The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

..........trust he had built up with Cappy. During a prawning trip he'd met up with an Indonesian trawler Captain, Solly Wesi who ran, as a sideline an "import/export business"

 

Solly pointed out to bull the benefits of buying on the high seas, where there were no taxes and selling on high seas near Australia where there were no duties. I

 

f the products were assisted to get on the Indonesian boat, rather than bought and even paid to do so there was a big wad of cash to be shared by the two trawler skippers.

 

Knowing deals like this could turn nasty, bull  hired Cappy for security. Cappy knew the normal military rifles were inaccurate on small vessels due to the constant rolling, so he took his gold plated Under and Over skeet gun and a case of SGs.

 

All went well for three months and they were rolling in money, but the Australian Coastguard had picked up from a gossiping poster on WF that "some" people were about to buy themselves new, top of the range LSA aircraft from Romania.

 

Weipa was the go to port smugglers went to and also the base of Sergeant  Shane Track, Commonwealth Police, who was embedded there as a beachcomber but didn't seem to be very successful. He drank everyone under the table and went home every night with a diffferent chick. Owing a Drifter, his ears pricked up at the latest WFgossip, and he was fishing on the wharf when bull's trawler came in.

 

He noticed the smell of a particular stinky cigar wafting from the boat.

 

A week later it was his stint on the Coastgard boat out of Darwin, and they accosted various Torres Strait Islanders, inspecting their fish catch and fining them for any under-length. Oddly none of their boats carried the Australian Torres Island flag. This flag shows the back end of a bull (not our bull), so people should have been aware the flag was a joke. And every one of them swore they were not Austrasians, had never been there, and living 400 metres off PNG, were never likely to go there because PNG paid a lot more. They argued they were not under Australian jurisdiction.

 

Just then, a trawler appeared over the horizon,  and bull deployed his nets quickly.

 

As the Coastguard boat "Harold Holt" drew near, the Captain hailed bull and asked how the fishing was going. "the xxxxx all seem to have gone out into the xxxxxxx indian ocean" replied bull, trying to appear innocent.

 

Everything looked OK and the Coastguard boat was pulling away.

 

"WAIT!" yelled the Sergeant. He could smell that stinky cigar smoke wafting across from the old gentleman who looked to be a tourist, but who was watching him with the intent of a .......................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

an Indonesian trawler Captain, Solly Wesi

Solly's 1st mate was Wes Pap-ua-smear.

 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Oddly none of their boats carried the Australian Torres Island flag.

Because all of the Torres Strait Islander flags were down in Cantberra covering up the Aussie National Flag at press conferences.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"WAIT!" yelled the Sergeant. He could smell that stinky cigar smoke wafting across from the old gentleman who looked to be a tourist, but who was watching him with the intent of a ...........

..... coiled Eastern Brown, but Cappy and his trusty shotty full of SGs, although it also crossed his mind that taking on the Aussie Govt, just to protect bull, was not one of his best ideas.

 

But then the danger was over, as bull had sent the crew and Captain of the Harry Holt $1,000 each plus a 5 kg bag of uncooked prawns, although that smell of prawns reminded them of ......

 

 

Cappy looked like a big version of this as he prepared to protect bull.

Edited Monday at 10:10 PM by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........trust he had built up with Cappy. During a prawning trip he'd met up with an Indonesian trawler Captain, Solly Wesi who ran, as a sideline an "import/export business"

 

Solly pointed out to bull the benefits of buying on the high seas, where there were no taxes and selling on high seas near Australia where there were no duties. I

 

f the products were assisted to get on the Indonesian boat, rather than bought and even paid to do so there was a big wad of cash to be shared by the two trawler skippers.

 

Knowing deals like this could turn nasty, bull  hired Cappy for security. Cappy knew the normal military rifles were inaccurate on small vessels due to the constant rolling, so he took his gold plated Under and Over skeet gun and a case of SGs.

 

All went well for three months and they were rolling in money, but the Australian Coastguard had picked up from a gossiping poster on WF that "some" people were about to buy themselves new, top of the range LSA aircraft from Romania.

