The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... but that rego number was fake in order to save the Panamanian landing fees, which were 2 kgs of street-ready cocaine, 5 shots of tequila and a chugalug of a 6 pack of Balboa beer (Note the rule in Panama is "2 minutes bottle to throttle"), and a ........ 

Edited Sunday at 10:22 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

..... Gringo can of Coca Cola.

Meanwhile KR had been making progress in the prison, and had graduated to a part-time employee back in civilisation as an airport landing fee checker. His job ......

 

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... Gringo can of Coca Cola.

Meanwhile KR had been making progress in the prison, and had graduated to a part-time employee back in civilisation as an airport landing fee checker. His job ......

 

.... was one where he received a promotion almost immediately as the Panama Psych Check showed that Kev qualified for all of the smarmy jobs in CASA and he exceeded the number of personality quirks that CASA regard as desirable to get to the top, let alone do Ramp Checks.

 

So, being at the top of the management potential tree in CASA qualified him to be a dunny cleaner in the Panamanian system, but he soon worked his way up the ladder to ......

Edited Monday at 08:30 PM by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

So, being at the top of the management potential tree in CASA qualified him to be a dunny cleaner in the Panamanian system, but he soon worked his way up the ladder to ......

.... climb out of the Panamanian Long-Drop (cleaning the sides of a long-drop is hard yacka) and he progressed up to the cleaning of basins, urinals and those endless towels which in Panama are changed, whether they need it or not, every 5 years, so the same duration as a Corvette fan belt.

 

But Kev schemed & back-bit hard, so he was soon ......

 

An Endless Towel in a dunny & on its way around for the 45th time.

Edited Monday at 09:51 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........moved up to tower controller where he could be smarmy with the International pilots, frequency doing call backs in Mandarin just to show off, but he was very testy with the recreational flyers, some of whom, in Panama, had never been taught to speak. So he had to repeat ...............................

 

Panamanian Tower Controller

https://www.google.com/search?q=kalahari+bushman+talking&rlz=1C1VDKB_enAU1133AU1133&oq=African+bushman+talking&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCAgBEAAYFhgeMgYIABBFGDkyCAgBEAAYFhgeMg0IAhAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IAxAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBBAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0IBRAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMgoIBhAAGIAEGKIEMgcIBxAAGO8F0gEKMTYzNTFqMGoxNagCCLACAfEF2fVAayCB9EXxBdn1QGsggfRF&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:6fe3a020,vid:W6WO5XabD-s,st:0

[onetrack]

......using multiple microphone clicks, instead of Mandarin or even the English language. The Panamanians were quick to pick up on the click language, and every flyer commented on how good it was for reducing clogging of the airwaves with unnecessary and long-winded radio transmissions.

 

Many flyers remarked on how good it was, to go back to simple Morse Code for communication. One could simply convert ones callsign to a number of microphone clicks in Morse Code, and by the time.........

[Captain]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

......using multiple microphone clicks, instead of Mandarin or even the English language. The Panamanians were quick to pick up on the click language, and every flyer commented on how good it was for reducing clogging of the airwaves with unnecessary and long-winded radio transmissions.

Many flyers remarked on how good it was, to go back to simple Morse Code for communication. One could simply convert ones callsign to a number of microphone clicks in Morse Code, and by the time.........

.... that the AUF Morse Code Sub-Committee (the MCSC) had put a motion on this to the Board, a very slick & professional proposal had been received from Turbine Blechley Park Code Breakers and Makers Inc, which was basically to simplify the Morse Code by removing all of the dashes as a money and time saving initiative ("The dashes are a pain in the bum, and very expensive, plus are harder to carry around, as they are many times bigger than the dots" said Turbo in a promotional video), and it was proposed to rename it the .......

Edited Tuesday at 03:10 AM by Captain

[onetrack]

.....Terse Code, with the leading capital "T" used as a nod to Turbo's input, and the word itself well known as the definition for sparseness in the use of words.

 

What wasn't well known of course, is that Turbo is also a man of few words, so when he speaks, one has to ensure one doesn't miss a word anywhere. This character trait long ago deemed him entirely unsatisfactory for the primary qualification required to become a politician, so Turbo was denied a life full of excessive pay levels, free bar tabs, free business-class travel, and lots of kickbacks, along with general public opprobium.

 

However, Turbo made up for it, by going into the business and corporate world, where excessive pay levels, free bar tabs, free business-class travel, kickbacks, and general public opprobium still ruled, so it was all good.

 

Turbo appeared as the primary speaker at a major conference one day, and after he cleared his throat, he launched into the start of the talk with a joke, as all good public speakers do.

However, due to Turbos trait of using as few words as possible, he told a one-line joke, and condensed it into 3 words - which left the audience scratching their heads, and..........

 

Edited Tuesday at 04:02 AM by onetrack

[Captain]

NEWS FLASH - 1root uses the word "opprobium" twice in one NES post. What a w ................ inner

Edited Tuesday at 05:13 AM by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

Turbo appeared as the primary speaker at a major conference one day, and after he cleared his throat, he launched into the start of the talk with a joke, as all good public speakers do.

However, due to Turbos trait of using as few words as possible, he told a one-line joke, and condensed it into 3 words - which left the audience scratching their heads, and........

.... asking for their money back.

 

That is never good when you are a One-Man-Show and when the takings have already been spent on .....

[bull]

On 13/10/2025 at 4:32 AM, Captain said:

STOP PRESS - Eean has seen fit to nominate Turbo, oneroot, bull and Cappy for an AO, each, next January, for services to the NES.

 

Thank you Eean. It is well deserved.

Wow cheers from Bull mates,,,,,,is you know just asking any coin attached to this AO thingy?

