Phil Perry

Please forgive me if I've already posted this Crash Comic episode,. . . Bad one about 2 fatalities in a Yak. . . . I've had a stressful week, ( yeah, even for me, ) Mother in Law died on April Fools day, aged 91, . . .and I've been on suicide watch to make sure the Missus doesn't drink too much Bailey's Irish Cream. . . . . now we've got to wait for the totally overworked Coroner to issue a DC, as, since a bloke called Dr. Harold Shipman murdered a couple of hundred plus elderly patients with varying levels of dementia,. . .the local Doc can no longer issue a DC. . . . .so this is going to go on for another three or four weeks probably. . . . before we can bury the old girl. . .who was possibly the most UNarchetypal Mother In Law on the planet,. . .in that she ALWAYS took MY side of an argument with the Missis,. . . . and had a wicked sense of humour to boot. . . .I must be one of the few blokes in this world who will genuinely and severely miss Mother in Law and her ascerbic wit. . . . . ( wonder why the Wife hasn't got one,. . . . nuther story perhaps. . .)

 

Anyway, I hope that the link works,. . .otherwise just google the bloody thing for heavens sake,. . .are you all disabled . . .?

 

March Bulletin 3/2015

 

 

I think I would have done the same, Phil and I hope I have the sense to stop when I'm no longer capable.I also hope my own time is many years away.

 

Kaz

Thanks for that Kaz,. . .I really hope that I don't come across as a "holier than thou" type twat,. . . . But after spending 25 years as a "safety officer" i've seen things that people just would not believe. . . and I like to inject SOME humour to keep myself sane ( Oh, you think you're sane do you. . . .! ! ! ) My mate, let's call him Geoff,. . .( because that's his name ) cannot accept ANY sort of criticism about ANYTHING THAT HE DOES. I once warned him that he was being scammed when he was about to purchase a classic electric guitar from some wag in the states, that it was obviously a scam, as I had checked out the serial number and Gibson didn't use that type of serial number on Les Paul models,. . .he wouldn't have it,. . .and paid over four thousand quid for a fake, . . . he never admitted it, but I found out from his missus. that he had . . . This is the sort of bloke I'm dealing with. . .

 

I've already had a return email asking me if I would stand up in court and report what I actually KNOW about the guy mentioned above,. . .and I sid that I would. This hurts, . . .as he is a lovely social bloke in ALL other respects, and I've known him as a friend for over 20 years. . .he collects Expensive guitars and fancy cars. . . . and I just WISH. . .that he didn't fly. . . . . . but I cannot be my Brother's keeper. . . . . I've no doubt at all that he will see things through a different lens. . . . . .

 

Phil

 

 

PM. . . . You bugger,. . .I just spit me mouthful of Barossa Valley plonk all over the keyboard. . . . . however,. . .I always thought that "Titillation", described a lady from the Indian sub continent having one breast that wasn't very well. . . . . rather like "Interogation" described a Pakistani person who jumped from one carpet to another. . . . . ?

 

( Inter - rug - asian . . .Geddit ? ? ? )

 

 

Update on the Luscombe Silvaire accident. . .

 

I was informed today, by another pilot / aircraft owner based at the same place as the P1 I've already seriously denigrated above.

 

Two days prior to the described incident, our man was seen attmpting to land at the site he'd been using for nine years, and it took him eight attempts to get the aeroplane onto the runway. Now, to be fair, ( and this hurts. . .) the runway is an absolute bloody nightmare, . . .it measures 625 metres, and is 400 feet amsl.

 

It has three deep dips along it's length, the worst being at least 5 metres deep. so it is basically like landing on a switchback. . . it also has a thick line of pine trees at least sixty / seventy feet high, along it's total length on the West side . . . making any landing when there is a wind of more than around ten knots from the West a complete bloody nightmare, befcause of the evil rotor it creates. . . but nonetheless, the guy had operated from there for nearly a decade. Upon his seventh attempt, he was witnessed to be at least 200ft above the threshold,. . .appearing to have completely lost the plot with regard to judgement of height. . . .and on a familiar runway. . . ?

 

His final attempt resulted in him landing in the rough cropped corn, 10 metres to the left of the runway, and slewing the aircraft around 180 degrees before chopping the mags.

 

I've learned also, that he wrecked a friend's Jodel 115 by flipping it over onto it's back on the same runway in absolutely nil - wind condx ( opposite direction, but that is irellevant ) and blaming a "Crosswind Gust " . . . ?