 

Weipa was the go to port smugglers went to and also the base of Sergeant  Shane Track, Commonwealth Police, who was embedded there as a beachcomber but didn't seem to be very successful. He drank everyone under the table and went home every night with a diffferent chick. Owing a Drifter, his ears pricked up at the latest WFgossip, and he was fishing on the wharf when bull's trawler came in.

 

He noticed the smell of a particular stinky cigar wafting from the boat.

 

A week later it was his stint on the Coastgard boat out of Darwin, and they accosted various Torres Strait Islanders, inspecting their fish catch and fining them for any under-length. Oddly none of their boats carried the Australian Torres Island flag. This flag shows the back end of a bull (not our bull), so people should have been aware the flag was a joke. And every one of them swore they were not Austrasians, had never been there, and living 400 metres off PNG, were never likely to go there because PNG paid a lot more. They argued they were not under Australian jurisdiction.

 

Just then, a trawler appeared over the horizon,  and bull deployed his nets quickly.

 

As the Coastguard boat "Harold Holt" drew near, the Captain hailed bull and asked how the fishing was going. "the xxxxx all seem to have gone out into the xxxxxxx indian ocean" replied bull, trying to appear innocent.

 

Everything looked OK and the Coastguard boat was pulling away.

 

"WAIT!" yelled the Sergeant. He could smell that stinky cigar smoke wafting across from the old gentleman who looked to be a tourist, but who was watching him with the intent of a .......................

Crappy congratulates Turdbro on this post.

 

Ten paragraphs are unheard of in the NES, which is normally short, sweat and concise.

 

However, a ten-para tome (TPT) is fairly normal for Turdy when he has his tail up and is lecturing in WF on an aviation technical detail, custom or practice to dispense his pearls of wisdom.

 

The NES is lucky to have his contributions, as is WF more generally.

Edited Tuesday at 01:07 AM by Captain

[Captain]

On 25/08/2025 at 12:05 PM, Captain said:

But then the danger was over, as bull had sent the crew and Captain of the Harry Holt $1,000 each plus a 5 kg bag of uncooked prawns, although that smell of prawns reminded them of ......

..... what the Chinese or Russian sub reported that Harry himself smelt like when they picked him up.

 

It is little known that Harry now lives a life a leisure flitting between Beijing and Moscow, and he does those flits by tracking thru Zav Kan (Turbo & Cappy spent some time in that area under cover and behind the lines during the cold war) in a highly modified CT with wingtip tanks and a central drop tank that ....... 

Edited Thursday at 01:44 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

......ensured there were no Pbreacks required on the journey, or Cappy whine "How far is it to the next stop all day. The only problem was the drop tank's lugs which were prone to sticking and would let the drop tank go .......

[onetrack]

...., generally at the most inopportune moment, such as when the aircraft was transiting military zones - thus leading to even more exciting aviation moments for our erstwhile and intrepid Harry.

 

Despite being well recognised as a risk-taking swimmer, Harry wasn't one to take risks in the air, for fear of...........

[Captain]

7 hours ago, onetrack said:

...., generally at the most inopportune moment, such as when the aircraft was transiting military zones - thus leading to even more exciting aviation moments for our erstwhile and intrepid Harry.

 

Despite being well recognised as a risk-taking swimmer, Harry wasn't one to take risks in the air, for fear of...........

.... filling the cockpit.

 

So he always wore 3 pairs of Depends "Aviator's Special" nappies as developed by Turbine Urine Control & Development Corp, plus Harry could land the CT on a sixpence (or a tögrög as the Mongolians call it) so Harry would often land beside a yurt and ......

Edited Thursday at 05:00 PM by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

.... filling the cockpit.

 

So he always wore 3 pairs of Depends "Aviator's Special" nappies as developed by Turbine Urine Control & Development Corp, plus Harry could land the CT on a sixpence (or a tögrög as the Mongolians call it) so Harry would often land beside a yurt and ......

..... chuck the used Depends down their long-drop, then he would towel himself off, put on 3 new pairs, and watch the Mongolian ladies swoon because of his new rounded shape "down there", before striding confidently, although bandy leggedly, back to the CT, when he would ......

