onetrack

...."wait up", said a voice, and out of the gloom appeared a Snr-Sgt of the New Suss Wales Police Fuss. "There won't be any tattooing of that man's nut sack! - he's a Person of Interest in a case involving obscene exposure in front of a bus load of Nuns, and we need his nut sack undamaged and unmarked, as it's going to be Prima Facie evidence, once we get this relcalcitrant individual arrested, and placed before a Magistrate. "Do I arrest him now?", said the dim-witted Constable Deadwood, the offsider to Snr-Sgt Bigstick. "Hang on Deadwood", said Snr-Sgt Bigstick, "We need to question this individual further, to make sure we've got the right bloke. We've got the wrong bloke more than once, and it doesn't reflect well at all on the New Suss Wales Police Fuss, if we keep doing that". "But, but, but!", squeaked the Kapooka Kid, as he realised that low-flying charge was going to be small fry compared to getting done for IE. Besides, he didn't have enough cash and brown paper bags at hand to pay both CASA and The Police off. "But, I wasn't showing off my nutsack to a busload of Nuns, they just happened to be passing by, as I was passing a concrete clock tower!". "Hang on", said Const Deadwood, a furrow creasing his brow, "How could you be passing a clock tower, while a busload of Nuns was passing you? And just how fast were you going past this clock tower, anyway??" At that .....

...... well better get back out there, and find that Kapooka Kid, and lay charges against him! That's what CASA is for, charging pilots who don't and won't obey the rules!"

"But Mum!", protested the CASA Operative, "That means I have to do some legwork, instead of deskwork! You know I much prefer deskwork! - issuing more rulings and regulations is easier than catching errant pilots!"

At that, Captain peered in through the window, holding a brown paper bag below windowsill level, so the CASA Operative wouldn't see it, and knock him flying, in a dash to grab it. "Psst! - Hey, Kid!" said Captain, I've ......

Give that man a DFC!! (Downed Frightening Cart) 

The problem is related to poor design. Apparently a case of water fell onto the accelerator. That's what you get with uncertified equipment, I'm amazed they even allowed it onto a major airport, such as O'Hare.

Heads will roll over this, no doubt. Will this go down in the aviation crash database?  The big question to be answered, is - how many Boeing 787MAX design engineers had input into this cart? 

....shouldn't have brought any attention from anyone. But speaking of attention", said Turgid, "Did anyone initiate an investigation in that reported illegal and shockingly dangerous low-flying, by that bloke they're calling the Kapooka Kid??"

"No, we never heard a thing about anything like that, tell us more!", said the CASA investigator, his ears pricking up like a sheep dog sighting a paddock full of wethers.

"Ahhh, it was probably handled at a high level" said Turgid, "You know, bulging brown paper bags under the desk, and all that kind of thing, that regularly goes in New Suss Wales".

"Brown paper bags??" queried the CASA snoop. "You mean, as in brown paper bags with money in them, to makes awkward things go away??". "Yep", said Turgid, "this bloke is well known for avoiding investigation into anything he.....

Why would a new prison want an upgraded aerodrome?? For faster getaways?? 

You'd have to be a long way from the Black Stump to have no other strips around. Even in the remotest Outback and Station country, there's generally a strip of some type within a reasonable distance.

I think the aim of the Govt funding is to improve aerodromes that are reasonably well-used, but which need improvements to be brought up to speed.

It's possibly being driven by the need for the RFDS to have improved airstrips as their aircraft numbers increase, and they acquire faster and larger aircraft.

I examined the list of aerodromes that have been approved for funding, and could only find one that rates as an "airstrip" - Kunawarritji (Well 33) along the Canning Stock Route.

But Kunawarritji airstrip is fenced, is maintained by the Kunawarritji Community, and has now received funding for solar lighting - meaning that with a little extra assistance, the community could probably put together an Aerodrome operating manual, and have their airstrip classed as an Aerodrome.

Approximately 5000 4WD'ers and 4WD coach tours travel the CSR annually, and Kunawarritji is an important stop for virtually all of them.

This remote tourism, as well as the local Indigenous communities needs, makes Kunawarritji airstrip a fairly necessary piece of infrastructure.

The key definitive word is "aerodrome", not airstrip - despite the document you linked to, starting off with "Airstrip", then changing the wording to "Aerodrome".

Aerodromes at a minimum have an operating manual, and most Aerodromes are certified.

I haven't read through the fine details, but I'd expect the guidelines would exclude privately-owned airstrips, and the funding is only available for registered Aerodromes.

.... the time he spent in San Francisco, taking liberal advantage of their public nudity laws, to engage in naked frolics such as the Bay to Breakers race, and the Folsom Street Fair - all in the name of art, of course.

