The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

wak on these white coats with a pair of blue examination gloves on our hands and just stroll in like we belong and then, ......

..... using the converted dentist's chair with the new stirrups welded on, which bull always takes with him for such occasions, he invited ..... 

[turboplanner]

.....to come and receive dental treatment which had never been practiced in Panama before. Bull and his son raked in a fortune with that dentist chair, and soon the had a row of 32 dental chairs and a coffee shop. Bull taught Mexicans the fine art of dentistry so there was no problem there, and they sold the rotten extracted teeth to the Shamans of the Rain forest, telling the Shamans they'd chopped up and eaten the Panamanians but were practising sustainable dentistry. The Shamans didn't know what that was but paid for them in gold and ......

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Bull taught Mexicans the fine art of dentistry so there was no problem there, and they sold the rotten extracted teeth to the Shamans of the Rain forest, telling the Shamans they'd chopped up and eaten the Panamanians but were practising sustainable dentistry. The Shamans didn't know what that was but paid for them in gold and ......

..... that was a shame for the Shaman. [bull stevens is soon to release "shame for the sharman" on a new album, which is sung to the tune of Tea for the Tillerman].

 

bull immediately sparked up and said "hola, old mate, so what's ya name and where did you get that useless yellow stuff from?".

 

"My name is Dr Twiggy Sharman and I have been digging for that yellow stuff using a Panamanian government subsidy, which I am about to declare to have been a failure, so that they will consider the pesos (they are actually called Balboas in Panama, but Peso sound more romantic) as p1ssed up against the wall and I will then absorb the company into my 407K3 pension fund which is administered by the Guna Accounting Corporation (the GAC) that is based in the tax free San Blas Islands.

 

"well" said bull "you seem very well set up and have obviously taken some good advice."

 

"No sh1t, Sherlock" replied Twiggy.

 

"what is your cost of production?' asked bull, probing for all of the good data.

 

"Bugger all" replied Twiggy "As we use underage orphans from Colombia and they .......

 

Below are all of the Board member administrators of Twiggy's 407K3, with 2 new Colombian mine workers. The Board members look after the kiddies until they stop whinging about the conditions down in the pit.

(Note how Twiggy Shaman has always been progressive & ahead of his time by the quota of females on his Board).

Edited October 17 by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

Twiggy has just given me a call and NESers will be pleased to hear that the Colombian kiddie, seen in this picture on the right, has acclimatized well and just 8 days after joining the mining crew, he has this week been promoted to the position of foreman. He is a born leader, and production has increased as a result.

Edited October 17 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........work 18 hours a day if promised a PS5 when he digs up 50,000 tonnes.

The trouble, surprisingly, didn't come from the Columbian orphans; it came from the mistake of allowing the quota of 10% females to be exceeded, something labor governments, like Victoria are grappling with. Labor set a minimum standard of 50% females and then more were added on the basis that the standard didn't say they couldn't. Then they started dressing up and appearing on the TV news each night pretending that they had been building bridges all day. In this case the women started dressing up as miners, but although they were mine managers, they didn't really know what miners did, and it came to a head when they sent sixty million tonnes of 18 mm crushed rock to the Chinese who had ordered uranium. Cappy's friend Chairman XI who was already miffed at Trump being touted as the "World's peacemaker", putting their attack on Taiwan off for ANOTHER year picked up the phone to his little friend Albo and blew........................

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy's friend Chairman XI who was already miffed at Trump being touted as the "World's peacemaker", putting their attack on Taiwan off for ANOTHER year picked up the phone to his little friend Albo and blew.......

..... him a kiss, then made a hand gesture which suggested that Albo might be a w.......

[turboplanner]

well-needed friend in this time when the other countries were baring their a.........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

well-needed friend in this time when the other countries were baring their a.........

..... ppreciably formidable fangs, while others were just barring up for a ......

[turboplanner]

......6 bar session of old timers featuring Roy Turbine and Buck Cook with assistance from One-string Track and bull horns.

 

Fortunately this was taped. The music come towards the end because Roy and Buck couldn't decide whether to extend it to 12 bars, but you get the idea.

 

Next thing RCA were on the line .........

 

 

 

[Captain]

51 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Next thing RCA were on the line ........

.... as Nipper the RCA dog had just strangled one over beside the phonograph and they didn't want Roy or Chet to step in it (but they didn't seem to care too much about One-string or bull, although bull, who had the nose of a beagle [in both sensitivity and appearance] then quietly said to One-string "geez louise onesie, did you do that?").

 

Roy and Chet carefully ......

 

 

Here is Nipper, pretending that he hadn't done it over the back in the shade behind the gramophone. But he does look thinner.

Edited October 18 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......played several more bars to cover up the sound of three more of Nipper's deposits, and they were never heard when the records were pressed.

 

Not many people know that RCA were involved in the original Space Program, before NASA started the BS of measuring CO2 on Mount Mauna Loa, an active volcano which is a gigantic CO2 producer. What RCA did is still classified, but when NASA decided to put an animal up in space, RCA volunteered to send Nipper, and as far as we know he's still up there farting and dropping parcels ..........

 

 

 

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Not many people know that RCA were involved in the original Space Program, before NASA started the BS of measuring CO2 on Mount Mauna Loa, an active volcano which is a gigantic CO2 producer. What RCA did is still classified, but when NASA decided to put an animal up in space, RCA volunteered to send Nipper, and as far as we know he's still up there farting and dropping parcels .....

...... which are automatically ejected towards the Sony Music HQ, but which have been giving Starlink grief because some are splattering on the antennae of their satellites, hence Cappy's Starlink dropping out sometimes when he wants to log into the NES.