Edited Thursday at 07:18 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......go through the warm-up checks with .....The Right Horourable throttle set, etc. followed by ......

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......go through the warm-up checks with .....The Right Horourable throttle set, etc. followed by ......

.... slipping out of his wetsuit and .....

 

Harry in his wetty and chatting with some modern and hip Mongolian chicks at Lake Khövsgöl. Their yurt & long-drop is off camera to the right of the camera position.

Edited Thursday at 08:25 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

......spending a happy happy hour with various Mongol chicks who slavishly follow the hairstyles and dress codes of Melbourne in the sixties.

Not many people know that Harry was sent by the Australian government to Mongolia to stop the Domino effect which would have seen Australia a  communist country; it was that important. Of course it also stopped the trouble-making, sniping and chick marauding in Canberra too.

 

When the sub landed at Khalkhin the Dominos had reached the town  and were being fought off by descendants of Ghenghis Khan and two CIA operratives, Cappy and Turbo, the two leaders shown in the background of the photo.

 

The Dominoes were just about to break through when................

 

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......spending a happy happy hour with various Mongol chicks who slavishly follow the hairstyles and dress codes of Melbourne in the sixties.

Not many people know that Harry was sent by the Australian government to Mongolia to stop the Domino effect which would have seen Australia a  communist country; it was that important. Of course it also stopped the trouble-making, sniping and chick marauding in Canberra too.

 

When the sub landed at Khalkhin the Dominos had reached the town  and were being fought off by descendants of Ghenghis Khan and two CIA operratives, Cappy and Turbo, the two leaders shown in the background of the photo.

 

The Dominoes were just about to break through when................

 

......when Harry discovered that he had chinese heritage and ................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, bull said:

......when Harry discovered that he had chinese heritage and ................

..... had always wanted to fire a machine gun with a flat round magazine, but he objected to the Star of Mao being on his forehead, so he ......

 

What are the odds that Turbo, Cappy and Harry would be in the same CPP propaganda pic?

Edited yesterday at 05:05 AM by Captain

[onetrack]

.....replaced it with a kangaroo, thus causing great confusion amongst his military comrades, who all thought he'd been to Hong Kong and scored an Aussie souvenir hat from a returning Chinese tourist after a visit to Australia.

 

It wasn't long after that episode, that Harry started to be called "Skip" by his comrades (and we all know what the Chinese are like, for making fun of peoples names).

 

"Skip" in Chinese actually means doing a pretty anti-social act, so it wasn't long before the sound of "Hey, Skip!" brought guffaws from the assorted PLA comrades nearby, and.......................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

Skip" in Chinese actually means doing a pretty anti-social act, so it wasn't long before the sound of "Hey, Skip!" brought guffaws from the assorted PLA comrades nearby, and.......

..... they imitated Ed Devereau and Tony Bonner by saying "What's that Skip? Chairman Mao has fallen in the liver and hurt his reg? Come on Skip, rets lun and lescue him"

 

Skip, who would normally answer with a few Zulu type clicks, which when translated from Zulu actually meant "Don't be a dickhead Tony, I'm only a kangaroo", then replied, because the NES has disclosed that he is a Chinese speaking ex Prime Minister, by saying .....

Edited yesterday at 04:38 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

"lick Lick lef, Lick Lick white...................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"lick Lick lef, Lick Lick white...................

..... and you shake "it" all about, whenever .....

Edited 20 hours ago by Captain

[Captain]

My dear thousands of NES readers, now including all aircraft worldwide.

 

Using the old name we often referred to this site as Wreck Frying, but what do we do now with the new AP/Aircraft Pilots moniker? Aircraft Pillocks perhaps?

[turboplanner]

24 minutes ago, Captain said:

My dear thousands of NES readers, now including all aircraft worldwide.

 

Using the old name we often referred to this site as Wreck Frying, but what do we do now with the new AP/Aircraft Pilots moniker? Aircraft Pillocks perhaps?

Aircraft Pirates?