turboplanner Posted December 29, 2025 Posted December 29, 2025 .......belt driven shotgun. It's first pass was a success because the crew stopped and gasped at the Drifter's squiggly bits, and that's when [insert pilotname] unleashed its Prawn "oil" straight down the hatch. The crew came out out of there like a .......................
Captain Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 (edited) 15 minutes ago, turboplanner said: .......belt driven shotgun. It's first pass was a success because the crew stopped and gasped at the Drifter's squiggly bits, and that's when [insert pilotname] unleashed its Prawn "oil" straight down the hatch. The crew came out out of there like a ... ... wad from a belt driven shotgun. The RSM, who was responsible for the adjudication of the war games, insisted that a bit of pongy prawn juice would not a surrender make, so forced the crew back inside while regaling them with stories from up the Khyber, where prawn oil was used by the troops to put behind their ears when they went into town, and they ..... Edited December 30, 2025 by Captain 1
turboplanner Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 ......appeared to be very thankful for it the next morning when ........ 1
Captain Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 12 minutes ago, turboplanner said: ......appeared to be very thankful for it the next morning when ........ .... the smell of the prawn oil was the least of their worries, after the itch kicked in, and a 5 mile root march was planned over to ... 1
turboplanner Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 ...............the Noongar boundary at Point Malcolm where the RSM had the thought bubble that they should walk the Noongar boundary like the Noongars did. Not many people know that the Noongars were the last tribe to arrive in Australia, stepping off the boat some time after 1974. Their story was that WA consisted of nothing but dry wasteland, but one night in Pradaya Kesh, the Rainbow Serpent called in and said he'd just irrigated WA and they should give it a try, so they walked over and claimed the area after fighting off the 12 surprised tribes who had lived there for 4,000 years. The dedicated warriors walked their boundary from Port Malcolm to Geraldton to keep the Easterners out, and soon had made a lot of money and these days drove the new Corvette E-Rays. After a big breakfast the troops marched out of Port Malcolm, and with the help of helicopter food and water drops, arrived in Geraldton 246 hours later. Waiting for them there was General ................. 1
Captain Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 (edited) 2 hours ago, turboplanner said: .. the Rainbow Serpent called in and said he'd just irrigated WA and they should give it a try, so they walked over and claimed the area after fighting off the 12 surprised tribes who had lived there for 4,000 years. The dedicated warriors walked their boundary from Port Malcolm to Geraldton to keep the Easterners out, and soon had made a lot of money and these days drove the new Corvette E-Rays. After a big breakfast the troops marched out of Port Malcolm, and with the help of helicopter food and water drops, arrived in Geraldton 246 hours later. Waiting for them there was General ...... ..... Quarters being played by a lone AI based robot bugler, who was better than a normal bugler and never got that high-note bit wrong that human buglers always do. Now, it is little known that WA is "all-in" on the green revolution and that is because most WA citizens have only ever seen that range of dull and crappy ochre colors, so green was THE new thing. So in line with the Corvette E-rays, the Rainbow E-Serpent had taken over as the lead robot/automaton based mythical animal, all the Choppers were E-Helicopters (and were starting to dot the landscape as they ran out of electrons and there was no charging station nearby), and one of WA's leading entrepreneurs had formed Onesie's E-Con-glomerate (which is more Con than Glom ..... he would have called it X, but that was taken), comprising E-Dozers (the D11-100%E is a cracker), E-Thrusters, E-Boomerangs, E-Witchety-Grubs and E-Water. The only issue is that WA has bugger-all power generation, but the ever-optimistic Onesie just saw that barrier as an opportunity and started the E-Electricity Company with which he would make the eastern states Green with E-Envy, and he would ..... Edited December 30, 2025 by Captain 1
Captain Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 (edited) Onesie, AKA "The WA Ling Ling", has his latest best quality, special price, you like my seester, E-Excavator in operation throughout WA, he sold thousands of the buggers and is now almost constantly falling off his wallet. https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17iTPRi5Fb/ Edited December 30, 2025 by Captain 1
Captain Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 (edited) BEST WISHES FOR 2026 FROM CRAPPY TO OUR THOUSANDS OF NES READERS ..... AND PARTICULARLY TO EEEEAN, WON-TRACK, bull, AND THE TURGID- PLONKER. IT HAS BEEN FUN AND LET'S HOPE THAT WE ALL SURVIVE THE NEXT 12 MONTHS. JUST 48 MORE PAGES AND WE'LL PASS 1000, SO NO-WUCKERS. Edited December 31, 2025 by Captain 1 1
turboplanner Posted January 1 Posted January 1 4 hours ago, Captain said: BEST WISHES FOR 2026 FROM CRAPPY TO OUR THOUSANDS OF NES READERS ..... AND PARTICULARLY TO EEEEAN, WON-TRACK, bull, AND THE TURGID- PLONKER. IT HAS BEEN FUN AND LET'S HOPE THAT WE ALL SURVIVE THE NEXT 12 MONTHS. JUST 48 MORE PAGES AND WE'LL PASS 1000, SO NO-WUCKERS. 1
Captain Posted January 1 Posted January 1 (edited) 5 hours ago, turboplanner said: Is this a subtle sign that that homme, Michael Vos, will be coaching again in Melbournistan for Turbine AFL Pty Ltd this year? Edited January 1 by Captain
turboplanner Posted January 1 Posted January 1 2 hours ago, Captain said: Is this a subtle sign that that homme, Michael Vos, will be coaching again in Melbournistan for Turbine AFL Pty Ltd this year? Maybe, but we may need him in Turbine's Turbo Ice Hockey team.
