The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.......which scours them out.

 

Onesie had been observing the Turbine Industries policies for some years now, and without telling Turbo he had been quietly experimenting with leveraged industries of his own.

 

He'd picked WA sand as the base product because it was free.

 

Bouyed up by the way WASAND cleaned dags off sheep, he decided to start on women.

 

As we know, after a cerain age, a woman's skin is like sandpaper, and Onesie in doing the research noted that a makeup mix of sand and cement and a flesh coloured dye, gave a woman's face a glistening 17 year old appearance.

 

There were a few bugs to sort out of course but it was looking .........

 

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As we know, after a cerain age, a woman's skin is like sandpaper, and Onesie in doing the research noted that a makeup mix of sand and cement and a flesh coloured dye, gave a woman's face a glistening 17 year old appearance.

 

There were a few bugs to sort out of course but it was looking .........

..... & feeling like a cross between SpakFilla and cheap Indonesian margarine, but well packaged with a map of WA on the label, which of course was ......

[turboplanner]

.........associated by most with the scrawny cattle of the Pilbara which were grey with humps on their back.

This didn't go down well with the latte sets of Point Piper or South Yarra who were quick to ask One-Skin Ltd what percentage of their staff were female and that's when the .............................

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This didn't go down well with the latte sets of Point Piper or South Yarra who were quick to ask One-Skin Ltd what percentage of their staff were female and that's when the ........

...... shocking facts started to come out, as while it might have been acceptable on a bore-run in the wilds of WA, the Male/Female mix within the OSL conglomerate meant that ......

Edited October 24 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......there had to be a sizeable number of LBGTQIA employees involved. But when a Workplace investigation was commenced, it was found that Thai Ladyboys made up the majority of the workforce (the factory was based in Thailand of course, to keep costs down), and this was all fully approved by the investigators, as they sampled the delights of Thai Ladyboys and Thai bars during the

investigation.

Amazingly, somehow, Cappy managed to wangle his way into the OSL investigation team - and once he found out that Ladyboys were involved, the rest of the team had to drag him away from the.........

[turboplanner]

.....Invesigation, which prolonged the new policy needed, which goit every sector up in arms, which.........

 

Note: Onesie shows an amazing knowledge of  Ladyboys - just sayin.

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.....Invesigation, which prolonged the new policy needed, which goit every sector up in arms, which.........

..... gave Cappy no way to get rid of his container of ping-pong balls, except to ......

[bull]

6 hours ago, Captain said:

..... gave Cappy no way to get rid of his container of ping-pong balls, except to ......

.slowly flush them down his toilet..by morning he was happy having tossed in the last final bucket of balls! Unbeknownst to Cappy the balls where causing chaos down town by blocking the sewerage system until the pressure built up and then exploded out of gutters/manholes/toilet seats and every other air vent in the city! Faeces was pouring into.................

[turboplanner]

.........Perth downtown streets, it must be said, substantially improving the ambient odors in this city. Ping pong balls were floating down the Swan River for months, substantially improving that desolate view south. A lone float-equipped Thruster [avref] was taking off out in the middle when..........................

 

[Captain]

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Perth downtown streets, it must be said, substantially improving the ambient odors in this city. Ping pong balls were floating down the Swan River for months, substantially improving that desolate view south. A lone float-equipped Thruster [avref] was taking off out in the middle when..........................

 

..... the Pilot (avref) saw the Swan River covered in white ping Pong balls (including a couple that seemed to have been used) and wondered whether ......

 

NES Comments - It is wonderful that the NES can seamlessly allow the literary license that is needed to accommodate the fact that Cappy's 40 ft container full of ping pong balls was located in a suburb of Bangkok close to the Nightclub District, yet the balls have been released on the Swan River.

 

When Turbo wrote about Ping Pong Balls, this was not a reference to Penny Wong, and hers. 

Edited October 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........he realised he wasn't on the Swan River, but the Nightclub Creek in Bangkok.

As he was referring to the Magenta Line on his GPS, which had turned red because it was upside down, he heard vvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVRROOOOOOOOOOOOOM! as a little Thai guy on a surfboard powered by a 320 hp Kawasaki went past, shorting his GPS

He would have to fly by memory; he was a practical sort of ........................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........he realised he wasn't on the Swan River, but the Nightclub Creek in Bangkok.

As he was referring to the Magenta Line on his GPS, which had turned red because it was upside down, he heard vvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVRROOOOOOOOOOOOOM! as a little Thai guy on a surfboard powered by a 320 hp Kawasaki went past, shorting his GPS

He would have to fly by memory; he was a practical sort of ........................

..... a Skippy pilot (avref) who flew by the numbers (not). (He likes 6, prefers 7 and hates 13)

 

"If I can see it I can hit it" he would say then add "unless of course I am p1ssed ..... but I don't mean "hit it" as in collide, I just mean that I can get there, and a little bit of upsy downsy flying just makes it all the more worthwhile ........... plus Thailand doesn't have a CASA or NTSB so it's all great freedom, fun and ......

[Captain]

Note Tubb's Thailand reference above.

 

It is not commonly known that after quitting Speedway at the top of his heap, Turbo went to Thailand and entered a series of Drag Races (and a couple of Straight races too).

 

Here is one of his better efforts and the Thruster was just out of screen at stage left.

 

It was Turdy that almost hit the Thruster, (but don't tell anyone).

 

PS - His Evinrudes met a similar fate out on Port Phillip Bay (PPB).