 

"Don't mention logs" said Elon "As it is Nipper's that are giving us so many problems, and he must be a world champion as to quantity, because .......

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......played several more bars to cover up the sound of three more of Nipper's deposits, and they were never heard when the records were pressed.

 

Not many people know that RCA were involved in the original Space Program, before NASA started the BS of measuring CO2 on Mount Mauna Loa, an active volcano which is a gigantic CO2 producer. What RCA did is still classified, but when NASA decided to put an animal up in space, RCA volunteered to send Nipper, and as far as we know he's still up there farting and dropping parcels ..........

 

 

 

One of the last photos ,before being sent into space.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

One of the last photos ,before being sent into space.

And one of the last times that Starlink's satellites were ever doggy-doodoos splatter free.

[turboplanner]

....one a regular basis. It didn't take UFO watchers long to log little brown splats as evidence that the Martian digestive system was similar to ours, mud they were monocular feeder, they only ate one form of food. The posts on UFO Observer, mostly written by one person with 32 sock puppets speculated ..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....one a regular basis. It didn't take UFO watchers long to log little brown splats as evidence that the Martian digestive system was similar to ours, mud they were monocular feeder, they only ate one form of food. The posts on UFO Observer, mostly written by one person with 32 sock puppets speculated ..........

...... that the present world shortage of binoculars has been caused by the Martians buying them all up and cutting them in half, prior to ingesting them with a sauce made from .......

[turboplanner]

........made from sheep's guts. This is what was posited by SP1. SP2 immediately replied "But wouldn't that cause them pain?" John? whereupon John replied "No Jim, they add a softener." SP3 replied "That's true, I use it to fuel my Drifter, I get the Softener from Ace Softeners. They're great people to deal with."

The is a poor man's variation on the Delphi Method used by government departments to exclude the community from influencing the path, right or wrong that the "Yes Ministers" have chosen, but no one picked it up and soon hundreds of flyers were fuelling their recreational aircraft with SG3+, not knowing the SG stood for sheep's guts, and even worse.............

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

but no one picked it up and soon hundreds of flyers were fuelling their recreational aircraft with SG3+, not knowing the SG stood for sheep's guts, and even worse.........

......, consider the 110-octane leaded option that has popped up at all airports, where the guts-to-octane ratio almost tops the ...... 

 

And to satisfy Cappy's philosophical nature, he just pops in the following for NESer's interest, which is one of Cappy's favourite sayings, although he doesn't get too many opportunities to use it at Garden Parties or Fly-Ins.

Edited October 20 by Captain

[turboplanner]

40 minutes ago, Captain said:

......, consider the 110-octane leaded option that has popped up at all airports, where the guts-to-octane ratio almost tops the ...... 

 

And to satisfy Cappy's philosophical nature, he just pops in the following for NESer's interest, which is one of Cappy's favourite sayings, although he doesn't get too many opportunities to use it at Garden Parties or Fly-Ins.

Deep

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Deep

As someone with a PhD is Philosophy, although it's only from Melbourne Uni's Moorabbin campus, I hang on his every word and I have heard Turbo express that many times, although he usually says "Wow, man, that's really deep" .

 

However the singularroot or bull will surely provide the explanation of what Billy S had in mind when he penned those lines.

Edited October 20 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

As a student of Phsychology for the Working Man (PftWM) Cappy has written a thesis for his post doctorate award and he postulates for the 1st time in human history that the above lines are a metaphor for the power of music to move and affect the human soul. The reason is that in Shakespeare's time, sheep's guts were used to make strings for musical instruments such as the lute, the viola & the violin.

 

EEEan - In addition to the AOs, given the heights to which the NES has soared (avref) recently, may we please have a new Forum title for Aviation Philosophy.

Edited October 20 by Captain

[turboplanner]

 ......dirty old Avgas.

 

Not many people know you can mix a litre of SG3+ with six packets of sugar and it will produce 30 sticks with more punch than gelignite. It has to be very carefully handled though. Turbo learnt this the hard way when he picked up Cappy one day to travel up to a new gold mine they'd bought. Cappy shoved the sticks aside to make way for his golf clubs and as soon as they hit the dirt tracks it blew up leaving the Fairlande looking like a pulled bon bon. It had no bood; it ended at the rear window, much like the new BYD.

 

Cappy............

Edited October 20 by turboplanner

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... Cappy shoved the sticks aside to make way for his golf clubs and as soon as they hit the dirt tracks it blew up leaving the Fairlande looking like a pulled bon bon. It had no bood; it ended at the rear window, much like the new BYD.

 

Cappy............

...... originally assumed that this was an attack by the IDF because they had misspelt it & thought that Achmed bin Turbine (Turbo's real name is Archy) was a Hammas spokesperson, but that was incorrect and Mossad have this morning sent through an apology, which said " ......

Edited October 20 by Captain

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, Captain said:

The reason is that in Shakespeare's time, sheep's guts were used to make strings for musical instruments such as the lute, the viola & the violin.

But not the Banjo or the Uke, which were exempt as part of a group of instruments that included the Piano-Accordion, the Jew's Harp and the mouth organ.

[turboplanner]

.....

עוקבים כבר כמה שנים אחר טורבין כשהוא מתמודד עם החתולים שלו, ועיבדנו את הנהלים האלה עם חמאס, אם כי הוספנו כמה מאיצים. אז צה"ל לעולם לא יאשים את טורבו בזה; הגנרל שהציע שזה כבר לא עובד בשבילנו ו...

or for those who need it; 

 

"We have made a mistake; we've been watching Turbine for several years dealing with his cats, and we have adapted those procedures with Hamas, albeit adding some accelerators. So the IDF would never accuse Turbo of this; the General who suggested that doesn't work for us any more and ........."