 

I appears that whatever "Mechanical handling skills" he MAY have posessed, are completely gone following his stroke, and he should be barred from any further light aeroplane flying,. . . on his Reval ( which isn't a Flight Test as such, just a one hour flight with an instructor ) he failed to land on the main runway at Tatenhill ( Egbm ) which is tarmac, 860 x 20 metres. . . and planted it in the crop next door. . . in HIS OWN AIRCRAFT . . . yet they still stamped his logbook ( ? ? ? ? )

 

I have never done this before, but have today, contacted CAA flight safety, on their anonymous reports line, ( And Identified myself too ! ) and reported what I personally KNOW, and what has been said, and suggested that they make sure he has a thorough flight test with a CAA flight examiner ( Which he will NOT pass IMHO ) before he is allowed to fly again. I feel really bad about this, but knowing the bloke's record, he doesn't seem to have improved his commonsense at all since he nearly killed me years ago.

 

Sorry to bore you all with this, and NO,. . . .I'm not doing it expecting my back to be slapped for being a "Good, Safety Officer wallah" either. the only reason I'm posting this is to hope that, if you know anyone, mate or not, who is a similar candidate, . . then don't leave it until they kill themselves, or more importantly, an innocent passenger who might be overawed by their self belief in their virtually non existent skills. . . before you put them in.

 

Phil the Grass. ( Don't tell me what you've bin doing, as I'll probably dob yer in. . .)

 

 

 

I went to register a new project in London today, and I entered the lift of this huge building at the same time as the lady above.

 

I was a bit confused by the very hi-tech lift controls, and she said, in a sexy sort of way. . . . "Never mind that, Just press any one ? " . . .so I did.

 

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I woke up in hospital several hours later, but the Doctor says I should be OK in a few days. . . . . .Geez. . . .

 

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Bagging our ex service people again? It's the pollies who make the rules and we elect them. Who do you blame for the budget overruns in health, welfare, local council etc etc. Do they all have ex RAAF staff or is it perhaps an in built function of public service bureaucracy?

It certainly IS public service beaurocracy in ALL departments in the UK , with their seemingly inbuilt belief that money grows on trees. . . .

 

 

Yeah,. . . I've seen it before too. Sorry. ( slinks away into the woods. . .)

 

 

Here's some political humour from one of the few Australians I know who Isn't an aviator !

 

The other day I needed to go to the public hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID patch that I had made from a picture the Internet ,onto the front of my jacket...

 

 

 

When I went into the hospital, I noticed that Half of the people

 

got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

 

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service:

 

 

 

It also works at Centrelink. It saved me 2 hours.

 

 

 

Don't try it at a McDonald's though..... The whole staff disappeared and I never got my order! !

 

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A Texan redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was

 

Close to giving Birth.

 

Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him,

 

“Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets,

 

Five healthy baby boys."

 

The redneck said,

 

 

 

"I'm not surprised nurse, between you and me,. . .

 

my manhood is the size of a factory chimney. "

 

The nurse replied,

 

" Well, . . . you might consider getting it Swept then. . .

 

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They’re all black."

 

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The Grumman American Tiger is not bad. With a castoring nosewheel, I have 360'd one on the taxiway at Bankstown (when there was no other traffic on that taxiway). Just stand on one brake and round she goes.

I used to rent one of those at Moorabbin, nice aeroplane. . . but occasionally the nosewheel would shimmy quite badly on landing, so the nosewheel had to be held off the tarmac for as long as physically possible to prevent it shaking yer dentures out. . . . ( should do that anyway . . .I know. . .I know. . ) ** And before some wag says it first. . . "probably because the wheel should be at the back, not the front. . ."

 

 

Phil, I hope the cab heater was not the style that tended to kill people with fumes if the exhaust broke?

No, it used hot coolant from the engine circuit through a very small aluminium Mini heater radiator, with a 130mm 12 volt computer fan blowing through it. No exhaust involved, it worked, but on the very coldest days the engine, ( 582 oil injected bluetop ) being totally exposed on top of the fuse tube, had enough of a job keeping sufficient temperature itself for normal running. . . if the heater was used, the flydat showed that the normal operating temp was not being achieved . . . so we removed it . . .worked really well in the summer though ( ! ! )

 

Phil

 

 

Yeah it is the nature of the beast to an extent. But some blokes take it several steps too far. That gets tiring after a few hours.

Sorry to keep hanging on your coat tails Dutch, . . . . but I guess it could be VERY tiring if you are getting the crap from a Captain,. . . .but if it's coming from a subordinate, then I would invoke a favourite Australian saying I learned well when there,. . . . PYHI. ( Pull yer 'ead in . . . ) It's now a popular vernacular item at my local airfield.

 

 

Ok, sentimentally, the AT115 Victa Airtourer.

I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments PA,. . . I have, thus far, NEVER found an aircraft that could turn 360 deg. in such a small space.

 

Mind you, that was on the ground at Berwick, when I forgot to untie one of the wingtip ropes on VH-RSI from the ground anchor. . . . .

