The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....canteen and locked the doors. "This is no better than Delhi" said on, and another chimed in with "at least we got hot chappadys there" and Raj with a freckle under his eye said "we better decide a vote before .........

 

All inhabitants from the subcontinent were trained in British democracy. Wotrack wasn't.

 

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....canteen and locked the doors. "This is no better than Delhi" said on, and another chimed in with "at least we got hot chappadys there" and Raj with a freckle under his eye said "we better decide a vote before .......

..... Lord Stamer locks us up then sends us to fight in Ukraine, don't ya know".

 

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

All inhabitants from the subcontinent were trained in British democracy. Wotrack wasn't.

Wotrack on the other hand was a staunch believer in the republic and his right to free speech (and concessionally priced CAT parts).

 

The differences between Raj and Won couldn't have been more stark (cricketerref) and with Wontrack also being licensed to open carry (where he favoured a 50 cal Desert Eagle ["A big-old pistol made by bad-ass Hebrews" ... as the song says]) tucked into his belt below his ample stomach.

 

Raj didn't like his odds and he .....

 

https://youtu.be/5nMDmNcvPE0?si=QYpvVstwQHUlX-5S

Edited December 10, 2025 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....decided to make a quiet and respectful appeal to Wotrak the Indian way.

 

By now many Nessers will have seen the floorshow where, anywhere on the main routes of Australia, Raj will fill up his Volvo with 2100 litres of diesel, find that the fleet owner is out of credit and then when that's been finally settled. having walked in to the disrespectful name "Pie Face" is handed his pie stone cold.

 

The Union Representative tried to settle the food issue, but Raj went ballistic and the others were excited by this and decided to give anyone who looked like management a good whipping with their rattan cane.........

[onetrack]

.......over the lack of good Indian curries, Rogan Josh, Murgh Makhani, Murgh Kari, Chana Masala, Palak Paneer, Dal Makhani, Rajma Chawal and of course, not forgetting Beef Vindaloo, in Pie Face outlets.

It was only after managers promised to get rid of the pies, and deliver the curries, that the beatings stopped. But for now, the truck drivers would have to find a suitable Indian cafe selling proper chaat.

 

After search, aided by numerous Uber and DiDi drivers, the truck drivers were re-directed to the taxi drivers favourite spot - which place could be easily found by the overwhelming goat, rabbit and curry smells that ran for several blocks. The rabbit was for the Claypot Chicken, of course - but naturally, it was all marked "chicken" in big barrels, and nobody even dared to mouth the word "rabbit" near the kitchen.

 

The Raj truck drivers blocked all the local streets with badly-parked trucks, while they all traipsed in and placed their orders. But it wasn't long before an officious-looking gent in a uniform and peaked cap, asked............

 

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

nobody even dared to mouth the word "rabbit" near the kitchen.

The Raj truck drivers blocked all the local streets with badly-parked trucks, while they all traipsed in and placed their orders. But it wasn't long before an officious-looking gent in a uniform and peaked cap, asked....

..... "Why does this rabbit have a fluffy tail, claws and a bell on a collar that says "My name is Tiddles"?"

 

And with those 3 simple questions, he had discovered what subsequently became known as "The Great Turdbine Cat disguised as Bunny disguised as Chicken Scam", which is but one reason why Turbo, in disgrace, had the red dot ceremonially & forcibly removed from his forehead using H2SO4, in a .....

Edited December 10, 2025 by Captain

[turboplanner]

form of chemical castration, which is illegal in Australia because Albo has declared the country, with a Chairman Xi-like edict that Chemicals are banned in Australia. None of his cabinet picked up the meaning of "Chemicals"

 

Because of this, Turbo was able to have the sub continentals charged with "Possess Chemical or Chemicals in a Public Place which had happened to be the Grong Grong Public Hall on the Newell Highway.

 

The NSW Police Highway Patrol were running the case, having booked 350 B Doubles illegally "Parked on a Highway", all with the first name "Raj", all with the paper International Driver Licence and all in Australia on Student Visas, so Immigration had to be called in as well. All were charged also with "Racism" by the Department of Gender (and they were fanatics that made CASA look like a Christmas Carol CWA group of 80 yo farmers' mothers. Turbo was represented by Benjamin Cook and Partners Law (that the partners were all female and came from Kings Cross wasn't disclosed). The case sensationally started ..........

 

The Beef Vindaloo was so savage that the Toilets were booked out three months ahead, and Raj McCurry installed a convenient touch pad in each so the payment of $500.00 for use could be made quickly.

 

For the benefit of NES readers unfamiliar with driver licences, the International driver's licence does not require the tedious Australian requirement to have driver training or any experience in a car. This was how Eryl  Waggot won dash cam of the week with his video of Raj parking his B Double with the A Trailer in front of and the B Trailer behind, a European Refugee made Mini Cooper adorned with multiple stripes that somewhat resembled the Union Jack.