 

 

 

Edited October 26 by Captain

[bull]

On 26/10/2025 at 4:03 AM, Captain said:

NES Comments - It is wonderful that the NES can seamlessly allow the literary license that is needed to accommodate the fact that Cappy's 40 ft container full of ping pong balls was located in a suburb of Bangkok close to the Nightclub District, yet the balls have been released on the Swan River.

 

When Turbo wrote about Ping Pong Balls, this was not a reference to Penny Wong, and hers.

Such is the vast and wonderful world of the Never Ending Story,,!!!

[Captain]

12 hours ago, bull said:

Such is the vast and wonderful world of the Never Ending Story,,!!!

And hence, even greater literary heights await. (I am told by a reliable source that the Nobel Literary Awards are watching the NES like a hawk, with the award being prepared and as of 6 am this morning, the letters Onetr have already been engraved on the medal).

Edited October 27 by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 minutes ago, Captain said:

And hence, even greater literary heights await. (I am told by a reliable source that the Nobel Literary Awards are watching the NES like a hawk and the letters Onetr have already been engraved on the medal).

The only hold up is whether to use the Nordic spelling "eck" or "ack".

As we all know "trek" implies qualities of boldness, braveness; the qualities of the Vikings who invaded every corner of Britain and fiexd au the women. (Even Turbo is 15% Viking DNA)

 

The problem was that Lars Larssen was on the Tribunal which made the Nobel decisions. Lars and his brother Knud Bransson had been on an outback trip in a hired  Fiat Motorhome and decided to shoot up the Gunbarrel Highway for a look; they fuelled up in the Alice and sure enough there they were without food and water, and barely alive when our old mate OT flashed by in his MAN with 8 tonnes of Cat parts on the back and just yanked on his air horn. They traced his registration number.

 

[turboplanner]

..........!!!!!!! and the 2.3 million NES readers were left hanging by this profound statement of bull's. Deep; the NES has two of the deepest authors in the literary world; people who would put Rudyard Kipling to shame.

Talking of Rudyard Kipling who lived in Bombay, he and Cappy were at an illegal Mongoose fight when ..............................

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........!!!!!!! and the 2.3 million NES readers were left hanging by this profound statement of bull's. Deep; the NES has two of the deepest authors in the literary world; people who would put Rudyard Kipling to shame.

Talking of Rudyard Kipling who lived in Bombay, he and Cappy were at an illegal Mongoose fight when ..............................

..... Rudyard whipped it out, as all of the Kipplings were prone to do, and the Mongoose saw an opportunity to .......

[Captain]

40 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The only hold up is whether to use the Nordic spelling "eck" or "ack".

As we all know "trek" implies qualities of boldness, braveness; the qualities of the Vikings who invaded every corner of Britain and fiexd au the women. (Even Turbo is 15% Viking DNA)

 

The problem was that Lars Larssen was on the Tribunal which made the Nobel decisions. Lars and his brother Knud Bransson had been on an outback trip in a hired  Fiat Motorhome and decided to shoot up the Gunbarrel Highway for a look; they fuelled up in the Alice and sure enough there they were without food and water, and barely alive when our old mate OT flashed by in his MAN with 8 tonnes of Cat parts on the back and just yanked on his air horn. They traced his registration number.

But the truck was stolen just like the Cat parts.

 

When traced, the plates were off a white Toyota Camry called "Bubbles".

 

With regard to Turbo's "Confessions of a Part Viking" (soon to be made into a podcast, so you can be bored aurally too), it is little known that those horned helmets of the Vikings actually disguised the fact that Vikings had fair dinkum horns (and some even had a small tail). With Turbs only being 15% he only had 1 horn when Cappy 1st met him and it was Cappy who dehorned him with a pair of K-mart bolt cutters, while Turbo bravely sucked on his 2nd bottle of pain killer rum (he whined a but we got 'er done), but let me assure you that while his language was blue, his blood is not, and was all over the joint.

Edited October 27 by Captain

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... Rudyard whipped it out, as all of the Kipplings were prone to do, and the Mongoose saw an opportunity to .......

 

[turboplanner]

.......bite off more than it could chew which then led to..................

[Captain]

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......bite off more than it could chew which then led to..................

..... somebody filming it, which went viral on the interweb to Rudyard's further pain, and the Mongoose was offered his own podcast (by the Joe Robine Company), and it was proposed that the podcast be called ".....

[turboplanner]

Mongoose on the Bite - The True.........

 

 

Don't tell anyone, because it might embarrass him, but there was a rat plague in Bombay while Cappy was in residence.  The Mongoose kills rats faster than it kills Cobras, so he decided to buy a pair, but at the Kapooka Primary School the little Cook was never taught the plural of Mongoose, so he wrote to the Mongoose Sales Co, Delhi, saying "Please send me a Mongoose, and while you're at it please add another one"

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Don't tell anyone, because it might embarrass him, but there was a rat plague in Bombay while Cappy was in residence.  The Mongoose kills rats faster than it kills Cobras, so he decided to buy a pair, but at the Kapooka Primary School the little Cook was never taught the plural of Mongoose, so he wrote to the Mongoose Sales Co, Delhi, saying "Please send me a Mongoose, and while you're at it please add another one"

Through the magic of the interweb we, through IA, now know that the plural of Mongoose is either Mongi or Mongeece, depending on which school of Classics you attended.

[Captain]

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Mongoose on the Bite - The True.......

..... story of Kip getting a Nip on his Tip" (name registered thru Turbine Copyright Company).

 

(Nobu saw that and though he was getting a reprise on the NES).

 

The podcast world went crazy for details about Rud (his mates called him Rudy) and the audience went ......

Edited October 27 by Captain