 

 

Pretty much all the female pilots I've flown with are a hell of a lot nicer to work with than a number of the male ones. They certainly don't overwhelm you with arrogance and loud opinionated obnoxiousness like a number of my male colleagues do!

Never had a ( Lady ) commercial First Officer Dutch,. . . but surely it's just the nature of the gentle beast ? Ladies are ( normally ) not brash and macho. . . . OK, I know ONE. . .Lady FI who CAN be,. . .but not all the time ! ! Not only that, . . .I've flown with a lady pilot in the right seat whilst ferrying, and I have to say, that, even on a long leg, they DO smell a lot better, and don't argue with me ! ! !

 

 

It appears that all the advantages of 19 .... are gone and all of the restrictions remain? Not used for training etc. You can build a crap heap but you cannot improve one, that someone else built. Bad as GA, where you can't even fit a friction mechanism to the throttle. unkess yiu are young enough to spend the years getting the change approved Nev

Friction nut on a throttle assembly Nev ? ? ? Not a chance !!

 

Here in the UK, if you own a factory built, like a PA28 ( a friend does ) it is illegal to change a bulb in a wingtip nav light, even with the correct and approved type. He was recently quoted £647.00 plus 20% VAT to change three nav lights and a landing light bulb ( Globe ? can't remember if they were called that in Aust. ) . . . now obviously, some will say, hang on, . . where do you draw the line ?. . but my mate changed his own bulbs/globes with those recommended by the manufacturers agent,. . . and the total cost was thirty four quid. . . .yes, this was not correct, and I've seen the posts by those who operate aircraft repair outfits, ( tyre replacement - last year ? ? ? ) but why oh why do they have to charge such exorbitant fees for less than half an hour's work I wonder . . . Incidentally, matey is a veteran auto-electrician. ( yeah. . .I KNOW ! ) flying from his own farm strip. . . I can't, in all conscience, cast the first stone,. . . I realise that this example is only very slightly aligned with the thread, but we've covered "Alleged" over charging by authorised maintenance staff before . . . . so Gawd only knows what you would be charged for "sensible" mods on homebuilt aircraft types here if a similar situation to MARAP ever arises . . .

 

As a brief example, our X'Air build group made some advances to the BMAA to alter the wheel braking system on the aircraft to include toe brakes on the right hand side,. . . . we never got it through, after exhaustive trying. . . even though the kit manufacturers in Bangalore agreed that it was a good idea for instuctor use, even though it was not legal to actually train ab initio on the type. . . people do need checking out in it !. I designed a simple cabin heater for the same aircraft ( it gets a bit chilly here. . . ) but this was approved without any problems, BUT . . .the modification was restricted to that ONE AIRCRAFT ALONE. ( ? ) No, I don't understand either.

 

Best of luck with your system anyway,. . .hope it produces some useful changes. Phil

 

 

Pitts

Pitts ? I hope that wasn't your answer regarding what the X'Air is like to fly ! ! !

 

 

Marsupial meat is different from placental mammal meat in its composition and response to the heat of cooking - much like fish is different from chicken. Marsupial meat will toughen if overcooked, that's why the recommended best cooking method is a short exposure to high heat. Cook it for as long as you would cook a filet of fish. (If you are a Scot, you can batter it and then deep fry it!)OME

Tell you what mate. . . this forum is full of useful Gen. . . . . . . Thanks for that, this explains Bryon's cooking timer, 1000 - 2000 - etc. . . . and also why I usually tenderise me roo before cooking it ! ! !

 

By the way,. . I usually don't eat Placenta,. . . although my 2 Brothers tell me that the reason I don't look like them, is nothing to do with Mother's extramarital dalliances, but that when I was born, they accidentally chucked away the baby, and brought up the placenta instead. . . .this must be why, when I was born,. . .the midwife took one look and slapped me mum instead.

 

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My very good friend Paul W. said that he tried a similar trick ( not on April 1st though ) in an aircraft called an Avid Flyer. . .if you don't heave the type in Oz,. . it's a bit of a Denney Kitfox lookalike, ie, two seat side by side seating Microlight ( 450 Kgs ) high wing taildragger with doped fabric covering. It has a slightly smaller wingspan than the marque 2 and 3 kitfox types, and a 582 Rotax 2 stroke engine. Paul had agreed to check fly the aircraft following it's successful permit inspection ( LAA ) why, I don't know, as he'd never flown one . . .which was why I had declined. ( sensible coward ? ) If you have zero time in a type, then you have no business check flying it for quite a large number of reasons which should be obvious. ( especially if you have only recently converted to fixed wing from a PPL(H).

 

On takeoff, the attachment bolt connecting the left support strut to the trailing edge area of the wing - broke. Fortunately for him, the front attachment to the other strut didn't. But this allowed the wing to twist slightly upward at the trailing edge, producing an uncontrolleable left turn moment.