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was represented by Benjamin Cook and Partners Law (that the partners were all female and came from Kings Cross wasn't disclosed). The case sensationally started .......

 ..... with Turbo and 3 of the Kings Cross Partners working on the details of his Statement in a private setting while making what would eventually be regarded as an improvement on the Shane Warne videos, as after all, everything needs to be recorded accurately when you are preparing a Statement and with Turbo having similar appetites & being the fine Shane-like physical specimen that he is, who can blame the KC Partners for wanting that little bit of extra .....

Edited December 10, 2025 by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Because of this, Turbo was able to have the sub continentals charged with "Possess Chemical or Chemicals in a Public Place which had happened to be the Grong Grong Public Hall on the Newell Highway.

The NSW Police Highway Patrol were running the case, having booked 350 B Doubles illegally "Parked on a Highway", all with the first name "Raj", all with the paper International Driver Licence and all in Australia on Student Visas, ......

It is little known by our interstate and international NESers that Grongy has long been the spiritual home of the Australian Indian Community and the Grongy Regional University has done a fine job edumacating them via their Student Visa program.

 

GRU regularly (always) achieves a 100% pass rate and produces more PhD's than Harvard.

It is well recognised that a "Grongy FuD", as they are called in the business community, is a sure-fire line to trucking success and the GRU is located on a sprawling 800 sq.m campus adjacent to the Grongy Water Treatment Plant.

 

A recent AI search has also disclosed that Raj is the most popular baby's name in NSW, for both boys and girls.

 

In response to several taunts by other envious NSW country towns, the Lord Mayor of Grongy has today issued a statement denying any similarity with what has happened in the Somali community in Minnesota. "It is just a coincidence that there are so many Autistic kids here too, cobber" said Raj Wilson.

 

Postscript .... Cappy has recently been approached by several Commanche and Sioux families who applied to get their brightest kiddies into GRU and were knocked back. I will be taking this up with the GRU Chancellor, Raj Dean.

Edited December 10, 2025 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Grongy's GRU

 

 

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Grongy's GRU

Thanks for your excellent post, as always, Turbo.

 

I had not realised that the GRU had added a 2nd level since I was last out there to unblock the dunny, a long-drop which is hidden behind the green dorms and snooker rooms. (As all NESers would know, it is not easy for Rajs to block a long drop, so it was not the most pleasant of jobs).

 

PS .... Cappy has added another 1.5 Stars to the Motel sign after he bought the site, which he did as a blocking move, as the GRU will surely need to expand and cappy will then have them by the short and curlys.

Edited December 10, 2025 by Captain

[onetrack]

.............tuition in the fine legal art of screwing clients with no physical contact. However, the part of the prosecutors statement that raised eyebrows in the courtroom was the part that said, "Raj Withasmaran is charged with decorating his truck in the most un-Australian manner, with tassels, beads, images, symbols and signage, that not only blights our roads and dazzles other motorists, but these decorations are also illegal, unsafe and offensive to any transport inspector that patrols the Highways of Australia."

 

"Furthermore, the logbooks are being filled out in Hindi, which is an offence under Section 14, Part 3, Sub-part 7 (a), Clause 17 (c) of the Heavy Vehicle National Law, which section states that.............

 

(Dear NES'ers, further to the excellent photo posted by Turbo of one of Cappys finest motels, one has to add a photo of Raj Witharmarans heavily disguised Kenworth, traversing the Grong Grong Bypass on the Newell, with a load that is also raising suspicion amongst Transport Inspectors, due to its apparent illegality......)

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....tuition in the fine legal art of screwing clients with no physical contact. However, the part of the prosecutors statement that raised eyebrows in the courtroom was the part that said, "Raj Withasmaran is charged with decorating his truck in the most un-Australian manner, with tassels, beads, images, symbols and signage, that not only blights our roads and dazzles other motorists, but these decorations are also illegal, unsafe and offensive to any transport inspector that patrols the Highways of Australia."

Dear readers of the vintage of most AUFers will appreciate that the decoration WAS in a "most un-Australian manner" however these days the decoration shown in Onesie's photo are now standard in 5 suburbs in Sydney and 8 in Melbournistan.

 

It's still 1975 in both Qld and WA so the Iphone won't be released for another 32 years, and they will be fine for a while.

Edited December 11, 2025 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........log books are not for writing "Oh my goodness, had close one there" or please to Mr inspection for accepting hundred dollar bill even more and look forward to good curry at Gilgandra."

 

OneTrack is on the money with that photo because that's a new Kenworth K220 Raj with full auto transmission after most of the trial truck Roadrangers finished up on the ground with the Raj still hanging on for grim death.

