posts, but the mutton birds were still circling when the next .....
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........in that millisecond he got anothert one, this time up ..........
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Did all Members here get the memo? Was it sent to the owner of this site for Publication? Was this major change sent to the media, so they could publicise it?
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......quickly snapped back to attention, pushed the screen washer button and cleared the blood and feathers and resolved to pay a lot more The blood is gon in seconds attention. For those NES readers who misunderstood Cappy's term "got one" it refers to Tasmanian Mutton Birds; small birds which fly very fast and nest in burrows like penguins and their density in Tasmania is pretty much the same as mosquitoes on the Murray. The fly into your car, bomb you when you have your best clothes on and out in the bush you're tripping over their burrows every time you go out. Up on the north coast so many shops sell cooked mutton birds that Kentucky Fried Chicken nver managed to get a foothold. Tasmanians talk about them so much that when they say they "got one" everyone knows they either ran over a mutton bird, poured diesel down a mutton bird burrow, shot one, or just caught one and wrung its neck. AUF members, particularly the ones wh love talking about any aspect of an aircraft will be interested to know that everyone flying has installed a screen washer consisting of 6 plastic milk bottles, a 12v hugh speed pump earthed back to the battery, and a screen wiper motor from a 1949 Ford Prefect (there are still plenty on Tasmanian roads) with a Mazda 626 blade. The blood is gone in seconds and ......
