The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... Fuel dump housing. Bull was a lonely man, he had a conscience. He knew he had to dump fuel along the east coast and all over the Great Barrier Reef [Make the Barrier Reef Great Again (MAGBRGA ref], but that was his job.  He told himself he kept the Wolfe Blass for his sanity, but ....

..... there had been periods of blackness (or more correctly, a strange dirty darkness) in his life, where a Wolf Blass black or grey label did the trick, and while he was not a member of AA, he did belong to the AUF and WF, the MAGBRGA, & the Prawn Trawler's Cooperative Council (PTCC) so he was forced to mix with quite a few card carrying piss-pots, some of whom (Turbo and Onesie ref) are Grange drinkers and think that Wolf Blass's finest (before the TWE takeover [Often referred to as the Turbine Wine Estate, although the ownership is cleverly masked]) was ....

Edited February 24 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........not quite as good as it used to be. It had a vaguely familiar taint to it.   Bull swilled it around in his mouth, in the effeminate way of the wine industry where they would cover up cat's..................and suddenly he knew what the odour was. He'd been walking around the original Turbine Rood's Bay cat farm and nearly coked on the stench of cat ..........

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........not quite as good as it used to be. It had a vaguely familiar taint to it.   Bull swilled it around in his mouth, in the effeminate way of the wine industry where they would cover up cat's..................and suddenly he knew what the odour was. He'd been walking around the original Turbine Rood's Bay cat farm and nearly coked on the stench of cat ..........

.... so he spat the wine out, like the wine p@0fters do, but he was sitting in the Jackoff at the time and he missed the spittoon that he always keeps between the rudder pedals, often laughingly referred to as a barffoon, as an upchuck is almost impossible to resist when bull is in PIO (sorry pio) mode and when he exceeds 4Gs, the juices start flowing.

 

To settle his stomach bull took another swig of Grey Label and thought about his favourite pussy in order to quell the stench.

 

Then he realised that he was in that fatal lifestyle spiral of good grog, visits to "Cat Farms" (see below photo) .... and that, Dear Readers, is what Turbo has been referring to all along in his thousands of promotional references in the NES .... where Tubb is now competing with The Wizz to be Melbournistan's premier Cat Farm proprietor, because it is similar to his experience at .......

 

[turboplanner]

......the Playful Pussy in Toorak.

This was Turbo's first investment at the age of 14.

We thank Cappy for providing a copy of the Grand Opening.

Cappy of course didn't make it, being in the grips of Devil Gin at that time. He got on the tram Ok, but wasn't seen to get off in Toorak. They found him in Swanston St curled up on the roof of the tram, fast asleep and it took........

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......the Playful Pussy in Toorak.

This was Turbo's first investment at the age of 14.

We thank Cappy for providing a copy of the Grand Opening.

Cappy of course didn't make it, being in the grips of Devil Gin at that time. He got on the tram Ok, but wasn't seen to get off in Toorak. They found him in Swanston St curled up on the roof of the tram, fast asleep and it took........

..... 3 more trips around the city on route 64 before he woke up (on route 64 all tram riders need to be very quiet & still while passing thru Moorabbin pending a machete attack), but Cappy remained on the roof as the tram approached Flagstaff, and he was still clutching the bottle of the demon Gin, but as he rolled over and stretched his legs, one touched the live overhead wire and a bolt of electricity passed along his ......

Edited Wednesday at 09:35 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........axis, causing him to jolt, and that threw the

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........axis, causing him to jolt, and that threw the

... axis into a state of flux, and let me assure all readers that there was "flux" all over the joint, even running down the windows of the tram.

 

After the jolt he could not roll (avref) or get himself vertical (avref), so with great effort and coordination (avref) he .....

[turboplanner]

.........went into a dive [avref] and landed [avref] on the lawn of the St. Kilda Boulevard.

A Police Officer [CASA avref] approached him and asked.................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........went into a dive [avref] and landed [avref] on the lawn of the St. Kilda Boulevard.

A Police Officer [CASA avref] approached him and asked.................

.... do you have the latest issue map of this region and in particular of the Henry St and Peel St area?

 

He thought quickly, as he always did, and responded "I bought the March 2026 edition this morning, and i was familiarizing myself with the latest updates over a coffee and croissant, so the coffee shop dog must have taken it".

 

The Walloper (CASA ref) pressed the issue in the regulatory firm way that CASA Johnnies do and said ".....

