onetrack

Spacey can remember when he was paid in groats. 😄

....they're wearing a facial sheep balls accoutrement, and having trouble trying to see the piano keys. Naturally, the phone is always lost during the collision, leading to some amazing video footage when it's finally found, with shots of...........

......the important part, of course, is the selection of the correct windscreen washer additive. This additive, known as "Bloodgone" is a secret formula produced in W.A. by OT's company, "Trauma Cleanups Pty Ltd.", a company which specialises in cleaning up sites where blood has been spilt, and splattered body parts abound. OT gained insight into the need for this business after seeing the amount of work available for this line of work after multiple crime gang shootups, especially in Sydney and Melbourne. OT's TCPL also gets rid of the burnt cars after they've been torched by gang killers. OT spent some considerable time working with a renowned industrial chemist, and together they came up with their prize-winning formula. So much so, that gang killers have sent through large orders for the cleaner, to ensure clean crime scenes before the TRG arrive. However, all this is getting away from bulls exploits in chasing lurve in Taswegia - although one has to cheerfully admit, bull's travel plans would've been drastically shortened, if he hadn't had the foresight to fill the 6 plastic milk bottles with OT's magic windscreen cleaner. Accordingly, with a clean windscreen and high hopes, bull sighted the delightful shape of the Tasmanian land mass appearing, and this aroused him even further, dreaming of sighting the real thing on Chastity, which brought him to............

....choosers, and bull knew he wasn't a millionaire - just yet. But those purple robes held the best chance of bull becoming a millionaire, or even a billionaire. Besides, he was starting to like the idea of wearing purple robes and going around touching people (he already did that a lot back home, anyway - like, "can I touch you up for $50?, I'll pay it back next payday"... but now he could do it globally). Before long bull had a statue of the Virgin Mary that he carried around with him, and anyone he touched could pin $50 to it for a bull dispensation, that he promised, gave them the ability to.........

The beauty of finding nice gold nuggets is that the Perth Mint will pay a premium over the regular gold price for some of them, as there's a major demand for them for jewellery, and a recent decline in the number of nuggets suitable for jewellery use.

.....write his own language, which was based on his Queensland and Tasmanian living and educational experiences. There's reportedly an Australian language called Strine, bull decided to name his new language, Strayn - because it was regularly a strain trying to figure out what a Strayne speaker was actually saying. This led to a serious diplomatic bungle, when bull, upon his visit to the Pope, said.........

I'd walk before I rode with JS again. Cramped seats, tired aircraft, full of drunken and abusive bogans, and you get absolutely NOTHING, you have to BUY anything you want. Every single person I've spoken to in recent times, who took a JS trip, says they won't fly with them again. I think it's been about 6 years since I took a JS flight. On one trip to Bali we were delayed 5 hours, because a part needed had to be flown in from the East. We got a $10 lunch voucher from them - and have you ever tried to buy anything to eat, for $10, in an airport? You certainly don't get lunch, that's for sure. Then they boarded us, and we had to wait another 1-1/4 hrs until they found a LAME to sign off on the part replacement. Instead of arriving in Bali by mid-morning, we arrived in the late afternoon, so we effectively lost out the best part of a day of our holiday.

At $170 a gram, that's quite a nice haul. I wouldn't mind finding that in three and half weeks.

So ... you're hinting that the Cavorite X7 might be a work of fiction, too? 😄

Horizon Aircraft have successfully flown their revolutionary "Fan-in-Wing" eVTOL demonstrator for the first time. The Cavorite X7 consists of a radical canard-wing, forward-swept wing design, with electric fans mounted in the wings - which can operate as normal wings - but which wings also contain moving panels that can expose or shut off the electric fans in the wing. This unique setup is what gives the aircraft its VTOL capabilities. The propulsion is currently hybrid, with a gas turbine in the rear, which drives a normal propellor for forward thrust. The gas turbine also recharges the batteries that power the fans in the wings. It's an interesting and unique design, which does hold some promise of lower noise levels (especially on takeoff) and the ability to avoid stalls, and therefore serious crashes. Whether the concept is economic, is probably the $64 question. https://newatlas.com/aircraft/horizon-cavorite-x7-makes-history/

From Midnight Spares after closing time, in the carpark behind that pub known for dodgy deals? 🙂

This is the crash report of the Bell that Capt Charles Keith was piloting. There was also a LAME on board, one Grahame Thompson. The machine was actually a Bell 47GB3-1 (VH-FJO), and the disappearance region was in the vicinity of Gordonvale. https://www.atsb.gov.au/sites/default/files/media/24597/197200016.pdf

The Rotax prices must be following housing prices. Unaffordable for all but the wealthiest, or those with "old money" or Lotto winnings to splash around.