[bull]

49 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... asking for their money back.

 

That is never good when you are a One-Man-Show and when the takings have already been spent on .....

....hookers and alcohol,,,,he had to think quick now so he............ 

[turboplanner]

..........in the local dialect, told them in great detail about Gentle Jesus and forgiveness, but when he got to the part about walking on water, and dividing the little fishes, someone up the back said "Eh Gringo, you not talk enough then you talk too much all bullsh*t", and pulled out a huge machette; and that's when Turbo learnt that Panama was the only country in Central America in which the people weren't catholic. He ........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..........in the local dialect, told them in great detail about Gentle Jesus and forgiveness, but when he got to the part about walking on water, and dividing the little fishes, someone up the back said "Eh Gringo, you not talk enough then you talk too much all bullsh*t", and pulled out a huge machette; and that's when Turbo learnt that Panama was the only country in Central America in which the people weren't catholic. He ........................

...... assumed, which you should never do [see Footnote below], that because they were 100% non-catholic, that they must all be Jewish and that Panama is the new homeland.

 

That made Colombia & the Darian Gap the new West Bank, and Costa Rica is Syria, so Turbo saw himself as the new Golda Meir, and because he looked so similar he decided to fill the power vacuum by .......

 

Cappy can't remember whether he took the below pic of Golda in her prime (Cappy was a leader in the Knesset at that time) or Turbo during his over-the-ears long hair trans experimentation phase, and you can't tell as they look identical (and have never both been seen in the same room at the same time).

 

[That badge is from the Red Corvette Owner's Association, but that doesn't help identify the photo as Golda had one too and used to take Cappy for a Friday night cruise up the main drag in Jerusalem, before they went parking up on lover's lane at the Golgotha lookout].

 

 

Footnote - Wise saying from Confucius Fong from Cabramatta NSW ....... "All NESers should never ASSUME anything .... as if you do it will make an ass out of U and me."

Edited Tuesday at 05:51 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........declaring Panama the original Palestine and set about ousting the Panamanians, and turning the Hamas Palestinians around once again to march in the opposite direction, this time for a permanent homeland in Central America away from all those Arabs. She offered Don T the Nobel Peace Prize next year in return for a one time one way airlift of 2.2 million people.

All was going well until the seventh day when God happened to be trying to get to sleep and ..........

 

Update:

Confucious Fong was silly enough to say this to the Mayor of Cabramatta (English was not his first language) and now they are walking around joined together by one ass.

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

All was going well until the seventh day when God happened to be trying to get to sleep and ........

..... was searching for a new chant that would keep the lefties occupied for a few years.

 

And then it came to him ... "From the (Chagres) River to the Canal, Lefties will always be anal", which became the official ......

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Update:

Confucious Fong was silly enough to say this to the Mayor of Cabramatta (English was not his first language) and now they are walking around joined together by one ass.

..... and doing a Chinese/Vietnamese Siamese-twins, ass conjoined double-act outside Jimmy Turbine's Boxing Tent at the Easter Show.

[bull]

12 hours ago, Captain said:

..... and doing a Chinese/Vietnamese Siamese-twins, ass conjoined double-act outside Jimmy Turbine's Boxing Tent at the Easter Show.

.and some chinese influencer posted it on tik tok and it  went viral all over the world!  now this caused.......

[turboplanner]

........a flurry of responses which spread to the general social media gravy train, and then someone posted an AI version, and Jimmy Turbine got a contract at the Sheep's Inn, Las Vegas for a whole season and bought himself a stretch limo and ........

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........a flurry of responses which spread to the general social media gravy train, and then someone posted an AI version, and Jimmy Turbine got a contract at the Sheep's Inn, Las Vegas for a whole season and bought himself a stretch limo and ........

..... , looking for a promotion headline, he arranged for Lionel Rose to challenge Mike Tyson & Cassius Turbine to a WWF style tag team boxing match.

 

The ticket sales, all handled by a JV between TurboTek & TickeTurd, went crazy and even Choc Mundine and his dad bought front row seats next to bull & Connor McGregbine, where they ......

Edited yesterday at 06:33 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

......became restless at the excitement of the spectacular Turbine presentation which included 16 maidens (a first in Las Vegas), 16 tigers, 16 bluegrass pickers and an .........

 

 

 

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...... became restless at the excitement of the spectacular Turbine presentation which included 16 maidens (a first in Las Vegas), 16 tigers, 16 bluegrass pickers and an .........

..... under cover display of Corvettes from the Turbine family collection (which kicked the asses of the Jay Lenno and Adam Corolla collections, combined).

 

However, finding a venue big enough to house this 'vette collection was not as hard as locating 16 certified virgins to wear the maidens' costumes (as a practicing Gyno it was Cappy who was asked to do the inspections and certifications), and that .....

Edited 22 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....looked like it might bring the show down, until the pugilist bull and his some Oneleg stepped up. The pair had just appeared on Britain's got talent and ......

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....looked like it might bring the show down, until the pugilist bull and his son, Oneleg, stepped up. The pair had just appeared on Britain's got talent and ......

..... were ready to take on Liberace and Elton John (who cannot be differentiated from Liberace these days) in the Vegas Strip show scene.

 

bull's son was also keen to race down and reduce the number of virgins, but the more experienced bull suggested that they just stroll down to the enclosure of maidens and ....... 

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... were ready to take on Liberace and Elton John (who cannot be differentiated from Liberace these days) in the Vegas Strip show scene.

 

bull's son was also keen to race down and reduce the number of virgins, but the more experienced bull suggested that they just stroll down to the enclosure of maidens and ....... 

wak on these white coats with a pair of blue examination gloves on our hands and just stroll in like we belong and then.