Naturally, once he'd been in SF for more than 2 years, he became a well-known vocal supporter of the LGBTQQIAAP groups, and regularly stripped off in their defence.

Of course, the sight of Captains corpulent and wrinkled naked body, with its sagging folds of skin, did nothing for the LGBTQQIAAP mob - in fact, it damaged their cause no end, due to the sheer number of people who became ill at the sight of a naked Captain.

But alas, then came in the cutely-named Wiener Bill, which cracked down on public nudity, and Captain decided he could no longer tolerate the dreadful artistic repression of the city, and left SF for good, never to return.

Upon his return to Australia, he sought out the warmth of Queensland and its nude gay beaches - of which, he was horrified to find there were none! He was appalled, and decided he would start....

What is more amazing is an aircraft that was designed as a passenger aircraft, became of the greatest cargo aircraft of WW2.

It is utterly amazing what could be fitted in a C-47. The earliest problem for the U.S. Air forces was trying to repair established enemy airfields and build new ones, so the air power of the Allies could advance rapidly.

The answer was the Airborne Aviation Engineer Battalions, with their range of airfield construction and repair equipment, that was all designed to be fitted through a C-47 cargo door, and be carried by air.

The tiny Clark Airborne CA1 dozer, towed road graders, small rollers, wheel tractors with towed earth scrapers, Willys Jeeps fitted with tipping dump bodies, small asphalt plants, small compactors, and lighting equipment.

None of this equipment was entirely satisfactory for carving an airstrip out of raw jungle or rugged terrain - and it all had a short lifespan, due to its small size and lack of durability - but it enabled damaged airstrips to be repaired and level areas to be made into satisfactory airstrips. These Engineers worked around the clock, 24/7, and usually got damaged airfields into shape within days of landing.

The major airstrip jobs utilised the heaviest earthmoving equipment, which all had to be transported in by sea, in Landing Craft.

Thus, the new, major airstrips carved out of virgin ground, were generally within a relatively short distance from the coast, from where the landing craft had landed, and a distance that the earthmovers could travel under their own power, without needing to be loaded on to low-loaders.

http://ww2awartobewon.com/wwii-archives/army-airborne-aviation-engineers/

http://ww2today.com/10-may-1944-building-a-jungle-airstrip-for-the-chindits

.......meantimes, shocking events unknown to the readers, and unexplained by Turgid and Crappy, had happened on the highway, as Craptain ran off the road, trying to find a relatively secluded spot to pass his concrete clocktower, the urgency of its arrival making Crappy rather desperate.

It was most unfortunate, that right where he ran off the highway, looking for a bush to open his bowels behind, the vegetation was sparse, to say the least.

But Craptain found a bush, big enough to hide behind he thought, as he dropped his tweed daks. But unbeknowns to Craptain, the bush hid very little - and as he slid his daks down, they got away, and fell right to his ankles.

However, Craptain couldn't produce the effort to pull them up, he was heaving with renal effort, trying to force the clocktower through his all-too-tight sphincter.

If fact, it was well known that Craptain was a tight-arse. But it was going to get worse.

As he heaved, with daks around his ankles and his bare arse-cheeks on virtually full display to all on the highway, a bus load of young Nuns just happened upon the scene, being driven by their Mother Superior.

Imagine, if you will, the sight of Craptain, appearing to the Nuns, as the human equivalent of Cec the Ram, oblivious to passers-by, as he showed them sights that no-one should ever have to endure.

Upon sighting the horrible vision of a bare-arsed Craptain with his arse facing the highway, one third of the young nuns shreiked and fainted, one third giggled and pointed, and the other third jostled and elbowed each other, for a better look from the bus windows.

But the Mother Superior, fixated upon the shocking sight of Craptains bare arse cheeks and nut sack nearly reaching his ankles, was so distracted, she swerved across the highway and ran over.....

This is great watching, these blokes taking a 1945 DC-3 from the U.S. to the U.K. for the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings.

They leave from Manassas, VA., the first leg to Goose Bay, on to Narsarsuaq Greenland, then Narsarsuaq to Reykjavik.

From Reykavik, they flew to Prestwick, then on to Duxford with the last leg.

I really enjoyed these videos, it gives you a fair idea of what flying in WW2 was like - although the main difference being, these blokes did it with modern navaids!

......no-one in particular. But the beggar heard him, and threw Captains small change out of the window, in utterly abject fear. Captain promptly braked hard, jumped off the bike, and ran back to pick up his small change. After all, change was money - and it was his money!! Luckily the traffic was light, because Captain was intent on finding every single coin, down to the last 5 cents. But just as Captain found the last 5 cent piece ....

I could think of nothing worse, than being stuck up in the sky for hours on end, unable to get down! 