 

The aircraft came down into a deeply ploughed field adjacent to the airstrip' striking the field in a shallow angle with the left wingtip, which took most of the impact, but forced the wing spar tube left to right through the cockpit, over Paul's head, and into the right side of the cabin.

 

He said he'd deliberately done this, but . . .weeeeeell. . . .I don't see how, with virtually no roll authority. Had there been anyone in the right seat, they would almost certainly have had their head removed by the spar tube. I have ribbed him mercilessly about this every time he starts a bragging excercise about his latest flying escapade. . . . I'm amazed he still pays for my curries on a Wednesday night ! ! ! *** Incidentally, some of you will remember I've posted this story before,. . . so I'm not losing me marbles,. . .it just seemed apt, with regard to OMEs post !

 

 

It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is good natured political humor from a show on Canadian TV, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton.

 

"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton!"

 

He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President!

 

*He played the sax.

 

*He smoked weed.

 

*He had his way with ugly white women.

 

*Even now? Look at him ... His wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

 

*Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America 's shelves this week with " Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a sausage in hot water.

 

*Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

 

*When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

 

*The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

 

*Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.

 

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Phil,If you want to enjoy roo, the best way is to buy a fillet, slice it into thin steaks 1/4 inch thick, marinate in red wine and garlic, throw it on a hot BBQ, count 1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000 turn it over, count the same again take it off and enjoy

Ps you can marinate it overnight and it still tastes great

Sorry Bryon,. . . saw your post yesterday and asked my local butcher bloke if he had any roo in stock,. . .he didn't, but sais he'll have some on Easter Saturday. He's going to dice it up nice and thin for me so I'll report back with my critique later. . . . . by the way, I don't like my steak oozing blood,. . .like it well done. I know, I know, . .my personal trainer says I ought to grab the cow, wipe it's ar$e, and ram it between a couple of bread vans, . . . . or cook it for forty seconds until it's nice and blue,. . . but I really DO prefer it cooked thru. Phil

 

*** Edited to add*** I suppose being 'Roo,. . .the red wine would have to be Australian ? ? ?

 

 

I totally agree, Nev. Life expectancy for the average person might have already peaked. I'm sure lots of health freaks will live to great ages, but too many people are suffering an epidemic of inactivity and crap food.

Every day, whilst reading the couple of dailies ( Those that I can be botheered with ) there is almost always a NEW Medical revelation to slow down something or other related to ageing,. . .today it's WALNUTS. Yes folks, if you eat a "handful" of walnuts every day, this will really slow down and in some instances even arrest brain cell degradation ! . . . these things are usually accredited to research by some hitherto unknown university or other in the U.S., . . .like the unverssity of bogshite in West Carolina . . . this one says that the active ingredient in walnuts is a particular type of Fatty Acid. . . well that's a GOOD start for me anyway. . . I wonder if this treatment will cure my Daughter's nut allergy. . . . . .

 

 

Traffic jam in Toorak mate ? ? ? Geez,. . I thought the proles were not allowed to drive thru there,. . when I lived in Vermont ( abt 26k out from Melb. central in the Eastern suburbs ) I thought that Toorak was exclusively populated by TV moguls, other Rich Luvvies and Pollies. . . . .?

 

OK on Benarby, . . .is your airfield comfotably nearby I wonder,. . .mind you. I used to drive quite a distance to fly at Casey Airfield at Berwick, and didn't mind that at all !! Much more friendly place than Moorabbin back then . . . I'll have to reload Goggle Earth onto this lappie and have a look around OZ to bring back fond memories ! Phil

 

 

I'm not paying to get into Wales mate ! Anyway, I don't have to use a toll bridge in order to get to my mobile home on the Welsh Coast,. . .as I approach from a different geographic angle . . . Just drifting slightly back onto thread a bit,. . . . I read an article this morning by an elderly aviation writer ( obviously ) who described the international kneejerk reaction to "Cockpit crew toliet ideas" as being much"Engarboyled" . . . . .

 

ENGARBOYLE ? . . . . Interesting word, . .not in a current dictionary, I found it in one of Mother's old word reference works from her schooldays in the late 1930s . . Olde Englishe word, long out of use, meaning "To cause obfuscation, argument and much confusion over simple matters " [ Verb ] so perhaps we should refrain from further engarboylement of this subject ? ?

 

I rather like that word. . . we ought to petition Oxford Dictionaries to resurrect that one eh ?

 

 

 

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..As he was checking a used car lot,

 

he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car..

 

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?

 

'Heavens no, we bought it.'

 

'Then why don't you drive it away.'

 

We can't drive.'

 

Then why did you buy it?'

 

'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ......so we're just waiting.

 

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Well, now what a handsome looking. . . . . . . .glass of red ned you've got there mate, is that a 500ml glass ?