The Never Ending Story

.....pened the Porta Potto in the grotto......

Oooh the PONGo!!! Quickly the grotto became the NoGo...

Crikeyo said Salty isnt there some sort of blue loo stuff that goes in this thing to kill the smell? It reminds me of Major'sville just after a big cylcone comes and does the Huff and Puff and "blows their dunnys down!" thing.

Yeah said Madge now you remind me it does. The telly always shows all the trees with tin roofing embedded in them cause them southerners are always impressed by that, but what really scares them F'n Qlanders is that Mach 1 turd migration in the middle of a huff!

Strewth said Loxys on the quiet, my Doc gave me some Movicol....He never told me that if not carefull VNE will be exceeded, speed of sound exceeded and the pocelain likely to shatter. Madge looked thoughtful for a sec and then said "Ive seen that a few times and always wondered what on earth people did when they went to the Bog at the BoB" Turbo smirked and said ......

..."That happened in the upstairs facilities one hot night years ago before air conditioning, when they just had ceiling fans.
"Loxy, dressed in a dinner suit strolled back down to the ballroom, and found it empty, apart from the band's drummer who had his foot caught in a drum.
"Heckledy Freckledy, why so speckledy?" asked Loxy.
"It's alright for you Spick and Span, where were you when the sh$t hit the fan" said the drummer.

The bands been smashed and all the instruments are trashed.The crowd went wild, they left to look for ....

...salvation, as they all believed that the GodofBoB (Elratto in a sequined lime green leotard with matching fishnets and silver stillettos) was angry with them for......

.........not posting since January 27.....

But Sir Nobu and Elratto were busy ,they where testing out the mini guns on a vampire fighter they got cheap on ebay [they couldnt get an engine for it ,so somehow loxy got them two apu units from a couple of 737,s that where laying around]Maybe we can register it with raa, Hey Nobu whats the latest weight increase ,it must have gone up again its been 6 weeks or so ??Suddenly an ear splitting noise got louder and louder as something approached the flight line holy sh%$# said the minor major it,s.......................

......a TJJSF (Tomo Jabiroota Joint Strike F***cker) without the mandatory exhaust baffles (keeps em kooler said the youngun)"
It was at this point that Elratto moved his tail to one side and in a loud voice said................

Theres no way those southern hoards can beat us now, picking bits of gravel from his hair [he got too close when testing the apu,s] We,ll fight on the beaches/on the hills and valleys.........We shall never surrender!!!! Arm those aircraft men it,s time those southens learn,t a lesson.You could split the air with a knife as the group assembled for the briefing...........Righto you men this is what we are going to do....................

.....and bull sat for five days trying to remember what it was.

He drew his Churchillian self up for another Salvo, and exceeded Churchills ability to convey big messages in just a couple of words; no words came out.

"I don't need a knife to cut the air" said Loxie, "try this!" The room cleared instantly.

"PEW!!!!" Turbo exclaimed, "We can't use gas, that's against the Geneva Convention"

"Well how about......."

....instead of ringing the scramble bell ,i,ll just fart ah,that will get em in the air fast.Suddenly everyone had to do a flight check,there was lightwingys drifters and all sorts of flying sabots with lawnmower engines heading for all points of the compass,bloody ell said elratto start those apu,s i,m going to ...........

....but bull had forgotten he'd quit all those ultralight thingys in a burst of rage that people were buying decent aircraft.

The only one to get off the ground was Tomo, who this week was flying a pneumatic shovel......

in ever decreasing circles around those looking for gas around Cecil's planes

"Who is Cecil and what sort of plane does he have?" asked Mavis
"If you want gas" said Nana, "All you have to do is go for a flight with Loxy after he has had a big fry up for breakfast"
"Oh yeah" laughed Mavis, "I remember when..................

"............I lit a cigarette and we had a flameout in the Sportstar. Didn't Loxysocks throw a tantrum when he realised his chamois upholstery and pink woollen joystick cover were singed................"

But Loxy being a "hands on" sort of guy, soon had the problem covered.

"It's a nuisance having to use two hands" said Loxy "but otherwise I'd never find it....."

Are you trying to make a spectacle of me Tubs, replied the village locksmith?
Thats so far from the truth.
For with these new contact lenses I made out of the bottoms of Tooheys twist-top bottles, I can clearly see everything from an A380 on very short finals, to the over-weight Sheila down the road that got into The Biggest Loser finals.

to the over-weight Sheila down the road that got into The Biggest Loser finals.[/quote]
Geez! thats a bit tough, replied Mavis. My best mate from down in the Nong, and I, have been getting a fair bit of excercise lately and as a result I lost---------------

Geez! thats a bit tough, replied Mavis. My best mate from down in the Nong, and I, have been getting a fair bit of excercise lately and as a result I lost---------------[/quote]

....me best pair of french knickers cos the waist lakky wasnt tight enuff"

"Oooooh, I hope elratto dont find em" said Nana, "cos then he will.....................