Rick - I'm happy to see a very basic description error being corrected - but if I was the person to whom this submission was being presented, I wouldn't be happy at all - in fact, I'd probably bin it, as being incomprehensible to the average pilot and light aircraft owner. A submission needs to be concise, clear, easily read, and easily understood - and not one of these descriptions applies to your submission. 

... a nearby professional beggar swooped on it, and made off with it, enraging Captain to the point that he started to draw his 54 bore on the beggar, while he was still within the 20 yard range of the revolver.

But the Moorabbin Meanderer (which nickname he gained from his course-plotting abilities - or, lack of them) grabbed the Captains hand before he could produce the weapon, and calmed him down.

But the Captain then went on a verbal rampage, comparing the local professional beggars to pigeons, and loudly expressing the need for a major cull of the beggars, with shooting being the preferred culling option.

However, just as the Captain had about finished his diatribe, and was lowering his verbal volume ....

With phrases such as this ....

We do verily believe, and also verily believe that our belief is held by the majority of aviators in Australia

 

.... this bloke has missed his calling in life - he should be a politician, spouting BS on a par with Clive Palmer.

This is unintelligible gobbledegook, it represents the worst variety of "verbal padding" one could produce as an example of "lawyer-speak".

Then there's the lingering suspicion that someone who doesn't know the difference, between "Principle" and "Principal", must have acquired their education via cheating.

The wording in the entire document represents the worst possible levels of 19th century lawyer and legal obfuscation, which I thought we had left behind in the 21st century.

.... he realised they were actually working, and they'd stiffened his backbone, no end. Meantimes, while Nob was peeling away from his bombing dive, and Fanie was abusing him for hitting one of the Captains oil tankers - Fanie suddenly fell silent, as the realisation struck him, that the burning oil tanker, was Chinese! 

Nob smirked as he glanced over and saw the change come over Fanies expression. "You thought I'd failed that enemy ship recognition course, didn't you?

In fact, I graduated dux of the class, I can spot Chinese ships 10 NM off, I tell you! Of course, the big Red flag with the golden stars in the corner, is always a bit of a giveaway".

Fanie sat there stunned, as the big P&W's roared out their music, and Nob headed for home, job done.

"Those Chinese won't be getting very far without their oil tanker", said Nob. Suddenly, from out of the direction of the sun ....

I think that's a particularly negative view. The first installations of the NBN have already been in place for nearly 10 years. Fibre optic has great potential as regards future high speeds, as technology improves.

Wireless has many serious shortcomings. 5G range is only a fraction of 4G, every development of "improved wireless" results in a need for more transmitters and repeaters, as the range shortens with each new development.

Wireless is affected by heavy rain, by other radio-wave interference, by thick vegetation and solid-walled buildings. It's not the complete answer, but it certainly provides a good backup system.

The greatest problem with the NBN is it has been a political football utilised by politicians with no busines nous, who'd go broke running a lolly shop outside a girls school.

Paying $11B to Telstra for their totally-knackered copper network is typical of the inability of these people to conduct business on satisfactory commercial terms.

The champagne glasses are still clinking in Telstra over that massive rort of a win.

The NBN is a good example.  $60 Billion, and do you see any real benefit?

 

Yes, I do see real benefit from the NBN. I have only had it for about 8 mths, but my internet speed is substantially greater than the ADSL2 copper I had previously.

My landline phone is now bundled free, as its VOIP and included in my NBN plan.

I have a UNI-D VoIP phone with my current FTTC service, but I can go to the superior UNI-V VoIP phone, if I want to run fibre optic cable the last 20M into the house from the footpath.

The NBN phone has substantially greater capabilities than the old copper cable landline.

I no longer have regular phone and computer outages, as Telstra technicians go searching for that infuriating dry joint or other copper cable fault. 

I have a ex-Telstra mate, and he told me about the nightmares they had with dry joints and constant wiring damage - from storms, tree branches, termites, and corrosive environments.

He said he's even had a fault they couldn't find, and while examining the connections in a pillar, a truck rumbled past - and the dry joint fault appeared right in front of them, as the truck vibration worked the joint.

The NBN allows me to stream movies, download large image and video files - and do both on my desktop computer, while SWMBO watches a streaming movie in the lounge room on the TV.

A good internet service is necessary today, as the majority of communication and storage goes online.

I can do major business and legal transactions, scan the documentation and email it, eliminating postage costs and speeding up the process.

The cost of the NBN is not something that is a one-off cost, to be absorbed in one financial year. It's a major infrastructure investment that needs to be amortised over its 50 to 100 year lifespan.

If we didn't go over to fibre optic with the NBN, what was your alternative, low-cost plan? Try to upgrade a copper network that was largely 120 years old?