turboplanner Posted January 1 Posted January 1 ........possibly become the main E-Spruiker and beat that little squirt the Electric Bone before he ..........
Captain Posted January 1 Posted January 1 11 hours ago, turboplanner said: ........possibly become the main E-Spruiker and beat that little squirt the Electric Bone before he .......... .... take up his plum job as the main spokesman for Jazzi at the next election, which we all know is completely controlled in Vicmanistan by the law firms of Turbine, Putin & Maduro Ltd, and their main competition of Turbine, Qi & sons. This battle of the legal titans is sure to be ...... 1
turboplanner Posted January 1 Posted January 1 ....interesting because at the latest Christmas Dinner, Turbo mildly intimated that Jazzi couldn't get enough coins together to buy an ice cream, and Jaw Bone as he is called in the Great Southern State has made electricity more expensive than buying a car. Joseph Galbally Turbine KC AO threw a turkey leg at Turbo, misses and hit the wife of Alastair Wynne Turbine KC (Launceston), right in the ......... 1
Captain Posted January 2 Posted January 2 18 hours ago, turboplanner said: ....interesting because at the latest Christmas Dinner, Turbo mildly intimated that Jazzi couldn't get enough coins together to buy an ice cream, and Jaw Bone as he is called in the Great Southern State has made electricity more expensive than buying a car. Joseph Galbally Turbine KC AO threw a turkey leg at Turbo, misses and hit the wife of Alastair Wynne Turbine KC (Launceston), right in the ......... .... brief (Lawyer-insider-joke). "Actually, not only did it hit me in the brief (continuation-of insider-lawyer-joke)" responded Mrs AWT "The turkey leg hit me right in the gusset, making that the 1st time that I have ever ....... 1
Captain Posted January 2 Posted January 2 (edited) It is little known that Turbo and the rest of the King's Counsels have always retained a child-like innocence and when Turbo saw the turkey leg hit Alastair's missus in the gusset, he yelled "Food Fight" and lobbed a plate of mashed potato at Joey. The tables erupted and never before had everyone had so much fun at The Australian Club, particularly when the reception was for Prince of Wales and his bit of Fluff. But Bill and Kate joined straight in and targeted Turbo, the most well-known, most highly qualified, & well-heeled, of all of the attendees, with a well-executed crossfire of pavlova. Then, while nobody was watching, Kate sauntered up to Turbo in a highly provocative & sultry manner, and said, in a stuck-up pommy accent "I'll show you my scar if you'll show me yours". Edited January 2 by Captain 1
Captain Posted January 2 Posted January 2 1 hour ago, Captain said: "I'll show you my scar if you'll show me yours". Then she added, in an even more alluring tone "Teach me all I need to know about "Strategy". 1
turboplanner Posted January 3 Posted January 3 7 hours ago, Captain said: .... brief (Lawyer-insider-joke). "Actually, not only did it hit me in the brief (continuation-of insider-lawyer-joke)" responded Mrs AWT "The turkey leg hit me right in the gusset, making that the 1st time that I have ever ....... .......been gussetted. Cappy gave her that look that says "You look like you've tried that before" and she hit him in the teeth with a bronze griffon. Cappy ........ 7 hours ago, Captain said: 1
turboplanner Posted January 3 Posted January 3 5 hours ago, Captain said: Then she added, in an even more alluring tone "Teach me all I need to know about "Strategy". Turbo sat here down and told her he'd had a long talk with Chuck Yeager at a recent air show, and he had asked chuck how to handle strategy. Over many cups of coffee Chuck tried to explain the process, while struggling with his accent. He covered the the Sound Barrier, the Bell Flights where he became the fastest man on earth, the dat=y when he lost his footing and fell out of the B52, missing the X-1, and landing in puddle of salt. He then went on to tell Turbo about the breakthroughs of the U-2. "You had to manage it carefully up to 20,000 feet and then you could relax until you started flying in the strategy, and you had to be on the ball then." Chuck had said. Turbo turned to her then and said "The future of all flying is in the strategy" and they both walked slowly inside. 1
Captain Posted January 3 Posted January 3 23 minutes ago, turboplanner said: ...been gussetted. Cappy gave her that look that says "You look like you've tried that before" and she hit him in the teeth with a bronze griffon. Cappy, ........ .... via his PhD in Griffon Archaeology was fortunately able to identify this particular bronze griffon as one that had been stolen from the 3rd dynasty tomb of TutanTurbine, by the renowned archaeologist Light-Fingers Wilson, and had been transported into Vicmanistan as payment of a debt. That meant that ...... 1