 

The Australian truckies started to lose money and turned on ....

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Australian truckies started to lose money and turned on ....

.... Albo, who had changed his name to Raj, and his latest wife, Rajeena, because they .....

[bull]

7 hours ago, Captain said:

.... Albo, who had changed his name to Raj, and his latest wife, Rajeena, because they .....

.......had changed religion so they now had to......

[onetrack]

.......worship at the altar of wooden gods, rather than worshipping at the altar of Saint Thomas More. Albo had always thought that the "More" actually stood for his renumeration, and was quite surprised after many years of worshipping, to find that Saint Thomas More was actually a politician himself.

 

But furthermore, when Albo found out that Thomas More had lost his head in politics, he decided it was a far wiser move to change religion, and worship wooden gods instead.

 

However, there was the constant problem of splinters when worshipping wooden gods, so Albo set out to....................................

 

[turboplanner]

...........do the same as he'd done for the coal industry.

He told the Parliament that wood was no good; it caused splinters.

Almost overnight seven hundred Wood Scientists applied for and were given hundred thousand dollar  Grants from Australian Universities for papers on the "scourge" of wood, and the powerful Wood Industry, whose Chairman CT Wood was always rabbiting on about how wood saved us money.

 

In the Cabinet Room, Albo explained how everyone was getting splinters from wood and it had to stop, and he, the mighty Albo, who had, in his eyes, surpassed the Great Gough and the Little Crier, and he instructed all Ministers to erase wood from any future constructions or industry.

 

Paper disappeared almost overnight and ........

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

In the Cabinet Room, Albo explained how everyone was getting splinters from wood and it had to stop, and he, the mighty Albo, who had, in his eyes, surpassed the Great Gough and the Little Crier, and he instructed all Ministers to erase wood from any future constructions or industry.

 

Paper disappeared almost overnight and ......

.... little Chrissy Bowen was put in charge of free-felling all native forests across our great brown land (well, it would be once all the trees had been cut down, air dried, piled up & burnt).

 

In response to a lucrative contract, Turbine Land Clearing took their D12's and 2000 m long chains and applied their mallee clearing practices to all of the planted forests, and soon pine trees were horizontal and looking like the aftereffects of the Mt St Helens eruption.

 

"It is so much better without trees" said Albo/Raj to Rajeena as it's so much easier to see the horizon (avref), and as he stood on the verandah of his waterfront joint on the NSW mid nth coast he came up with the slogan for the next election "From the mountains to the sea, Skippies will be Free .......... of trees, Koalas and .........

 

TLC did a great job on the pine trees throughout Mextoria, see below photo.

"Cop that" said Turbo as his cleanup crew prepared to knock down those few recalcitrant sticks that were still standing ....... and to also tap any remaining koalas, wombats or sugar gliders on the head with their repurposed Seal Clubs.

[turboplanner]

...me.

It was a slip up but the cleaner had heard him and she phoned the ABC and a reporter ..............

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...me.

It was a slip up but the cleaner had heard him and she phoned the ABC and a reporter ....

..... so the ABC immediately categorised him as an anti LJBTQMRS, trans hating, Rotax loving, Nazi, fascist, Trump lover, whereas the Reporter was undercover from Pravdah and .....

[Captain]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

Turbine Land Clearing took their D12's and 2000 m long chains and applied their mallee clearing practices

Their new and effective internet advertising slogan is "De-tree the planet with TLC".

[onetrack]

......was intent on a more attention-grabbing headline. He found it, when Turbo sought out and found the biggest root around - and it was something that Turbo had been looking for, ever since he was a pimply-faced 14 yr old, reading those naughty "girlie" books in the thunderbox, that all contained pictures of near-naked girls.

 

Once Turbo found his biggest and best root in the Mallee, he had to put it on display - and the Pravda journalist was absolutely delighted to produce the following photo, along with the story about how Turbo had........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........found the root by accident at a BNS ball in Booligal.

 

Turbo was out of his territory after Deniliquin where he sat in on the "Biggest Boopers" and "Circle Work Championships along with Bush Dancing but Booligal was simply wild with no rules, no limits and in some cases no clothes. 

 

As NES readers know, Turbo is a kindly person and he drove off into the bush, found a massive Mallee Root and towed it back on to the lawn in front of the Marquee, ready to light it up to keep the people warm.

 

It was a group from Dimboola who started talking about it, taking photos and bringing out their tapes, and just as Turbo threw a 200 litre drum of diesel on it, they all screamed not to light it up; it was a world record root.

 

Turbo grinned modestly and ...........................

[onetrack]

......said, "This is nothing, compared to some of the roots I've dug up, at past B&S Balls! Some of them, I needed at least a dozen additional blokes, to help me get....................

[turboplanner]

.......it in position.

There's always someone with a camera or a tape and ............