........entirely predictable, as Cappy called a Mayday, and had 6 Qantas, 11 Jetstar and 3 Rex aircraft diverted into holding patterns for over 30 mins while he tried to make a decision on where to land. Finally he decided that a nearby golf course looked suitable, and he flopped onto the smoothest-looking patch of fine green turf, only to realise when he was at 10 feet altitude, that it wasn't all that smooth at all, and in addition, he was just going to totally interrupt a major golfing tournament, which then led to an angry..........

Brendan - Roger Steele put his name to the video, that's uncommon for the "fake video" artists. Plus he's posted it on FB, "X" and his Instagram account, and it's been verified by the pilot. I think that kind of kills the "fake video" tag. Thruster88 - Yes, but... but.... You're talking smooth, level ground, highly suitable for landing. In the Cessna's outlanding, the LZ was pretty much about on a par with a roller-coaster track! I still say he was arsey, even though he did display good control skills. But once that landing airspeed has washed off, do you really have any major control on where you're heading, when the ground is full of swoops and dips, all designed to foul up golfers? - let alone aeroplanes! Check this Piper crash landing on a golf course. Fairly smooth terrain, but a pretty messy ending! Luckily, once again, no serious injury, but it could've easily been a lot different outcome. https://www.australiangolfdigest.com.au/plane-crash-landing-golf-course-video-sacramento-california-haggins-oak/

In my long experience (60 years) of owning, repairing and dealing with many warranty claims on a very wide range of engines - many from reputable manufacturers (including large American ones), the standard across-the-board warranty policy is - the manufacturer identifies the reason for the problem, and if they find and admit to faulty parts or components, the replacement is limited to the supply and installation of the faulty parts/components, and repairs are done at the manufacturers expense, limited to replacement of the faulty parts/components - and no other claims for costs or inconvenience, or other incidental losses, or replacement of associated parts/components, will be entertained. One of the biggest problems I have found is actually trying to get manufacturers to admit to manufacturing faults. In some cases, I had to get an independent report that produced evidence of faulty parts/components. In this case, Jabiru have "manned up" and admitted they've produced a faulty component, and are willing to replace it at their cost. I think this is very reasonable, and I don't think it's reasonable, or fair, or even legally enforceable, for Jabiru engine owners to try and get Jabiru to pay for transportation/relocation of the owners aircraft, or supply a brand new complete engine, or to try and claim other incidental costs related to the repair or downtime.

The outlanding video has text under it in that interview video above, identifying the video owner as Roger Steele. The pilot watches the emergency landing video in the interview, and says "he's watched it about 500 times, and every time I watch it, it feels like I'm watching someone else land this airplane. It does not feel like I was in that or flying that, which is kinda weird". So, it appears the video is genuine, and it has to be the "arsey-ist" genuine outlanding I've ever watched on video in a long time. The pilot says he saw about a 50 foot wide strip of clear turf and was worried about hitting a group of golfers and several golf carts, but he managed to avoid them all. I reckon he must have landed into the wind, too, because the Cessna appears to be floating pretty well at very low airspeed.

The outlanding is genuine, it's just that someone has manufactured a fake video of it happening, when in fact it's highly unlikely that anyone would be able to video the precise moments it all happened. Add in the fact that the photo of where the aircraft stopped, is a whole lot different point to where the video shows it stopped.

In the golf course crash landing, Harrison Ford incurred a broken arm, and head injuries that weren't life-threatening. https://simpleflying.com/harrison-ford-plane-crashes-history/

......there were a few stray rabbits running for their warrens, which CT promptly cursed, as he was sure he was taking out all the Pass rabbits, as well as the turban-wearers. However, no sooner had he reloaded, than he heard........

........leader of the Afghan Taliban, as he was leading a charge of suicide bombers up the Pass. Cappy simply flicked his towel and the Taliban leader just fell over like a pole-axed steer, once he got a whiff of it. Once their leader was gone, the suicide bombers fell into disarray and promptly blew each other up. Of course, Cappy claimed the win as a personal victory, ensuring that the precise details of how he nailed the Taliban leader remained a secret, until Turbo........

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread. If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

.....this time there had been an abject failure in procurement. However as the telephone box conversation proceeded, it was revealed from the box labels, that OT had outsourced the supplies procurement to a little-known company in Kapooka, curiously titled, "Cappys All You Can Eat Pte" - a company with its main office in Singapore, and sourcing its products from a wide range of el-cheapo, dubious street food suppliers based in China. Some of the boxes still had Chinese labelling, such as "Happy Treasure Golden Time Chinese Bao Buns" - all dated pre-COVID. "I can't believe this!" cried Turbo to Cappy. OT was obviously relying on you supplying good tucker with your contract, and you've sub-let the supply to a bunch of street food hawkers in Shenzheng!!" "What do you think this is going to do to the troops morale, when we get to the Khyber and open the boxes and find this rubbish?" "Well", said Cappy, "I was hoping I was going to be far away when that happened, so I couldn't.................

......being shined into the darkest areas, to more clearly display the level of looseness, and to confirm the correct approach to tightening up the looseness, until offending parts are once again stiffened to the required level for......

.....rocking and bouncing, which can lead to........