The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...they all turned to each other and started saying "We didn't realise that" Eventually with sone prodding........

.... ,"sone" being a Mesopotamian word meaning "a few" or "several", and 1st discovered by Turbine Archaeology when they broke the Cuneoform writing code using Turbine AI.

 

'We don't need no stinking AI" said a TA spokesman "As we have access to the great man himself & he broke the code before smoko, + quicker than that gay dude played by Bendabit Cumabatch, at Bletchley Park, before he .....

Edited 8 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

11 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... ,"sone" being a Mesopotamian word meaning "a few" or "several", and 1st discovered by Turbine Archaeology when they broke the Cuneoform writing code using Turbine AI.

 

'We don't need no stinking AI" said a TA spokesman "As we have access to the great man himself & he broke the code before smoko, + quicker than that gay dude played by Bendabit Cumabatch, at Bletchley Park, before he .....

 

...."came out" as a male. Not many people know that Bletchley Park was the beginning of Women's Lib; it took decades to catch on because they all spent their time gossiping instead of breaking codes; Ben was brilliant but in a weak moment showed them the algorithm to beat men, and that wrecked it for everyone. Why.........

 

 

 

NES reader will have noted Cappy's instant recognition when Turbo occasionally drops into his ancestral language; he's like a seagull on a potato chip.

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

NES reader will have noted Cappy's instant recognition when Turbo occasionally drops into his ancestral language; he's like a seagull on a potato chip.

it is also little known, Dear Readers, that it was a direct anticedent of Turbo's who was the 1st Hunter-Gatherer to ever grow wheat, hence the origin of Turbine-Tip Top, which in the Mesopotamian lingo means Toasty White Bread.

 

Turbo also got into strife at school for writing on clay with little wedges and for telling rude jokes in Aramaic. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

Turbo also got into strife at school for writing on clay with little wedges and for telling rude jokes in Aramaic. 

Below, Dear Readers, is one of my most precious possessions, having been given to me by Turbo when we were both about 13.

It contains the nursery-rhyme "Mary Had a Little Goat" in his own cuneiform hand/wedge writing, plus a filthy ditty from an old story from one of Turbo's towelhead ancestors, about a dirty weekend away in Babylon.

As you can see, they really knew how to play up in those days ..... and where the myth about 72 virgins got started.

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

NES readers will notice about halfway up from the bottom and just to the right of centre, a recessed circle which Turbo drew freehand when he was 13. It marks the start of a Quatrain "The boy stood on the burning deck, a pocket full of crackers, a spark went down his trouser leg and blew off both his"... and that's the edge of the tablet.

 

..............Ben did that has had people scratching their heads for years, and one day we may ........

[onetrack]

.......discover the algorithm that enables men to understand what a woman is saying, whenever she says, "Whatever!"

 

However good Turbo was on the clay tablets speed-writing - something he would never admit to, is that OT would beat him every time at the clay tablet speed-writing contests.

 

OT would have his tablet fully inscribed, baked in the sun, and presented to the teacher, while Turbo was still pressing circles in his tablet.

 

It was this constant losing to OT that make Turbo chuck a hissy fit, and start smashing his tablets whenever he lost. Then one day, Cappy said to him, "I'm bored. Chuck one of your wasted tablets up in the air, and lets see if I can hit it with my shotty!".

 

Turbo did so, and Cappy (ever the Dead-Eye Dick), blew it apart in one smooth swing and shot from his 12ga under and over. They were both greatly enamoured by the sound of the clay tablet blowing apart, and what fun it was to keep doing it (because Turbo had plenty of stuffed-up clay tablets on hand, most of which confused the heck out of archaeologists).

 

Thus, dear NES readers, was born the sport of clay target shooting. Naturally, Turbine Inc promptly registered the name, "Clay Tablet Shooting", but then Turbo was disappointed when the clubs that sprang up, called it "Clay Target Shooting", thus depriving Turbine Inc of vast royalties, and leading to Turbo becoming annoyed at the people who had stolen his..................