Captain Posted January 3 Posted January 3 25 minutes ago, turboplanner said: "You had to manage it carefully up to 20,000 feet and then you could relax until you started flying in the strategy, and you had to be on the ball then." Chuck had said. Turbo turned to her then and said "The future of all flying is in the strategy" and they both walked slowly inside. Where Kate was heard to utter the term "WTF?" To which Bill replied "FAFO" and the room went silent. "Wowee. Bill must have taken a job up in the Pilbara" postulated Alastair. 1
turboplanner Posted January 3 Posted January 3 3 hours ago, Captain said: .... via his PhD in Griffon Archaeology was fortunately able to identify this particular bronze griffon as one that had been stolen from the 3rd dynasty tomb of TutanTurbine, by the renowned archaeologist Light-Fingers Wilson, and had been transported into Vicmanistan as payment of a debt. That meant that ...... CT Archaeological Investigators had been called in to trace this asset of National value. CT were feared throughout the Archaeology Logistics business because they had a bad habit of shooting first, with their 360 Magnums, and leaving the questions for later. Light-Fingers had a gambling habit and sniffed cocaine, in common with most Victorians of that time (2025) it must be said. Many people know that Tutan-Turbine's tomb had been discovered by the renowned archaeologist Howie Carter-Cook. A hack-Archaeologist really; he had studied under Prof. Priscilla Dessert in Bombay when it still had a University. There was a lot of rumour about the Griffin, but Howie would ply them with Bombay No7 and they'd wake up lying in the street with lipstick all over their face and lose interest in any further questioning. As a result the Griffon, cast in 1969 was said to be authentic, but ...... 1
onetrack Posted January 3 Posted January 3 .....the authenticity came into question when a $2 shop price sticker was found on the base of the bronze griffon. Further probing revealed the only bronze part of the bronze griffon that was actually bronze, was the paint it was coated with. Under the bronze paint was cast aluminium and a stamped marking that said "Hindustan Aluminium Castings - made from the finest scavenged household utensils in all of India". This discovery then led to a round of incriminations, with the finger pointing at Howie Carter-Cook - who vehemently denied any knowledge of cheap, imitation bronze griffons, cast in aluminium in the backstreets of Mumbai (note the correct name, Turbo still lives in his glory days of the 1890's) - and being sold as genuine finds from the tomb of Tutan-Turbine. The ramifications of this discovery went through the archaelogical world like a dose of Epsom Salts - especially when it was found that a Bronze Griffin in the British Museum, long reputed to be a genuine Tutan-Turbine artifact, had a $2 shop price sticker on it, too. This was all too much for the renowned archaeologist, Sir Edmund Fosdyke Wuntrack, who was famous for his previously unknown role in uncovering the Piltdown man hoax. Not a lot of people realised that Wuntrack (an uncle of Onetrack) was now on the trail of a certain archaelogical faker, who mostly appeared to be based in an area near Wagga Wagga - and who claimed to be able to find amazing archaelogical artifacts in diverse places, such as Kapooka, Moorabbin, and even Gobbagombalin. This claim raised eyebrows until it was revealed that the faker had......... 1
turboplanner Posted January 3 Posted January 3 ............discredited the family. Sir Edmund's brother had made millions on his Tipperary Station, and returned to England. A chance liaison with a barmaid named Smythe produced a son, Rhyce Wuntrak-Smythe, who btw married a local BNS belle Ethel Cook, the daughter of you know who. It was found that the only academic schooling provided to Rhyce came from the Balham pub, and he had landed in Australia as a Jackaroo (not that Jackaroo). Here he had met up with crackers bull, and they developed the lucrative artifact business run out of the National Gallery in Melbourne. Sir Edmund didn't know this until CT Archaeological Investigators reported that their ace investigator, Bill Weston Smythe VC had plugged a fake Archaeologist in his bronze from 300 yards with his 362 hand gun, and that's when ............... 1
bull Posted January 4 Posted January 4 On 01/01/2026 at 6:06 AM, Captain said: BEST WISHES FOR 2026 FROM CRAPPY TO OUR THOUSANDS OF NES READERS ..... AND PARTICULARLY TO EEEEAN, WON-TRACK, bull, AND THE TURGID- PLONKER. IT HAS BEEN FUN AND LET'S HOPE THAT WE ALL SURVIVE THE NEXT 12 MONTHS. JUST 48 MORE PAGES AND WE'LL PASS 1000, SO NO-WUCKERS. What,s with the lower case mate??? ps,Happy New Year to you all from Bull and co.
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