The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

On this occasion, he unstrapped the good looking First Officer Roxanne  and motivated her to ............

..... worship her new non-gay "Dear Leader" by .......

[turboplanner]

.......kicking him in the.......

 

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... kicking him in the .......

...... inguinal canal, but be careful that you do not .....

[turboplanner]

....pinch the occupital nerve because this causes irrational spasms of laughter (Hyena Syndrome). Cappy, ever the experimeter is one of the sufferers, and gets HS when he is hearing something he doesn't like, such as the "Welcome Home Albo" a few days ago, when the Labor faithful, whether they liked it or not were required to show up at the Canberra Ambassador Motel to "welcome home" Albo. One speech in particular got up Cappy's nose, and that was Albo's. Cappy started to spasm just as Albo was telling everyone he "had Don around my little finger" and Cappy, his voice quavering, quavered..................................

[Captain]

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

One speech in particular got up Cappy's nose, and that was Albo's. Cappy started to spasm just as Albo was telling everyone he "had Don around my little finger" and Cappy, his voice quavering, quavered .....

..... and the only way that he could think of the de-quaver himself was to place himself voluntarily in a situation where he would be bored to tears, so he went and spoke to Kevin Rudd (although Cappy has always considered Therese to be hot, so that distracted him a little) but Kevy won out, and Crappy was saved, though bored s#%&less.

 

However, it wasn't until Tony "burqa" Bourke came over to do his best Les Patterson impersonation, that ......

 

Kev and Therese at a BBQ at Cappy's joint in late 2020 ("F the masks" Cappy had said on the invite). See what I mean about Terri, which is the insider name that she asked Cappy to call her.

 

 

Tony B while 3 sheets to the wind (avref)

Edited October 7 by Captain

[Captain]

7 hours ago, Captain said:

 

Cappy would love to hear what our thousands of NESers (and from Bernie too) think about his recent paint job on his digs, as shown behind Kev and Terri in the above photo.

The house was previously 100% that depressing Vicmanistan dark black basalt that they have down Lorne way, and it was dragging me down (so I can see why everyone is so morbid and moribund every day down in Mexico).

I therefore decided to paint it white, which went over a treat at the party and at the subsequent knees-up.

Not bad, eh?

 

PS - Any member of Wreck Flying, or whatever it is called now, is welcome to call in on any weekend for a few ales & a chat.

Edited October 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

The only problem was Ruddy didn't get permission from the Party, and a member from another faction dobbed him in to Don for Posing without a Permit, a felony, which was kicked upstairs to the Military and ruddy has been handcuffed by six Marines and put in ......

[Captain]

..... alligator Alcatraz, where the alligators were very well informed & were all getting ready to stick their fingers down their throats in case he escaped & they accidentally chomped on one of his bits, but that ......

[turboplanner]

didn't bother our KRUDD, or more correctly Labor's KRUDD. He dug straight through the cell's concrete floor with his vitriol, dug a tunnel underneath the perimeter, made a canoe out of his 36 hankies and chewing gum and set sail for Sanfrancisco........

 

A rare photo has appeared in the Bombay Bugle, showing the harsh terrain Turbo and Cappy fought in, Turbo with the additional handicap of a gunshot wound inflicted by a caseless Cappy. In the background is the Company Kitchen which had to be dragged up the "Track" by the men, while the Officers rode Camels. The Cooks would churn out braised gort, roast gort, grilled gort, fricassied gort, gort soup, boiled gort etc. with something different every day for the survivors. 

 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

didn't bother our KRUDD, or more correctly Labor's KRUDD. He dug straight through the cell's concrete floor with his vitriol, dug a tunnel underneath the perimeter, made a canoe out of his 36 hankies and chewing gum and set sail for Sanfrancisco. ......

..... Things were going great as he ripped through the Gulf of America, dodged a few Honduran pirates, and spent time with a few ladies in Bocas del Toro (Terri was going to fly in to meet him there, but she was in Paris with Cappy at the time) ........ until he reached the Panama Canal, where the Canal Authority insisted on examining his ......