Edited Friday at 07:22 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

"I'm required to advise you................"   but Cappy who became skilled at dealing with the Indians of Bombay who were pushy little pricks, cut him off with a "Gotta Go, due to CASA Rule 738 Clause 67, Para 242"   All the Walloper could do was nod - he tried to remember that ref, but without his book he was lost. The experienced Cappy had known that without their books they were toothless. Have the old kite [Biggles ref] WOT and ........

 

Cappy's reference to the coffee shop dog is interesting. Normally he doesn't release his family history. Cappy in his Kapoo (as it was then) Primary School days once used the excuse "My dog ate my homework." and the saying went round the world. 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"I'm required to advise you................"   but Cappy who became skilled at dealing with the Indians of Bombay who were pushy little pricks, cut him off with a "Gotta Go, due to CASA Rule 738 Clause 67, Para 242"   All the Walloper could do was nod - he tried to remember that ref, but without his book he was lost. The experienced Cappy had known that without their books they were toothless. Have the old kite [Biggles ref] WOT and ........

 

Cappy's reference to the coffee shop dog is interesting. Normally he doesn't release his family history. Cappy in his Kapoo (as it was then) Primary School days once used the excuse "My dog ate my homework." and the saying went round the world. 

..... this, Dear Readers is where the NES gets a bit confusing.

 

Is Turbs referring to the verb "to Kite" meaning to fraudulently float cheques, which is something that Turbs did to Cappy when Tubb was a little low on funds while up the Khyber, after which Cappy has always gone guarantor for all of his best mate's business ventures .... or is he referring to one of Cappy's favourite shapes, being a quadrilateral with two pairs of equal adjacent sides, & one axis of symmetry.

 

The answer was simple, as usual, because .......

 

It is little known that 'The dog ate my homework" is still registered and licensed to Crappy under the law of common domain, and each time the phrase is used, even when Vladimir does so in the Kremlin, Cappy is paid twice per usage what Bob Dylon receives from Spotify each time one of his songs are played. A nice little earner and hence why he always buys the dog a Puppychino when he is down in Lygon St with Mick and a few of the crew.

Edited Friday at 10:00 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....aquadrilateral, two pairs of adjacent sides, one axis of symmetry can be connected to expressions in linear equations which can be projected via calculus using known examples divide by unknown expressions and divided by the sum of lines less duplications and multiplied by the sum of the vertical plane minus the sum of the horizontal plane divided by the constant 3454697467869 to get a square, and........

[Captain]

.... a "square" is the opposite of cool dudes like Turbo and bull, who have lived their lives doing things that are the opposite of being a square.

 

Back in the cool days of the 60s and 70s, bull was a Mod (who had indecent thoughts about Dinah Lee), and Turbo was a Rocker (who had crushes on Little Pattie & Judy Stone) {and still has}, yet they both owned Vespas and used to hang out at their local .....

 

Dinah

 

Judy

 

Little

[turboplanner]

.....hairdressing bar.

Turbo was a fan of Warwick Capper and needed to have his long blond hair done every day. In those days he flew a Flight Star Spyder, with the doors off to show his brief shorts and.............. 

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... hairdressing bar.

Turbo was a fan of Warwick Capper and needed to have his long blond hair done every day. In those days he flew a Flight Star Spyder, with the doors off to show his brief shorts and ....

..... as all NES regular readers already know, Turbo and Cappy were best mates throughout this entire period (they were Coffee every day in Lygon St type mates) and Cappy can attest as to the look that Turbo perfected throughout the period when the Wizz had his high profile in footy (see pics below) ... (although I must confess that I think that Turbo signing mistaken identity Wizz autographs for little kids was going a little bit too far).

 

Turbo today has changed a little bit, although he has aged well, yet he still has rockstar status in sectors of Melbournistan society (Turbo is like a caucasian and younger version of Mick Gatto) and still receives free tucka at all Lygon St restaurants, plus there is a permanent reserved parking spot for the 'Vette in the centre of the restaurant strip down there.

 

Turbo loves that life, did well to heed Cappy's advice to stay out of Liberal politics when they tried to draft him in to lead the party, and as my best mate of over 60 years I know that he is much better than that, and ......

 

In photos taken by Cappy during that period, the Wizz is on the right, and a young Turbo is on the left ..... although I do think that Turbs added blonde hair pieces, plastic chains & a Cappy sized codpiece for the photos.

 

Edited 8 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

........more importantly he'd kept the Flight Star Spyder.  It's shown here in the Spratleys with the tie down trap half off, just about ready for a beach takeoff. Chairman XI had lleft it with a flat tyre and half-eaten Maccas Spicy burger in it. Cappy and Turbo call him Hi -  Chee on the weekends away. His dream is top own a Maccas. They don't mind the flat tyres - Hi-Chee brings the booze and ................