Meantimes, Onetrack examines what Captain refers to as "offensive post #10476". Onetrack muses over how Captain appears to be suffering pain from references to his dubious family history. Against that reference, Onetrack examines Captains initial derogatory references to Onetracks family line of descent, a sly suggestion he's actually been working for a spy agency on the side - and the constant mispelling of Onetracks name into something exceptionally derogatory towards Onetracks character. However, Onetrack, being the military hero he is, as well as a businessman of repute and standing, shrugged off these snide attempts to belittle him, such is his self-assurance and forgiving nature. However, it is obvious that the pain Captain is experiencing is real,  so Onetrack, being the deeply caring individual that he is, delves deep into his medicine cabinet, to find something that Captain can take, to alleviate his overwhelming pain. Onetrack immediately finds what he reckons will work well for Captain, the recommendation is two tablets a day with water. 

.....the CO interrupted. "I've had enough of this flim-flammery, exhibitionism, and transgender stuff! It's bad enough, that we can't tell the girls from the boys any more, or even tell if we are a girl or a boy! - but now, it's got worse, with a pile of M61 cannons going missing, without anyone seeing a thing!!"

The Captain cleared his throat and spoke. "I think I can find those cannons for you, Sir! I have some underworld contacts, that can be helpful for Intelligence. I can put pressure on these contacts, because they owe our family big-time, going back many decades, due to our family saving their skins, on more than one occasion".

Captain failed to mention the family bushranger ancestry, he thought it might not be helpful at this stage, as things were already getting complicated. 

The CO spoke again. "So, you reckon you can find these M61's and retrieve them, before anyone amongst the media reptiles, or the Canberra set, find out? Get going, man, your country needs you!!"

At that, Captain raced outside and jumped into his trusty Datsun 120Y, cranked it up in a cloud of blue smoke, and roared off to.....

..... there was a major commotion in the HQ of the RAAF at Pt Cook, as the CO was notified that nearly every Hornet was missing its M61 cannon. "Heads will roll over this!" roared the CO, as he addressed the assembled subordinate officers. "When this news of a possibly Commie or Muzzie-led raid, gets back to Canberra, the ordure will hit the rotating blades like a flock of pigeons going through the props of a P-3!! - and it will cover all of us!!"

"But, Sir, piped up one junior officer, "You can't say "Muzzie or "Commie" any more, they are deemed "non-inclusive" terms, and using them will see you demoted and sent off for a re-education course, with specific regard to the long-terms damaging effects of deflated egos and hurt feelings."

"Bugger the deflated egos and hurt feelings!" roared the CO (because he was "old school" and used horrible, denigrating terms, such as "bugger") - "What about MY ego? I have 13 Hornets here without a sting in their tail, thanks to lax base security!!"

"But, Sir", piped up the junior officer again, "We have civilian contractors looking after our perimeter security now, remember? We don't have to do picqueting any more! So why are you roaring at us?"

"Hmmm, I guess you're right," mused the CO. "Damn this new 21st Century order, with civilians and girls invading our ranks! It's enough to make a man turn to drink!!"

Just then, there was a knock on the door .....

...."there are no longer any M61's on our Hornets??", gasped the Captain, his face going white. "Hang on!", he continued, the colour in his face now changing to a crimson red, as he addressed Turbo. 

"I see it all now!! You're nothing more than a fifth columnist!! - a paid-up member of the Chinese Communist Party!! - intent on single-handedly destroying Australia's Air Capabilities, whilst at the same time, pretending to be launching an attack on the Chinese Navy in the South China Sea!!!

You're worse than a Japanese envoy spying on Australian defences in 1939!! You're a scoundrel of the lowest order, you unspeakable blackguard!!!"

At that, the Captain whipped his 1856 Beaumont-Adams 54 bore revolver from his waistband, and pointed it at Turbo, seething with white-hot anger.

I might add, this revolver was a family heirloom, originally owned by a Blue Mountains bushranger, whose name was always kept secret, because the Captains family didn't want the connection publically known.

But they were always secretly proud of the bushranging tradition in their family, which they had gradually converted into brown-paper-bag influence peddling, rebirthing stolen cars, and internet fraud.

This Beaumont-Adams revolver had been handed down, father-to-son, in the Captains family, until the Captain was gifted it.

As a result, the Captain was rightfully proud of it, and produced it, whenever he felt outraged - which was fairly often. 

But Turbo's expression had changed rapidly. His eyes had narrowed, causing the Captain to be sure he had Oriental ancestry. And as Turbo's mouth twisted into a snarl, he said, "So! You think you've got me, do you??"

And with that, he lunged forward, and knocked the revolver out of the Captains grasp. The Captain, shocked at the rapid turn of events, stepped back, and ....