[turboplanner]

.......passport. "Do you know who I am?" he asked "Never eard of ye" replied the Canal Immigration Officer in Spanish/Amrigos des las americas. Ruddy had a hissy fit and was promptly locked up and given a bowl of hot chillis, a cigar and a cat, which is the custom of prisoner treatment in Panama.

 

Six weeks later KR had toned it down; his hair had grown down to his waist and ......

 

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Six weeks later KR had toned it down; his hair had grown down to his waist and ......

..... he looked a bit like Fabio in dreadlocks, but older, uglier, and with the typical Rudd ego.

 

"I want my f'n government jet and I want it now" Kev kept demanding, as the prisoners in Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza took the micky and thought "What an entitled dickhead (but in Spanish)", and suggested that he ...... 

 

Kev in the exercise yard at the nick, calling for his Aussie Govt 737.

 

 

Kev's cell was 3rd window from the left, with 200 other blokes, at the Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza

[Captain]

On 07/10/2025 at 8:32 PM, turboplanner said:

Cappy just checked his records, and it is clear that Cappy's Company built those 2 walls that are so clearly visible in Turbo's photo.

 

It was Turb's Company that built the wall in the foreground at lower right.

 

Cappy's artistic flare can also be seen, as it was he that drew the camel, after a lengthy debate about whether it should be 1 hump or 2.

 

Below also shows the Standard Vanguard that Cappy used for the profile for the car that he drew. However, he could not afford the white paint to show the windows. (Cappy and Turbo (T & C Motor Corp) had, and still have, the dealership for these cars up the Khyber, so it was a useful promo initiative, and they still sell a few hundred each year).

Edited Thursday at 05:26 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

37 minutes ago, Captain said:

Cappy just checked his records, and it is clear that Cappy's Company built those 2 walls that are so clearly visible in Turbo's photo.

 

It was Turb's Company that built the wall in the foreground at lower right.

 

Cappy's artistic flare can also be seen, as it was he that drew the camel, after a lengthy debate about whether it should be 1 hump or 2.

 

Below also shows the Standard Vanguard that Cappy used for the profile for the car that he drew. However, he could not afford the white paint to show the windows. (Cappy and Turbo (T & C Motor Corp) had, and still have, the dealership for these cars up the Khyber, so it was a useful promo initiative, and they still sell a few hundred each year).

This hardy little car was designed at the beginning of the Compass and Pen days of car design, where Indian Ink (which came from Afghanistan) allowed a much sharper profile than HB Pencil which produced cars like the Studebaker and MG TC. We can also see this style in british trains  where the designer set the front profile by sticking the sharp bit in the centre of the winscreen to produce that traditional rounded appearance.  The Khybers knew this was an English car from the whine coming from first gear as it set out on a journey. The  Turbine Wall as it became known was designed by Turbo's Grandfather, Frank Lloyd Turbine, a well - known architect, and in Adelaide and Sydney in those days you were't "with it" unless you incorporated one of those walls in your new house.

[turboplanner]

........make a gringo dress to go with his hair.

KR spat out a seething reply in Mandarin, but to his surprise a huge Panamanian with beady eyes, just like OT's stepped up and invited him to dance ...............

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........make a gringo dress to go with his hair.

KR spat out a seething reply in Mandarin, but to his surprise a huge Panamanian with beady eyes, just like OT's stepped up and invited him to dance ...............

...... a dance that was common in Panamanian jails, which by direct implication meant that the dancers were also common (not to mention that Kevi also danced with a flower behind his left ear) and was therefore available (if you took him to dinner, which comprised at least 2 pieces of mouldy bread and half a glass of stagnant water).

 

But the prisoners suspected what was living in Kev's dreads (in the 2nd world it is well known that you are never more than 4 ft from a rat) so discounting Kevi himself, that meant that .......

