Fathers Day - Dad Jokes

[Nobags]

Wilbur and Orville Wright used to take it in turns to do the test flying/crashing of the Kittyhawk. After the 13th crash, after extricating himself from the wreckage... Wilbur was heard to say to Orville “All this (gesture to the wreckage) just to bonk a few hostess’s!”

[onetrack]

What do you call a generic brand of potatoes?

 

Imitators.

[Cyrano]

I was at a quiz night recently. A question was, who were the first aviators to fly across the Atlantic. Someone from the crowd yelled, "Sammy Davis jr!!".

The quiz master replied ,"don't be silly it was Alcock and Brown".

 

Yes, thats what I said-Sammy Davis jr !!!

[red750]

I know this is a little late for Father's Day, but anyway:

 

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in Trinidad. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

[Cyrano]

There were two cows chatting to each other in the pasture.

One says to the other, " hey, are you concerned about catching mad cow disease?".

 

The other replys, "why should I be worried? I'm a helicopter!!"

[red750]

The first French Fries weren't cooked in France, they were cooked in grease.

[red750]

My friend keeps saying "Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a whole lot of water."

 

I know he means well.

[M61A1]

Imagine The Titanic with a lisp.

 

It's unthinkable.

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I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.

 

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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I once dated a magazine collector. She had some issues.

[red750]

This is an old one -- if you've heard it before. (Not if you haven't!)

 

The Secret Service no longer shout "Get Down" if there is a terrorist attack. They yell "Donald. Duck"

[M61A1]

They're going to put a clock on the leaning tower of Pisa. That way it'll have both the time and the inclination.