Edited Thursday at 06:34 PM by Captain

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

at the beginning of the Compass and Pen days of car design,

And about 2 or 3 decades before Pen graduated from car design to become a magician.

[turboplanner]

......not only would the huge Panamanian be taking Kev to dinner, but a rat as well.

The problem was he didn't know which was the rat........................

[onetrack]

.....and which was Kev's rat-tail. The question was soon answered, right after they sat down, when Kev's pet rat descended out of his hair, and sat on his shoulder.

 

The Panamanian panicked. Where he came from, rats were vermin and were killed on sight. He reached for a weapon, all the while keeping an eye on the rat.

 

But the rat was watching him, too, and no sooner had the Panamanian made a sudden move, when the rat jumped onto..............

[turboplanner]

.............the vast nd hairy bulk of the Panamanian. Within 16 minutes six other rats had colonised the Panamanian.

KR gave one of his irritating smiles and said  "......................................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............the vast nd hairy bulk of the Panamanian. Within 16 minutes six other rats had colonised the Panamanian.

KR gave one of his irritating smiles and said  "......................................

..... I think that I will run for the Presidency in Panama, as I am a winner and the Panamanian people deserve to have someone of my standing and stature to love them like a daddy, and to look after their interests. ......................................... and I'll release all of the prisoners + pay them top dollar (Balboas) to be my Private Army/Pretorian Guard."

 

The prisoners all cheered, killed a few guards just to show a sign of defiance and they rushed to mill around KRuddy and declare him to be their ......

 

Below we see Kevvy, about to address the prisoners and promise them the world, if they will protect him. He is much more badarse than Nickelarse Mad-Durex from Venezuela, and once Nickelarse is done for, Kev plans to re-merge Panama and Venice-whaler then squeeze & smash Colombia to join them.

Kev's aim is to be adored by squillions and to be recognised as the Christopher Columbus/Fred (Vasco Núñez de) Balboa of his age.

Edited Saturday at 06:40 PM by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Christopher Columbus/Fred (Vasco Núñez de) Balboa

Few scholars, nor ordinary people, know that Chris's real name was Christopher Columbus de la Turbine, but after receiving high quality tax advice he dropped the de la Turbine bit so that he could fly (avref) under the radar and create a dynasty, same like the Rothchilds (a sub-group of the Turbines) & the lesser Vanderbilts, where the "t" was left in as a fitting tribute to their Turbine family history and connections.

 

(As astute NESers will already know the Vanderbilts were originally the factory build-assist operation for Van's aircraft, where the RV8 is their favourite, and they bilt heaps).

Edited Saturday at 09:00 PM by Captain

[Captain]

23 hours ago, Captain said:

Kev's aim is to be adored by squillions and to be recognised as the Christopher Columbus/Fred (Vasco Núñez de) Balboa of his age.

Kev is also a bit of a dick.

[Captain]

STOP PRESS - Eean has seen fit to nominate Turbo, oneroot, bull and Cappy for an AO, each, next January, for services to the NES.

 

Thank you Eean. It is well deserved.

Edited Sunday at 05:33 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........leader, and show them how to get out of prison. Some slight reduction in numbers (what pollsters call "approval ratings" in politics) occurred when Kev made his acceptance speech in Mandarin, just to show how clever he is.

 

The numbers dropped further when Gonzales de luca d'alonzo shouted "Hey Gringo, hold the crap!" and Kev responded with a blistering hissy fit about Mexicans! not realising Panama was a different Country with different customs.

 

For NES recreational aviation viewers, Panamanians didn't fly Thrusters, Drifters, Jabirus; they flew "menuvo avion hecho de madera contrachapada y bamboodling de kits chines impulsado por blueheads".

 

You can just imagine the reaction  when one of these dudes flew into the airstrip in Panama with the radio call "Buenos dias companeros y companeras;  menuvo avion hecho de madera contrachapada y bamboodling de kits chines impulsado por blueheads 19 2765 ................."